


Taboo

by mike_test123



Series: Taboo [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Extramarital Affairs, Fluff and Angst, GoT easter eggs you get a cookie for each one you find, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Multi, R Plus L Equals J, Romance, The burn is damn slow, aunt nephew incest, lots of light humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 09:57:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 46,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13924737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mike_test123/pseuds/mike_test123
Summary: To them, their love is gentle, kind and selfless.To the world, their love is forbidden.--Summer has begun and Dany reluctantly comes home to King's Landing. It's been a year since she graduated from high school and a year since she ran away from the boy she grew up with. The boy she fears she likes too much.__Set in a modern Westeros and jumps back and forth from past to present. Nodded as much as I could to book and show (mostly show) references. Giving my best to explore G.R.R.M's complicated characters :D





	1. Summer Tradition

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, and it's a multi-chapter adventure too. Great!  
> Not too confident about my skill in writing, but I hope the story makes up for it. I have a lot of drama packed up!  
> Please enjoy!

**Dany - Present**

*

Dany stared at the traveling bag that lay at her feet, contemplating. Her thumb absentmindedly stroked the brass knob of the large door in front of her. With one heavy sigh, she straightened her back and forced her gaze through the glass of the door window.  
  
She watched children running and screaming around the living room inside. There were more of them today than she could remember in previous summers. The adults sat on the long sofas that circled an elegant coffee table in the center of the room.  
  
Dany felt her breath catch when her gaze locked with a pair of grey eyes.  
  
She withdrew her hand from the knob a second before the door flung open. Then she was staring at the radiant smile of the lovely dark haired woman standing in front of her.  
  
“Dany! What are you doing just standing there? Get in here!”  
  
Dany gasped into the hair of the woman as the arms that wrapped around her squeezed at her ribs. “Hi Lyanna. It’s wonderful to see you again.”  
  
Lyanna pulled away and grasped her by the shoulders.  
  
“You really thought I was going to let you skip out on family tradition this summer, huh? You were smart to get on the plane yourself. Else, I would’ve swum to Mereen and dragged you here by your ankles!”  
  
Dany chuckled. “I’ll be wise not to test you again. Just thought no one would miss me this one time.”  
  
“How could you say that!” Lyanna pulled her into a tight hug again and rocked them sideways. “I’ve missed you so, so much. It’s been a whole year since you left for university and just, why did you have to choose somewhere so far away? It’s almost like you’re running away from us!”  
  
Dany forced a convincing laugh out of her mouth.  
  
“Daenerys.”  
  
She inhaled deeply when Lyanna finally released her, only to be smothered again into the chest of a tall man.  
  
“How was your flight?”  
  
“Subpar.” Dany pouted as she pulled back and looked up. “My lemon soda didn’t taste like lemons and the pillows weren’t arranged according to my tastes. Rhaegar, how many times do I have to bring this up with you?”  
  
Rhaegar chuckled and ruffled the top of her hair. “Someone will get your bags, come on in and grab something to eat.”  
  
“It’s fine, I’ve got them.” She hastily pulled up the handle of her traveling case and bent over to grab the duffel bag from the floor. “Who’s here?”  
  
“Just visiting friends from back in college. And their families.”  
  
“Where’s the Stark family?”  
  
“Still on the road from Winterfell. They’ll be here in a few hours.”  
  
Dany nodded. “Where’s Jon?” She felt her heart skip a beat.  
  
“He’s in the game room being forced to play with the kids.”  
  
“I see.” She turned towards the opposite direction of the game room. “I’ll check on him after I unpack. Catch up with you later.” She strode away hurriedly.  
  
As she collapsed on top of her old bed, she heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
She never intended to return to King’s Landing. At least not until she was sure all her unwanted feelings had subsided.  
  
It had been a year since she said goodbye to the boy with dark curly hair and beautiful grey eyes. Yet her affections for him felt as strong as they had all those years ago when she first recognized them, if not stronger.  
  
She patted herself on the back for having evaded her nephew for now.  
  
When her bedroom door burst open, she groaned, realizing she congratulated herself too soon. Screaming kids streamed inside and grabbed her by the arms, dragging her out to the hall and shouting at her to join their game of hide-and-seek.  
  
When they turned a corner, her heart dropped to her stomach as her gaze met the pair of grey eyes she was dreading to see.  
  
“Dany! I didn’t know you arrived.”  
  
Jon gave her a wide grin. The grin was just as stupid as Dany remembered. “I’d uh, hug you, but” He gestured to the blockade of hyper children pulling at his shirt.  
  
“I don’t want to hug you. I smell nice right now and don’t want to smell like wet dog”  
  
Jon laughed and Dany smiled despite herself. She wanted very much to smell like wet dog.  
  
“Mike’s it! Mike’s it! Start counting, Mike!” One of the kids shrieked as he started running down the stairs.  
  
A little boy with brown hair turned around to face the wall, closed his eyes and started counting aloud. All the kids hushed their giggles as they frantically scrambled in different directions, disappearing under, behind and inside various pieces of furniture.  
  
Dany released the breath she was holding when Jon was dragged away and disappeared from sight.  
  
She shut her eyes and gathered her bearings before taking a few steps towards a curtain nearby. She lazily flung the sheer drapes around her, not really in the mood to play a game and intending to be found instantly.  
  
After a few moments, realizing how jetlagged she felt, she decided she’d rather not be found at all.  
  
She dashed out from the curtain in search of a child-proof hiding spot, circling the whole floor before finally setting her eyes on the steep staircase that led to the attic. She sprinted to the top of the steps and quietly closed the door behind her.  
  
With her back pressed to the door, Dany surveyed the dusty quarters crammed with furniture. At one corner stood the stack of boxes containing her old things, right where she left them after she cleaned her room in this house for the last time.  
  
She could see the sleeves of her high school uniform peeping beneath the cardboard flaps of the topmost box. She could picture the rest of its contents: medals from debate competitions, horseback riding gear, and at the very bottom, a book that held a blue winter rose pressed flat in between its pages. The image brought a sad smile to her lips.  
  
She shook her head, willing the image to disappear from her thoughts.  
  
It wasn’t long before she spotted a narrow wooden trunk that was perfect for hiding a body, maybe even two. It was situated all the way at the back, barricaded by a few shelves.  
  
_No one would ever bother to look in there._  
  
She imagined herself crawling inside, falling asleep, and waking up to find herself in a utopia thousands of years into the future. A society where perhaps… she wouldn’t be punished for loving who she loved.  
  
With a huff, Dany lifted the heavy wooden cover and froze when she saw that it was already occupied.  
  
She locked eyes with a surprised Jon, who laid nice and snug in her spot. It looked like she had interrupted him from falling asleep. She wondered if Jon had planned to sleep away the next few millennia in this trunk like she did.  
  
The knob by the attic entrance rattled.  
  
Dany made to close the trunk and look for another spot to hide, when suddenly a hand circled her wrist. She didn’t spare a second thought before she hastily climbed into the crowded compartment with Jon and gently lowered the cover above her.  
  
It was dark, stuffy and cramped. Great.  
  
Fumbling in the dark, Dany managed to rest her palms on either side of Jon’s head and prop her knees on either side of his hips. Despite their very limited space, she was careful not to touch him. However, there was nothing she could do about her hair which probably cascaded around his face, tickling him.  
  
The door opened and closed, followed by the sound of excited but hushed giggles. The hurried footsteps faded as the little girl, Dany assumed, headed towards the opposite direction.  
  
She silently thanked the gods that they were playing with small children who didn’t think to lift heavy trunk covers. The room went quiet again after the creaking of a wardrobe door was followed by a soft thud.  
  
Dany let out a small sigh of relief as she realized the Mike kid probably hadn’t finished counting yet. But the relief didn’t last long.  
  
Her mind was drawn to pay attention to the body that lay underneath her and to whom it belonged. She tensed and silently cursed, stupefied that she had let herself crawl into this one hell of a hole.  
  
Not wanting to risk being found in this position, she willed herself to get out. But her limbs betrayed her and she stayed, resigned to believing this coffin of theirs had been nailed permanently.  
  
She told herself that she just didn’t want to alert the third person hiding in the room, but that was a lie. She simply didn’t want to part from the man she worked so hard to avoid, now that he was this close to her again.  
  
Her arms started to tremble from bearing her weight and she decided that enduring the pain served as her punishment for jumping into this stupid situation.  
She counted in her head, willing Mike to hurry up and find all his playmates. But she lost count somewhere at 300, too distracted by how unbearably hot it was inside the trunk.  
  
She controlled her increasingly labored breaths as best as she could, but in the end Jon must have noticed the growing strain she felt. She wondered if the sweat from her forehead had dripped onto his face. Embarrassment would have washed over her.  
  
But when she felt Jon’s hands holding her waist, gently lowering her on top of his body, all that registered was relief.  
  
She inhaled sharply at the relief spreading through her arms and legs. She was sure Jon could feel her heart hammering in her chest, partly from maintaining a strenuous stance for a good several minutes and partly from being pressed against Jon like that. She was grateful that there was no way for him to see how red her face felt.  
  
Jon’s hands lightly rested on either side of her waist, the rise and fall of his chest in rhythm with her breathing. That should have been enough for her to relax, but her sweaty, sticky skin bothered her too much.  
  
The uncomfortable heat and the lack of ventilation made Dany yearn for the fresh air outside the trunk. She desperately wanted to forget the game and just pop out, into open space. But she merely shifted against Jon, relishing the feel of his body under hers more than anything else in the world. Even if it suffocated her.  
  
Her brain wandered to dangerous thoughts that she never dared to entertain, at least not in normal circumstances. Lying on top of Jon, feeling his fingers pressed ever so lightly on her sides and his nose nuzzling her hair, was not a normal circumstance.  
  
So her mind took off, wondering exactly when it was that she had fallen in love with a Targaryen like her.  
  
She couldn’t remember the first time she met him, they were too young.  
  
It was probably on a summer like this one, when Rhaegar and Lyanna started this tradition and brought their families together in their home in King’s Landing. She was only an infant then, cradled in her mother’s arms while Lyanna cradled Jon beside her, blissfully unaware of what he would one day become to her.  
  
In the summers that followed, upon arriving from Dragonstone with her mother and Viserys, she observed the Stark-Targaryen gathering grow little by little.  
  
Sansa came along, then Arya, then Bran. Theon seemed to appear out of nowhere, then Dany found out he was adopted. She didn’t like Theon because he always pulled her hair and made fun of its silver color, calling her granny Dany.  
  
She remembered Jon standing himself between her and the much taller boy at some point. He told Theon that Dany’s hair was pretty and it looked just like his father’s. If Theon had something to say about Dany’s hair, he had better say it to Rhaegar as well.  
  
Other than Jon coming to defend her hair’s honor, there were few memories that Dany had of him in the early summers of their childhood. Jon played outside with the boys and Arya, while Dany and Sansa preferred having tea parties indoors.  
  
The year Dany turned 10, her mother died. That was when Rhaegar welcomed her into his home and she was raised under the same roof as Jon from then on.  
  
The invitation was extended to Viserys as well, naturally, but he was old enough to take the world on his own, and so he left for Essos. When they heard from him, there was trouble involved, usually about a ban from entering a country.  
  
Dany thought Jon would simply assume Viserys’ place as her brother. But Viserys was sometimes cruel so Dany was always extra careful not to test his temper, opting to lock herself in her room and quietly read.  
  
The first night she spent in her new home, she propped herself on the pillows of her bed, a book in hand and the door firmly bolted across the room. She jumped in surprise when a sudden knock disrupted her reading.  
  
When she found Jon at her doorway, offering her a hello and a shy smile, she knew she had to start redefining what having a brother meant.  
  
On the first day of school, Dany felt nervous and uncomfortable since she stood out so much with her silver hair and purple eyes. But it didn’t matter much when she later discovered that she quite liked standing out.  
  
She made more friends than she ever had when she was living in Dragonstone, where she used to act stiffly and recluse under Viserys’ watchful eye.  
  
As she and her new friends were laughing by the corridors, she caught Jon passing by and froze, expecting a scold of some sort. But Jon only waved and flashed them a sheepish grin before walking on to class.  
  
Dany decided then that she didn’t miss her older brother in the slightest and wished him well wherever he was in Essos. She wondered if perhaps the new brother she had could actually be her friend.  
  
She found Jon waiting for her by the campus gates after dismissal. He politely offered to call the driver to bring her home, or if she liked walking, he would gladly accompany her.  
  
They walked home together from then on and it easily became Dany’s favorite part of the day. She would talk about what they discussed in Mr. Lannister’s class, what the Frey boys did to get another suspension, and whatever trivial thing came to mind.  
  
Jon would laugh and sometimes offer a joke, but most of the time he just listened sincerely. It always made Dany feel warm.  
  
The years flew by and he became her best friend without her realizing it.  
  
Although Jon was only a year older than her, he was two levels ahead since he excelled so much academically. And so he was in high school before Dany knew it.  
  
Jon started staying later hours in campus, having joined the fencing team with Robb among other extracurricular activities. The walks home suddenly made Dany feel the loneliest she’d ever been.  
  
Dany’s friends adored Robb and one late afternoon, they decided to sneak into the high school gym and watch the fencing team practice. From a balcony overlooking the facility, peeping over the railings covered in banners, they spotted Robb and Jon prepare to spar.  
  
The girls beside Dany silently flailed their arms in cheer for the Stark boy as he gracefully danced around the jabs of his Targaryen opponent. Robb liked to put on a show, playfully blocking Jon’s blade with his lazy parries like he was in a game. But all of a sudden, Jon’s lunge was too fast for Robb and the match was over, Robb’s head bowed in defeat.  
  
Dany wondered if Jon sensed the soundless booing directed at him when his gaze lifted up to their hiding spot. Her friends ducked behind the cover of the banners, but she remained still, meeting Jon’s eyes. A smile tugged the corner of his mouth and he gave her a wink before resuming his stance for his next duel.  
  
Dany’s heart fluttered. She frowned, feeling confused and slightly upset. Her heart wasn’t supposed to flutter because of something Jon did.  
  
She and her friends waited outside the gym entrance to ambush Robb, although she found herself seeking out a different face.  
  
She spotted Jon stepping out the door and she felt her cheeks warm. His hair was disheveled and damp from a fresh shower, and Dany noticed only then how much taller he’d gotten in the last year. His face lit up as he said something to Robb over his shoulder.  
  
Then there it was, that flutter in her heart again.  
  
Her friends disappeared from her side and she watched Jon’s grin morph with surprise as he stumbled to make way for the raging female stampede headed for Robb.  
  
He blinked and massaged a spot in his chest that received one too many shoves.  
  
Dany walked towards him, reveling at how much she had to crane her neck to gape at his face, not realizing how her mouth hung open like an invitation for flies to swoop in.  
  
When he glanced down and met her wide eyes, he offered her a hello and a shy smile. It was the same smile he had given her when he appeared at her doorway on the first night she came to live with his family.  
  
The smile that asked her if she would be so kind to accept his friendship. If she would be so kind to let him listen to her. To let him accompany her home. To let him say hi to her and her friends in the corridors. To let him be part of her life.  
  
The door to the attic burst open and Dany was back on earth, crammed inside a trunk with a boy she feared she liked too much.  
  
“I know there’s someone hiding here!” A little boy shouted as he marched into the room. Mike, Dany thought.  
  
Panic started creeping into her as she heard more kids enter, the sound of collective giggling and stomping filling the room. She guessed all the other kids had already been found and it was down to three: Dany, Jon and the little girl hiding in the wardrobe on the other side of the attic.  
  
It was so noisy all of a sudden as cabinet doors were yanked open, furniture dragged across the wooden floor, and children screaming excitedly for the last hiders to come out.  
  
At last, a creaky wardrobe door swung open and a girl’s shrill scream overpowered the rest of the noise.  
  
“You found me!”  
  
The rest of the kids yelled in triumph.  
  
“Did we find everyone?”  
  
“We still haven’t found Jon or Dany!”  
  
Dany tensed at the mention of their names. She had hoped that the children would overlook them, considering the large number of players participating. She silently cursed that one kid who remembered and blurted their names.  
  
“We pretty much checked everywhere else. Maybe they’re somewhere in here too!”  
  
_Oh fuck_ , Dany thought.  
  
“Hey, check that big trunk over there!”  
  
The sound of stomping feet grew dangerously loud from where she and Jon hid.  
  
_Oh FUCK_ , Dany thought again.  
  
She squirmed on top of Jon, awkwardly fumbling her limbs against him, struggling to turn herself around. If they made a noise, it was easily drowned out by the excited voices outside.  
  
She reached out her hands to grasp the protruding wood that rimmed the base of the trunk’s lid then pulled down hard. She felt Jon stretch his arms to do the same.  
  
They fought hard at the resistance that came as they felt the kids outside the trunk working together, trying to push the cover upwards. Dany’s arms were trembling but she pulled down with all her might.  
  
“It’s locked shut! I don’t think anyone’s inside there.”  
  
Mumbling voices hummed outside.  
  
“Or-or m-maybe there’s a ghost trapped inside” A boy’s trembling voice muttered.  
  
Dany felt Jon kick the side of the trunk with his foot.  
  
There was a quiet pause.  
  
Suddenly, all the force trying to lift the trunk lid died and shrill screams echoed through the attic. Footsteps were bolting out the door, the screams following them out and in a moment, the room was silent at last.  
  
Dany let go of the rim, allowing her overworked arms to drop on her chest and her head to fall back. The base of her head met the curve of Jon’s shoulder. She inwardly thanked the boy and his fear of ghosts for unwittingly saving her and Jon from discovery.  
  
If she wasn’t so exhausted, she too would have bolted out of the trunk and out of the room like the rest of the kids, but she’d be running away from something she found even scarier than a ghost.  
  
She was too drained to care at that moment.  
  
After several gulps of hot air, Dany felt her heart calm down and her senses return to her. It finally crossed her mind that her weight was probably crushing the poor body underneath her.  
  
She made to rise and finally leave this dark, stuffy compartment forever when she felt Jon’s hands splay over her stomach.  
  
Dany held her breath. There wasn’t much pressure from his hold so she could have easily shrugged his hands off, but she froze in place instead.  
  
Then Jon’s fingers started moving, gently caressing the skin covered by her dress, causing butterflies to stir from the pits of her belly.  
  
She was suddenly aware of the heartbeat that thudded fast and hard, emanating from Jon’s chest pressed against her back. Jon’s arms now wrapped around her in an embrace and she felt him bury his face in her hair, his nose nuzzling her ear. He inhaled deeply, tickling her skin. Her head spun when she felt him harden against her bottom.  
  
When she arched her back in the slightest and pressed her hips downward, it was over in a second.  
  
Jon’s arms shot up to push the trunk cover open and he bolted upright, bringing Dany to sit up on top of him. Although the attic air was in reality quite musty, it felt like a fresh ocean breeze in Dany’s lungs as she took her fill.  
  
Jon’s hands gripped her waist again, lifting Dany up and helping her out of the trunk. He climbed out after her.  
  
They were both drenched in sweat, their clothes clinging uncomfortably to their skin. Jon’s eyes looked over her for half a second before he sharply turned away.  
  
“Dany.”  
  
Dany looked down to find that the hem of her dress had ridden up almost to her waist, probably from when she tossed and turned inside the trunk and then when she climbed out of it. She pulled her dress down.  
  
Jon didn’t look at her again.  
  
Dany felt her cheeks flush. Jon had seen her in her underwear several times in the past without batting an eye. The only consequence was an irritated huff on her part and the bump on Jon’s head from a hairbrush she’d fling at him. Not the awkward and uncomfortable air that weighed on them now.  
  
Dany wondered why in that moment, everything was different.  
  
She wondered if it was the sight of the chaotic silver nest on top of her head, or the sweat shining on her haggard face, or the dark damp circles stained all over her dress that made Jon turn away, with a look that Dany could only describe as nauseated.  
  
She felt as hideous as she probably looked.  
  
“Please forgive me, Dany.” Jon said quietly before hastily exiting the attic, not waiting for Dany to respond and leaving her alone.  
  
She cupped her elbows with her hands and stared at the door after him. All the sweet memories and fuzzy feelings she suppressed for as long as she could came crashing down on her at once. Then the sadness that nothing more could ever come from those feelings followed.  
  
“There’s nothing to forgive.” She whispered to no one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Needed to post this chapter before I could fiddle any more with it.
> 
> This is my first time publishing a fic, so I don't know what kind of reactions I should expect. Call me nasty for putting the incest element in this story, but I found it to be such an interesting conflict for a romance. Expect more unconventional relationships reflected in the actual plot of GoT :)


	2. What You Wish For

**Jon - Past**

*

“Being an only child must be awesome. I’m so jealous of you.”

Jon opened his eyes and stared at Robb’s back. He sat up from the grass then elbowed his cousin in the rib. “What are you talking about? I wish I had a bunch of siblings like you.”

Robb scoffed. “Careful what you wish for. It sucks to have siblings. You gotta trust me when I say they’re nothing but a big pain in the neck.”

Jon merely smiled. “I wish I had a brother. Or a sister, doesn’t matter. This house is too big for just me and my parents.”

“Hey, I’m like your brother, aren’t I?”

“Yeah. But you’re here only during the summers. I want siblings who are around all the time.”

“Then I think you’re gonna like what I’m gonna tell you.” Robb shifted himself on the grass to fully face Jon and bent his head low, like he was about to share a secret. “I’ve been talking to father about letting me go to high school here in King’s Landing.” He said excitedly.

“Really?” Jon perked up, straightening his back and feeling a grin spread from ear to ear.

“Yeah, but don’t get your hopes up yet.” Robb gazed down and started yanking at the grass with his hands. “He’s a little hard to convince, always telling me that same old line. The lone wolf dies-”

“But the pack survives.” Jon finished for him. “Sounds very much like Uncle Ned. But you’ve got family here, you can tell him he doesn’t have to worry. We’ve got plenty of room, you can live with us.”

Robb sighed and propped his chin on top of his fist. “Honestly, I don’t know if father’s gonna be okay with that.”

“What?” Jon tilted his head to the side. “Living with us here? Why not?”

“I mean, you didn’t hear this from me okay?” Robb lowered his voice. “I don’t think he wants me around your father when he’s not watching.”

Jon blinked, surprised. “My father? What happened between Uncle Ned and my father?”

“It’s kind of a long story. I don’t know everything, but I have a feeling my father secretly dislikes Uncle Rhaegar.” Robb stretched around to check if anyone was within earshot.

Arya, Bran and Theon were a good distance away playing tag. Dany and Sansa sat under a far tree, arranging flower crowns together. The adults were sitting by the picnic table, immersed deeply in conversation. Rhaegar Targaryen and Ned Stark were speaking to each other like ordinary friends.

Robb turned back to Jon and said in a hushed voice, “I was just snooping in father’s office with Sansa and Arya one time. Then we heard people coming in, so we had to hide. Father came in with his best friend, Uncle Robert.”

“Baratheon?”

“Yeah, that’s him. So we listened to their conversation and your parents came up. Uncle Robert got really, really mad. Like, he was shouting a lot of bad things about Uncle Rhaegar. He said that if he could, he would’ve taken a hammer and smashed it right into your father’s chest!”

Robb made a fist and lightly shoved it against Jon’s heart. It didn’t hurt, but Jon pressed his fingers over the spot and absentmindedly rubbed circles around it.

“That’s how angry he was. My father didn’t say anything bad, but he did agree with some of the things that Uncle Robert said.”

“Woah.” Jon huddled closer to Robb and widened his eyes. “Like what?”

Robb thought hard for a moment. “He agreed that everything would’ve been better if Aunt Lyanna never met your father. That’s all I can remember.”

Jon blinked. “Oh…”

He felt his brows furrow in confusion. He knew his mother and father loved each other very much. They got along so well with Uncle Ned and his family too. Why would Uncle Ned think that his parents never should have met?

“But hey.” Robb playfully nudged Jon’s head with his hand. “I’m definitely going to convince father to let me study here. We’ll have so much fun doing all kinds of teenager stuff, you and me. We’ll be the best and coolest brothers in the city.”

Jon grinned. “I can’t wait to have you here. All the kids at school are so bratty. Don’t get me started on Joffrey Lannister.”

“Gods! Joffrey Lannister.” Robb barked in laughter. “I can’t wait to kick his butt and watch him cry to his mommy about it.”

Jon laughed, forgetting about his uneasiness a few moments ago.

For the rest of the day, he was unable to wipe the smile off his face, thinking about siblings and high school and making Joffrey Lannister cry. He finally had a future he was looking forward to.

**  
**  
**

Jon knew he was supposed to be in mourning, but he had a little difficulty fighting the smile that was tugging at the corner of his mouth. He pressed his lips in a hard line, that way he thought he looked like he was holding back a sob.

He and his parents had just arrived in Dragonstone that morning. Now, they were in a car heading to the Targaryen residence, his father’s childhood home.

“Jon, remember to pay your respects to your grandmother.” His father instructed, sitting on the leather seat across from him.

“And be extra considerate to Daenerys, this is a tough time for her. She’ll be coming home with us to King’s Landing after the funeral. You must make her feel welcome.”

Jon nodded his head vigorously. He didn’t have to wait until high school to gain a sibling after all.

What’s it going to be like having a sister? Will she like the same things as Arya? Will she be as rowdy as her? Maybe not, she was more similar to Sansa. It doesn’t matter. Dany wasn’t going to be like Arya or Sansa. Dany was going to be like Dany. She was going to be his friend.

Jon inwardly smiled at the thought.

He saw her as they were climbing the steps to the top of a grassy hill. Her hair and her long skirts billowed in the harsh wind while she covered her face with her hands. Uncle Viserys had a hand gripped firmly on her shoulder.

His parents reached them first. Jon watched his father clap Viserys on the shoulder and pull him into a brief hug. Then he knelt down in front of Dany to embrace her before walking towards the crowd of people dressed in black. His mother kissed them both on the top of their heads before following Rhaegar to greet friends and family of the dearly departed.

Jon approached Viserys, a little uncertain on how to greet him. His uncle was much taller. Hugging him looked awkward to do and kissing his head was impossible without some pulling or climbing on Jon’s part. So he looked up to his eyes and simply nodded.

Viserys didn’t offer a nod in return, he simply patted the top of Jon’s hair and walked a few steps away.

Jon turned to look at Dany, who still held her face in her hands. Up close, he could see that she was shaking terribly. He wasn’t sure if it was the cold winds or the emotional turmoil that shook her so.

He lightly touched the back of her hand and her face emerged from her palms as she inhaled sharply through her nose. Her big purple eyes were bright with tears and her mouth was pressed in a hard line to keep from making a sound. Her eyes darted to something behind Jon and she quickly buried her face into her hands once more.

Jon glanced over his shoulder briefly and caught Viserys’ gaze on them flit to the grey skies.

He wasn’t sure what was going on between them, it was probably one of those fights that were normal among siblings, something he wouldn’t understand. Deciding it wasn’t his place to intrude, he wordlessly walked towards his parents.

He looked over his shoulder often to check on Dany, wishing he could’ve at least given her the hug that he rehearsed in his head all day.

For the rest of that day and the next three days, he quietly watched her gradually compose herself more and more. He could hear her sobbing from behind her bedroom door when he passed by to go to the bathroom at night. Gradually, the crying stopped too.

When they boarded the jet set for King’s Landing, she was completely back to normal. Only the slight puff of the skin under her eyes betrayed how much she had been mourning.

On their first night living together in his home, she remained silent throughout dinner and retreated to her new room as soon as was politely possible.

Jon frowned. This wasn’t how he imagined having a sibling would be like. He imagined that he would play with her and talk with her and laugh with her.

He realized that although he had known her since they were very young, he never really got to know her personally. He scolded himself for all those lost years of friendship that made connecting near impossible at that moment.

He paced back and forth outside her bedroom for a few minutes, trying to muster the courage to finally speak to her since seeing her in Dragonstone.

He paused in front of her door and before he could decide to change his mind, he knocked.

A moment later, a bolt clicked and the door opened, revealing a startled looking Dany.

Jon smiled shyly and cleared his throat before opening his mouth.

“Hello.”

_Let’s be friends, yeah?_

**  
**  
**

Jon took his sweet time walking to the gym, already anticipating the events of the next few hours.

He was going to spar against Robb. Train some more. Take a shower. Exit the gym and be trampled by the pre-teens who went crazy for his cousin.

While he thought fondly of the boy who was like his brother, he didn’t much appreciate being the collateral damage when his fan girls attacked.

_Careful what you wish for. It sucks to have siblings._

Maybe that’s what Robb meant all those years ago.

He chuckled at the thought.

“Jon Stark-Targaryen?”

He turned around at the mention of his name and jumped slightly. What he wasn’t expecting to see, staring intently at him, was his father. Or at least a version of his father that was shorter and much younger. Just about his own age, and wearing baggy clothes instead of a suit and tie.

“That’s me.” Jon blinked and stared, startled at the purple eyes gazing at him. Although the boy was wearing a beanie covering the top of his head, Jon could see a wisp of silver hair tucked behind one ear.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

The boy sighed deeply. “So Rhaegar never talked about me.” He stared at the floor, contemplating for a moment. Then looking back up to meet Jon’s eyes, he said, “My name is Aegon Targaryen. I’m your brother.”

Jon felt his brows shoot up. Brother? Since when did he have a brother? That didn’t make any sense at all. But he knew for sure that this Aegon couldn’t be lying. He was an exact replica of his father. 

“Listen, I want to talk. Do you have the time?”

Jon nodded. He was going to be late for fencing practice that afternoon, but he definitely had to listen to whatever Aegon had to say. A brother of his had just sprung out of nowhere. He would have skipped the entire year’s training to hear him out.

Jon led Aegon to the empty school yard and sat them by a bench surrounded by trees and bushes. They were silent for a few moments, listening to the leaves rustle and observing the dancing patches of sunlight filtered from the foliage above them.

Jon cleared his throat. “Does my… Does our father know you’re here?”

Aegon straightened in his seat. “No. I’ve actually never seen or talked to him in my life.”

“Oh.”

Silence again.

“Where…” Jon started, uncertain how to continue.

“Sunspear.” Aegon replied abruptly. “I came from Sunspear. I lived there with my mother and sister. She’s your sister too. Her name’s Rhaenys.”

Jon’s eyes widened. Not only did he have a brother all this time. He also had a sister. What more was his father hiding from him?

“I came here by myself, though my mother was against it. She never wanted me to step foot in this city and see Rhaegar. But I wanted to find out about him… and I wanted to leave Sunspear.”

Jon nodded. “How did you know about me? I’m sorry I didn’t know about you.”

From the corner of his eye, Jon watched Aegon shift in his seat to face him fully.

“You really don’t know anything?”

Jon turned his head to look at Aegon and blinked.

“You didn’t know about… about Rhaegar’s first wife? About my mother?”

Jon shook his head to the side slowly, furrowing his brows. He knew nothing and the feeling of uncertainty swept through him.

Aegon sighed. “My current guardian. I call him Griff, he used to be one of Rhaegar’s bodyguards. He told me what little he knew. That’s how I found out about you.” Aegon paused for a moment.

“I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you anything. Maybe you should talk to your father about this.”

“No.” Jon clenched and unclenched his fists on top of his lap. “I want to know from you. Father never liked to talk about his past and I don’t know if he was ever going to tell me.”

Aegon nodded. “Let me ask you something. How old is your mother?”

Jon blinked a few times, finding the question a little strange.

His mother was quite young. He pictured her standing next to his father, imagined her smooth face that contrasted some of the wrinkles that lined his father’s forehead.

“She just turned 29.” Jon felt a heaviness begin to weigh in his chest. “She had me when she was a really young teenager.”

“29, I see.” Aegon said calmly.

Jon found his nonchalance a bit disconcerting. The revelation usually surprised people.

“My mother is already nearing her fifties. I think she’s very beautiful for her age, but I often caught her looking sad at her reflection.” Aegon leaned back on the bench and stared blankly in front of him.

“There was this one time, I pointed at her hair because I spotted a few silver strands. I got really excited and I told her that she finally had white hair like me.” Aegon looked down on his lap. “That was the first time I made her cry.”

He paused for a moment.

“I never talked about her white hair again. But her insecurity about it really bothered me. Over the years, she visited a cosmetic surgeon several times. And her cabinets are filled with anti-aging products. I had a feeling all of that had something to do with the woman Rhaegar chose over her.”

Aegon turned to look Jon in the eye.

“That’s why I asked.”

Jon gulped and felt his heart drop to his stomach. He knew his mother was pregnant with him when she wasn’t even halfway through high school. He never had the courage to ask her about it. And he didn’t want to judge her for it.

“I couldn’t get myself to believe what Griff told me.” Aegon was muttering to himself now, but bitterness dripped from his voice. “That my father left my mother, left my sister, left me, for a high school student he impregnated.”

Jon’s throat tightened and he saw Robb’s eyes looking straight at him in his mind.

_Everything would’ve been better if Aunt Lyanna never met your father._

Jon felt sick to his stomach. Had he been a mistake?

“I’m…” He cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry.”

Aegon simply nodded. “I was told Rhaegar left us after you were born. But I want you to know I don’t blame you.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, I…”

_I’m sorry my mother stole my father away from you._

_I’m sorry my father abandoned you._

_I’m sorry I ruined your chance at growing up with normal family._

Jon shook his head. “What brought you to King’s Landing only now?”

_Have you come to claim your rightful place as my father’s son?_

“I have quite a few reasons. I’m not sure where to begin…”

Aegon laced his fingers and rubbed his thumbs together.

“I just couldn’t stay in Sunspear with my mother anymore. The older I got, the harder it became for her to look at me. I guess I look too much like Rhaegar. My mother is a sweet and gentle woman, I knew she would never send me away even if the sight of me hurt her. I thought I would do her a huge favor this way.”

Aegon took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Exhaling, he let his hands fall back on top of his lap.

“Besides, coming here was for the best. I felt foreign in Dorne. Rhaenys looks like she belongs there, but I don’t.

“I didn’t want to live in a Dornish city anymore and I didn’t want a Dornish name. My sister long ago changed her surname to Martell. That’s my mother’s maiden name. But I kept the Targaryen name because it’s the only thing that really resonated with me.

“Now I’m looking for some place I can belong to, I suppose. And I’m trying to find out more about myself through a past I don’t really know about… I guess that’s why I’m here in King’s Landing.”

There was a long pause and Jon figured Aegon was finished talking.

“Do you want to see father?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have any memories of him, but Rhaenys does. She resents him and doesn’t ever want to see him, that’s all there is to tell you. But I wanted to know what you thought of him before I decided for myself.”

Aegon looked at Jon expectantly.

Jon contemplated hard. “Father has been a good person all these years. He keeps to himself often, but I’m surprised he had all these kinds of secrets.”

Jon swallowed the lump in his throat. Was he angry at his father? He wasn’t sure what he felt. His father never gave him any reason to begrudge him, only more and more reasons to yearn for his praise and approval.

Jon heaved a sigh. “He’s a little serious and quiet, but he’s kind and caring. He puts a lot of effort in arranging get-together activities with my relatives. He’s always making sure we’re having a great time.

“Then a few years ago, when grandmother died, he took in Dany to live with us. Dany’s his little sister. He’s also supporting his younger brother and his travels across Essos.”

Jon smiled hesitantly. “I’ve always known him to put other people before himself. All I can say is, he really cares about his family more than anything else.” He pursed his lips, realizing what he just said.

_His family. Jon and his mother. Not Aegon and Rhaenys and the Martell woman._

He glanced at Aegon from the corner of his vision and caught him biting his lip and fiddling with his thumbs.

“I didn’t mea-”

“Jon!”

Jon and Aegon whipped their heads to the sound of the voice. Up ahead, Jon saw his father approaching them in a half-jog and a red-haired man trailing after him. Jon saw his father shift his gaze to Aegon before freezing several meters away.

The bushes behind them rustled all of a sudden and Jon turned around in his seat to catch a glimpse of a boy sprinting off. Someone had been eavesdropping on his conversation with Aegon. Jon wondered how long.

Then his heart dropped when he recognized the Lannister gold hair that crowned the boy’s head.

**

Jon kept walking, half-running, willing the words and images in his head to go away.

_Son, look at me and listen. I never told you about your siblings and I am deeply sorry. Jon, wait-_

Silver hair and violet eyes.

_My name is Aegon Targaryen. I’m your brother._

Silver hair and violet eyes.

“Jon, there you are! You didn’t show up at the gym for training.”

Brown hair and blue eyes.

Jon shook his head, struggling to register Robb’s face in front of him and the hands that gripped his shoulders, holding him in place.

_Careful what you wish for. It sucks to have siblings._

“You were right, Robb.”

“What?”

“You warned me years ago.”

“What are you talking about?”

_I wish I had a bunch of siblings like you._

“I got what I wished for.”

“Jon, you look like a ghost. Let’s go grab something to ea-”

“Robb Stark! There he is, girls!”

“Oh fu- seriously?”

Normally, Jon would feel irritated at the shoves on his chest, the stomps on his feet, and the shrill screams in his ear when he got in the way of Robb’s eager fan club. But he only thought of how much he was going to miss it.

By tomorrow, everyone was going to change around him and he’ll have Joffrey Lannister to thank.

He could already picture their judging stares, following him in the corridors, in the classroom, in the restroom, in every corner of the campus.

“Jon! Where are you going? Excuse me ladies – wait – ah – hey…”

He could already imagine what they were going to call him.

_An accident._

_Son of a wolf bitch._

_Bastard._

He stumbled, bumping into something.

“Jon! Are you okay?”

He looked down and frowned.

Another damned head of silver hair and another damned pair of violet eyes.

He felt like he was going to hurl.

“Leave me alone.”

He ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really fast update, right? Was just really excited to share this chapter!
> 
> Now I can't promise another update soon because my writing process is a mess. I've got the ending and a bunch of in between chapters and now I'm just trying to stitch them up.
> 
> Also, a friend warned me of people who might not take kindly to the underage relationship element here. I'll only say that this story is largely about love that is socially flawed and unconventional. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Stupid

**Dany - Present**

*

Dany tried to keep herself anchored in the present moment, focusing on the fresh ocean breeze and the view of the horizon where the bright sky met the deep blue sea.

_Don’t think about that._

She reached for the tall glass on the table beside her and took a sip from the straw, savoring the icy tropical flavors that burst in her mouth.

_Don’t._

Returning the glass to the table, she snuggled comfortably against the pillows and cushions of her reclined pool chair.

_Please think of anything but that._

She glanced down over her body, at her cute floral one-piece, at her hands resting on top of her stomach, then at her manicured toenails.

She scanned her view of the top deck of the Targaryen yacht. In the swimming pool in front of her, Rickon, clad in wolf-patterned floaties, laughed and splashed at Arya and Bran. Rhaegar and the rest of the older adults chatted on the far side of the deck, sitting under the shade of an open spaced room.

This was what summer family tradition looked like.

She smiled at the sight and closed her eyes.

Then she was on her hands and knees inside a dark, hot, confined space.

 _His_ hands found their way to her waist and gently pulled her down to rest on top of _his_ body.

His hands caressed her.

His arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace.

His nose nuzzled her ear.

His crotch pressed against her, hard.

Dany’s eyes flew open.

_Gods! Daenerys Targaryen, get your fucking head out of the gutter._

_He’s your nephew._

_He’s your nephew._

_He’s your nephew._

“Hey Dany, how’s your nephew?”

Dany almost jumped out of her seat and into the water.

Steeling herself, she sat up instead and turned to face Sansa lying on the pool chair next to her. She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it, unsure. She blinked anxiously, worried that maybe she had unwittingly voiced out some of her inappropriate thoughts.

“Oh, I meant Aegon. Duh.” Sansa rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“Right.” Dany slowly eased from her stiff posture and cleared her throat in the most subtle manner she could muster. “I don’t know. He took off traveling right after graduating high school. Why?”

Sansa shrugged, smiling. “I think he’s cute. He looks like a prince.”

“Cute? A prince?” Dany made a disgusted gurgling noise. “That _moron_?”

“Moron? Who are we talking about?”

She looked over her shoulder to see Robb approach and prop his hands on the backs of her chair and Sansa’s.

“Aegon Targaryen…?” Sansa raised a brow, uncertain.

“That shitbag?” Robb burst into a fit of laughter.

Sansa blinked, glancing between Dany and Robb.

“Hey Jon!” Robb waved over to Jon who halted in his steps by the pool’s edge. “Get over here and join the fun! We’re dissing your _brother_.” He made a face as he drawled out the last word.

Jon glanced over the gathered people then froze as he met Dany’s eyes for a tense moment.

“I’ll pass.” He quickly resumed his steps and disappeared from sight.

“That was weird. I don’t blame him though, just thinking of that idiot makes me want to jump overboard.” Robb gestured at Dany. “One look at _you_ and boom! War flashbacks!” 

Dany remained quiet and frowned down at her lap, deep in thought.

Distracted, she could barely register the Stark siblings at her side silently arguing and gesturing at her.

“Ow!” Robb rubbed a palm up and down his arm and glared at Sansa before turning to face Dany. “S-sorry Dany. I was just kidding about what I said… about…” He bit his lip and glanced to the side, thinking. “Er, Aegon… Or you… Or Jon… Or…”

“Yeah. Whatever.” Dany waved him off before abruptly rising from her seat and retreating to her chambers below decks.

*

Sprawled on top of her bed, she stared blankly at the ceiling.

She hadn’t imagined it, right?

The way he touched her, caressed her, embraced her…

_Does he…_

She shook her head. It all happened in the dark.

The moment he saw her in broad daylight, though.

The way he looked at her, then turned away. As if he had seen a white walker and realized that’s what he’d just groped.

Dany grabbed a pillow and threw it across the room in frustration.

_Stupid boy! He’s a stupid boy. He’s just like all the other stupid boys._

Stupid boys who let their dicks take over their brains the moment they got their hands on anything that had boobs and a butt.

She rose from her bed and restlessly paced across the floor. She angrily stomped on the pillow that she flung in one corner.

She paused for a moment and sighed before picking it up and hugging it close to her chest.

_You stupid girl. You’re still stupidly in love with that stupid boy._

He’d been avoiding her since the incident the day before, but she happily returned the gesture, unsure of how to confront him.

She climbed back on top of her bed, flopping her stomach over the pillows. She reached for her phone, opening the Facebook app in the hopes of dragging her mind into someone else’s drama.

_Lannister scum! Go shit yourself and rot in the seventh hell._

_You vile monster! I could choke you with my bare fists and watch your eyes bulge out of your sockets._

_Joffrey you little bitch! Show yourself in public ever again and I’ll fucking slap the skin off your face._

Ooooh.

Shaking with excitement, Dany bit her lip, grinning as she scrolled through Joffrey Lannister’s profile. Watching the world collectively torment the little blonde shit always made her feel a little better.

_Joffrey Lannister no wonder your face looks like a horrifying pussy._

_Joffrey I always knew you were a fucked up cunt. Now your biology proves it!_

Dany raised a brow. What was going on?

She tapped on the comment section of the top thread and widened her eyes at the linked headlines.

_The Faith Militant calls upon Cersei Lannister to confess and ask forgiveness from the Seven Gods for her crime of incest._

_Mayor of the Westerlands declines to address rumors concerning the sexual relationship between his son and Cersei Lannister._

_Heir to Casterly Rock Corp. has yet to disclose blood test results confirming his paternal relations to the children of Cersei Lannister._

Dany sat up straight and stared at the three faces that frequently popped up as she scrolled. Joffrey’s mother, Joffrey’s grandfather, and Joffrey’s… uncle?

_Holy fucking shit._

Her feed was full of headlines, different and the same.

_Cersei Lannister._

…Scroll…

_Admired politician and loving husband._

…Scroll…

_Cersei Lannister._

…Scroll…

_Respected businessman and excellent athlete._

…Scroll…

_Cersei Lannister._

_Cersei Lannister._

_Cersei Lannister._

Dany peeled her eyes from the screen and dropped her phone to the sheets.

She frowned at the wall. She saw herself, then Rhaegar, then Jon.

_Daenerys Targaryen…_

_Esteemed philanthropist and caring brother…_

_Daenerys Targaryen…_

_Top-notch student and fencing prodigy…_

_Daenerys Targaryen._

_Daenerys Targaryen._

_Daenerys Targaryen._

Her heart fell.

Of course! This was exactly what she was trying to run away from. But her heart kept telling her all the wrong things, just begging her to seek persecution.

Wallowing in her affections led to nowhere but her own ruin. There was no use loving that stupid boy. Even in the off-chance he somehow grew to love her the way she loved him, there was never any future with him from the start.

She flopped on top of her pillows, feeling incredibly worse after what was supposed to be a fun Joffrey spite session.

She craved for some company, but remained shut in her room, suspecting that everyone was only going to talk about the new Lannister scandal unfolding.

_Did you hear the news?_

_Nasty! Sinful!_

_Unholy! Godless!_

_Such sick and vile creatures that make me want to throw up!_

Dany would then nod her head vigorously and gag, right before turning to gaze at Jon's pretty face while wiping drool from her mouth.

She groaned and hugged her legs close to her chest.

She was right all along. Coming back to King’s Landing had been a huge mistake. She left this life behind for a reason, and a thousand others.

Her phone rang from the edge of the bed. Craning her neck, she caught a glimpse of friendly faces on the screen and felt a smile creep on her lips. She reached and swiped to answer the video call.

“Dany! How’s our beloved queen doing?”

Pouting at the screen, she cried out, “Helloooo Missandei, Doreah, Jhiqui and Irri my loooves.”

“Look at that face! Someone needs a hug, hmm?” Missandei crooned.

“A tub of lemon sorbet?”

“A trip to the mall and a mani-pedi?”

“A wine night with the girls at the beach?”

“A view of crucified rapists and murderers baking under the sun?”

Dany laughed, instantly feeling better. She only said goodbye to her university friends earlier that week, yet she already missed them dearly.

“Oh, I know exactly what will put this girl back in a good mood. Or rather, _who_.”

Loud girlish squealing filled the room and Dany’s cheeks hurt from grinning.

“Girl! Can’t you get back here sooner? I can’t keep telling Daario Naharis the same excuses when he’s asking to see your pretty little face. And you’ve only been gone three days!”

“Why can’t you just tell him the truth that you’re on a vacation with your family?”

“Because, Doreah! That boy is absolutely smitten. He’s probably waiting to superglue a ring on Dany’s finger while she’s not watching.”

Dany rolled her eyes. “No doubt he would’ve pounced on the chance to introduce himself to my family.”

“He’d be flying to Westeros at this moment if he found out about your summer tradition!”

“What could be so bad about having him as a husband, though?”

“Maybe it’s the fact that he’s an inspiring entrepreneur with a heartwarming rags-to-riches background. Wait, that can’t be it.”

“Maybe it’s his strong and fierce resolve, always fighting for his heart’s desire… Nah.”

“The loyal and charming character, with eyes for only one woman? Still no.”

“Definitely can’t be that six-pack!”

“Oh, stop it!” Dany briefly attempted a scolding glare at her friends, but her giggles easily betrayed her and took over.

“Someday, you’re going to tell us what’s holding you back, Dany.”

“Girlfriend of Daario Naharis? Who wouldn’t scramble for that title?”

“Straight men who still don’t know better.”

“The blind and those devoid of feelings.”

“This chair I’m sitting on that can’t even complain about my fat ass.”

“Oh and Daenerys Targaryen, obviously.”

Dany laughed and rolled over on her bed. “Can’t a girl prioritize herself, her friends and her future?”

Smirking, Missandei looked her up and down. “A girl like you? Could put you in charge of running the whole world and you’d still be up for ladies’ night out. What’s wrong with adding a little romance in the mix?”

Dany bit her lip.

She pictured Daario Naharis standing in front of her, tall and handsome in his million-dollar suit and million-dollar smile, wooing her with poetry in his husky voice, holding out a bouquet of dusk rose, lady’s lace, and harpy’s gold.

_Meh._

“Hey, don’t feel pressured, Dany.” Missandei leaned closer to the screen. “Hells, we know better than anyone else that you don’t need a man. But a girl’s gotta get some lovin’ now and then, and the gods know you of all people deserve it.”

Dany hummed. “You girls are so sweet. Tell you what, I’ll give myself until the end of summer to think about it before I consider letting him down nice and easy.”

“Do what you gotta do, girl. While you’re thinking, let me remind you of his massive collection of luxury cars.”

Dany laughed. She pictured Daario in his suit again, holding a bouquet. Then she mentally stickered a Lamborghini under his Christian Louboutin soles.

“And his private island resort with its own amusement park.”

A beach and a roller coaster sticking out of the water in the background.

“And his Michelin star restaurants scattered across Essos.”

A platter of fancy lobster balancing on top of his head.

“And his fricking stretch of land that he turned into a haven for dogs and puppies! _Puppies_ , Dany!”

A Labrador pup cradled in his free arm, wagging its tail, staring at her with big eyes begging, _Please, Dany, please love me._

Dany chuckled at the sight of her friends spreading their hands over their hearts, muttering ‘Awwws’ and fluttering their eyelashes.

“That last one’s _really_ tempting.” She scrunched up her face in deep consideration.

Missandei sighed with a resigned smile. “Yet it’s still not enough. This is the one thing I still haven’t figured out about you, Dany. I really do wonder what kind of boy can top all of that.”

Dany smiled sadly.

_My best friend._

**

Dany was grateful for her friends calling her, reminding her of the life she had waiting for her on the other side of the world. She was even grateful to the scandalous revelation of Joffrey Lannister’s parentage as well. It upset her at first, in a different way that it upset most others. But it served greatly as a wake-up call.

“Sansa, have you seen Jon?” Dany skipped over to the pool’s edge, waving at the ginger beauty basking under the sun on her pink inflatable pool ring.

“I think he went to the game room with Robb.”

She called out a thanks before skipping away to the staircase, making her way to the game room.

She loves her family dearly. She would never wish to do anything to disgrace the Targaryen name. It had already suffered enough years ago when secret got out that Rhaegar…

Dany shook her head. From this moment on, she was leaving the past in the dust behind her.

“Robb! Where’s Jon?” Scanning the room from behind the half-open door, Dany peered at Robb who sat alone in front of the widescreen TV with a controller in hand.

“I think he went to the kitchen with Arya and Bran.”

Sighing, she let the door close behind her as she descended the steps and navigated her way to the kitchens.

She was more than ready to leave behind that awkward episode in the attic. She wanted to march forward and just have a fantastic summer with her family, with her best friend who was also strictly her nephew.

“Hey Arya, hey Bran! Have you seen Jon?” She leaned forward on the tall marble counter, catching a whiff of the kidney pies the younger Starks were inhaling.

“He was here just a second ago.”

Licking her fingers, Arya laughed. “He sensed that you were coming. For a small person, you’ve got awfully loud footsteps.”

Grinning, Dany stuck her pinkie into the pie and dabbed Arya’s cheek, spreading the paste over the side of her face.

“Hey, you missed! It goes in your mouth, not on my cheek.” Arya shook her head. “You gotta have more respect for faces.”

“You could try Jon’s room, it’s not hard to read his mind.” Bran suggested, giving Dany his usual mysterious stare.

Smiling, Dany muttered a quick ‘thank you’ and spun on her heel, leaving the weirder Starks kids behind her.

She descended below decks and approached the door at the end of the hall with quieter steps. Humming silently, she knocked on the door and patiently waited, clasping her hands behind her back.

She was going to make the best out of this summer.

Because afterwards, she was going to fly back to Mereen, continue with her studies, meet an Essosi gentleman and settle down in a far corner of the world where she won’t be able to bother anyone.

That way, everyone would be happy. She might not strictly be happy, but no one had to know.

The door opened and she looked up to the grey eyes of her best friend.

“Hey, Jon! I read this joke I’ve been dying to tell you-”

The door slammed shut in her face.

Her plan would’ve been perfect if only that one stupid boy would cooperate.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> So, I'll try to update this weekly :D
> 
> So this happens after the first chapter, in case I needed to clear that up. Going to jump back in time in the next one, probably!


	4. Leave You Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded this chapter yesterday, but someone commented that this site might have glitched and basically the chapter wasn't visible to unsubscribed readers (I suspected as much as well)
> 
> So I deleted the chapter and reposted it now in the hopes of fixing the problem? Sorry to the couple of people who left comments in the deleted one, know I've read them and want to thank you!
> 
> Carry on :)

**Dany - Past**

*

Dany smiled and hummed as she skipped over the grass towards the dark haired boy she was always excited to see. She knew he was having a rough week and so she spent the whole day coming up with jokes to crack at him.

_Why was the three headed dragon doomed after only one head was cut off?_

_Because it had ‘tumor’!_

She laughed aloud at the air.

“Jon!” She practically sang.

Jon jumped to a halt and blinked, as if he was abruptly plucked out of a trance. “Dany, hey.”

“I wanted to talk to you.” She beamed and tugged at the sleeve of his school blazer.

“Can it wait? I’m heading to fencing practice right now.”

“I’ll walk with you on the way there.”

“I don’t think that’s a good ide-”

“Hey blondie!”

Dany whirled around to face a group of rowdy looking boys gesturing at her.

“Be careful! The little wolf bastard there bites!” One of the boys laughed.

“I think he’s got rabies!”

“You wouldn’t want to get a mange either!”

“Maybe you could do us all a favor and put a leash on him.”

“Muzzle him too.”

“Lock him in the doggy cage.”

“Just throw him in the pound where he belongs!”

Shaking with rage, Dany marched a few steps forward and shouted, “You Freys are so full of shit!” She glanced over her shoulder to see that Jon had already walked several steps away towards the gym.

“I’ll remember this.” She glared at the group of boys before sprinting after Jon.

“Uuuuh, like, good luck with that, blondie!”

She ignored the howls of laughter fading behind her as she caught up to Jon’s quick paces and called out, “Hey!”

“Dany, I gotta get to practice. I’ll see you afterwards and I’ll talk to you then.”

“But wait-”

“Dany, I’ve told you several times already. You really shouldn’t be seen around me, all right? I don’t want you getting dragged through the mud too.”

“Let them say whatever they want about me. I don’t care.” Dany stumbled, nearly crashing into Jon who had abruptly stopped and turned around to face her.

“I care.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she took in the pained expression on Jon’s face. She opened her mouth and racked her brain for words of comfort and reassurance. Maybe tumor wasn’t the right word.

“Hey, check it out. It’s the bastard over there, the one Joffrey was talking about.”

She whipped her head to see a pair of guys a few meters away sneering at Jon.

“That’s him? He’s the reason Aegon didn’t grow up with a dad, right? Hells, I feel so bad for the guy.”

“Looks like even the Targaryen girl is siding with the bastard. What a bitch.”

“Hahaha. A wolf’s gotta have his bitch, right?”

“Jon, stop, don’t.” Dany nearly tripped as she unsuccessfully pulled at Jon’s blazer. She hurriedly stepped in front of him, pressing her back to him to keep him from advancing any closer to the two boys.

“Hey, you shitheads!” She shouted as she struggled against Jon’s weight. “That’s right, you better run, but I’m gonna get you after this! I’m gonna fucking watch you burn then feed your ashes to the worms!”

“Get away from us, crazy slut!”

“Daenerys.” There was an edge to Jon’s voice.

“Okay, okay.” She stepped away from him and raised her hands in surrender. “All right, I get it. I’ll leave you alone.”

Jon frowned at his shoes for a moment then turned away. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you later.”

Dany watched him walk the rest of the way to the gym, his head down and his hands tucked deep in his pockets while passersby sniggered and whispered behind their hands.

Her chest tightened at the sight. A week had passed and each day was the same. She would watch Jon face his sentence of a public walk of shame, his only crime being born into circumstances that were beyond his control.

She turned around and stomped to the school gates, her nails digging into her palms and her rage at stupid ignorant people making her mind fuzzy.

.

In her haste to exit the school premises, she barely registered the back of a teenage boy with silver hair before stumbling into him.

“Daenerys.”

She looked up to see the startled face of Aegon Targaryen, the boy who started this whole mess. Everything was swell right before he showed up.

“You.” She snarled through gritted teeth and clenched her fists.

Aegon blinked. “Um… Would you… like to hitch a ride?” He gestured to the black limo nearby with his thumb.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re offering me a ride on _my_ family’s car? Unbelievable.” Dany stormed past him, making sure to shove his side with her shoulder as she did so, then weaved through the growing crowd of people bustling in the streets of King’s Landing.

“Hey. I was just trying to be nice.”

She glanced over her shoulder to find Aegon navigating the crowd at her heels.

“Gods, stop pretending.” She rolled her eyes and walked faster, frustrated that her pursuer had much longer legs. “You’re such a fake piece of shit.”

“Wow. Didn’t realize you already had me all figured out.”

“What’s there to figure out? You’re a fucking life ruiner.”

“Wha-I’m the one who ruined someone’s life?”

Dany scoffed and mocked in a high-pitched voice, “Oh boohoo, my daddy never showed up to my soccer game. Maybe I’ll cross a few countries to spite this other kid because my daddy went to his games instead of mine.”

“Woah there.” There was a defensive tone in Aegon’s voice. “I don’t think you have any idea what it’s like to have your father walk out of your life.”

“No, I don’t. But thank the gods my father was _dragged_ out of my life when he was arrested for domestic violence, though.”

“I…” Aegon paused. “Daenerys, listen-”

“Go away! I don’t want to hear your stupid sob story.”

“I never meant to put Jon in-”

“Hey.” Dany whirled around to face Aegon and he stumbled. Even though he towered over her, he cowered backwards as she jabbed her finger at his chest.

“You. Are. _Not._ Fucking allowed to say his name.” She seethed as she grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her height, their noses nearly touching. “Got it?”

Aegon looked her up and down like she was crazy and snapped, “What are you, _in love_ with him or something?”

At the last moment, she realized she shouldn’t have widened her eyes or loosened her grip on Aegon’s collar. But it was too late as she saw comprehension dawn in Aegon’s eyes.

He raised his eyebrows and his jaw dropped slightly. “Seven. Fucking. Gods.”

“Young man!”

Dany and Aegon whipped their heads to an old lady dressed in the conservative robes of a septa. She had frozen mid step towards the direction of the big architectural wonder in the center of Kings Landing.

A place where self-proclaimed holy persons preached and made Dany gag. She wondered why no one had gone mad enough to blow the building to smithereens yet.

The Septa closed the short distance between them, enraged. “It is a vile sin to utter the holy names of our gods in vain. You must be taught a lesson.”

She grabbed each of their wrists in an iron grip. “And I assume this is your sister? What a foul position you place yourself in, and in front of the holy sept no less!”

She marched towards the sept, dragging Dany and Aegon along. “Brother and sister should never be in such close and intimate proximities! Do you know what kind of vile monstrosities result from relationships that emerge between kin? That is one thing our gods will never forgive!”

Dany fought against the septa’s firm hold, struggling to pry the eagle-like claws off her wrist.

“Come along, you two clearly need to be schooled about our faith and tru- Hey!”

She watched Aegon yank at the septa’s forearm, freeing her from the iron grip. She heard the septa’s furious shouts of nonsense falter behind them as she let Aegon lead her by the wrist through the busy street crowd of Kings Landing.

.

They reached the city’s central park when they stumbled to a stop and caught their breaths.

Hands on her knees, Dany panted and looked up to see Aegon in a similar pose. He then let himself fall forward and roll his back on the grass. Dany let herself fall to the ground as well and hugged her legs.

When her senses had calmed down, she looked at Aegon and cleared her throat. “Thanks.”

Aegon stared at the sky for a few moments.

“I don’t know if you’d believe me, but I didn’t intend for things to become like this.”

Dany took a deep breath and felt a bit of anger seep into her once more.

“You, an exact replica of my brother, just dropped in here out of nowhere. You thought people wouldn’t ask all kinds of questions?” She hugged her legs closer to her chest. “Jon couldn’t control the circumstances of his birth. Your presence has done nothing but make everyone in school talk shit about him.”

Aegon was silent for several seconds. He laced his fingers over his torso and began fiddling with his thumbs. “What are they calling him?”

Incredulous, she felt her brows shoot up on her face. “Do you seriously have to ask?”

Aegon scrunched his brows. “I… I didn’t think it would become such a big deal.”

Scoffing, she rolled her eyes. “Lyanna still hasn’t forgiven herself, you know. All those years ago, she retreated back to Winterfell and never thought she'd see Rhaegar again. She was all alone when she had Jon.”

“Daenerys, I never-”

“Jon was born a Snow.” She heard her voice raise slightly and she lowered it as she continued, “Rhaegar just wanted to give him a better life and a true name. But you just had to come along several years later to get your revenge, huh?”

She watched Aegon wince under her glare. “Well congratulations, you did it. You showed Jon his place.”

“That wasn’t my intention, I-” Aegon sighed deeply and sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees. “In Dorne, there are plenty of Sands. We don’t despise them there.”

“Then you decided that you didn’t belong in Dorne because you realized you were better than them, is that it?” Dany spat.

“No.” Aegon straightened his back and firmly held her gaze.

She pursed her lips and resisted the urge to swallow the lump that formed in her throat from the face Aegon was giving her. He appeared genuinely offended, a look that reminded her of Rhaegar in his rare moments of vulnerability.

Aegon broke their eye contact and stared at the grass.

“I have 8 bastard cousins from my uncle.”

Dany blinked and raised a brow, caught in surprise at the unexpected confession. She parted her lips to say something, but found she had no retort to spit out this time.

“They’re all welcome at home and I grew up with them, they’re like my sisters. I never considered them to be lesser than me just because they’re Sands.”

It was quiet for a moment and Dany was suddenly unsure if she wanted to continue this conversation. She knew herself and how stubborn she was, how she hated to be on the losing end of an argument.

After all...

Wasn't Aegon just another victim caught in the crossfire of someone else’s war? Wasn't he helpless against the circumstances he was born into? Wasn't he just like Jon in that very sense, then?

Was Dany wrong for labeling him as the villain of this story?

“Listen, I… I didn’t come here to make Jo- make… him… miserable…” Aegon gulped. “I don’t believe that a child is responsible for the sins of his father.”

Blinking, Dany took a good look at him. His tone and expression was nothing but sincere.

“That’s… quite a noble thing to say.” She said with a calm and collected voice.

“My uncle taught me that.” Aegon licked his lips then continued, “They call him the red viper. He’s fierce and unpredictable and he’s not like most people. He fearlessly claimed his bastard daughters, raised them, taught them to fight and search for happiness wherever they can find it.”

Dany watched Aegon smile slightly at the air in front of him. “He sounds like quite a man.” She offered.

“He is.” Aegon blinked and furrowed his brows. “He was there for his children. All of them. Even if they had different mothers.”

He twitched out of his daze then hastily added, “I think you would’ve liked him. He doesn’t look down on people for loving girls or boys or… or whoever they chose to love.”

Dany blushed. “You’re not disgusted at me?”

Aegon shrugged. “Not my place to judge. I only draw the line when other people get hurt.”

He contemplated with a frown before adding, “It’s always changing, who we’re supposed to love and who we’re not. The only thing that stays the same is that we want who we want.”

“You’ve got a lot of wisdom for a sophomore in high school.”

Aegon shook his head. “I just borrowed that line from my uncle’s lover. Ellaria Sand. She’s family to me too.”

“Another Sand?”

“I told you. No one blinks an eye about that in Dorne.”

Dany cleared her throat. “Your family sounds like an incredible bunch of people. And your country an incredible place... Why did you leave?”

“I thought you said you didn’t want to hear my stupid sob story.”

Aegon offered her a small teasing smile which she couldn’t make herself return. She was starting to feel the guilt of her ill-tempered accusations weigh heavily on her chest.

He hastily wiped the smile off his face and glanced down. “Not really in the mood to get into it anyway. You could just go ask Jon.” He widened his eyes, realizing his slip-up. “I mean-”

“It’s okay. I’m not gonna bite you for saying his name.”

Aegon stared at her. “Really? You looked just about ready to rip my head off my shoulders with your bare hands earlier.”

Dany laughed despite herself. She saw Aegon tentatively try on another smile.

“Honestly, I think I’m more scared of you than the sand snakes.” He huffed. “Even if they were armed with spears, I’d run towards their direction and that’s saying a lot.”

“Sand snakes?”

“My cousins. Pretty clever nickname, bastard daughters of the red viper.”

Dany smirked and nodded. “Ahh. You’re right to fear me more then. For what are mere snakes compared to a dragon?”

Aegon raised his brows at her. “I’m allowed to laugh, right?”

“You want to try?”

She watched Aegon press his lips in a hard line to hold back a laugh and she felt herself do the same. His face morphed into a funny expression and Dany burst into a fit of giggles. Aegon followed and laughed.

“Your face is so ugly!” Dany cried, leaning forward and hugging her stomach.

“Don’t insult yourself. You could pass off as my twin, only smaller and with one hell of a temper.”

“Are you trying to test my temper?”

“No, your highness. Wouldn’t want to anger the dragon.”

Dany shoved him on the shoulder and continued laughing.

They both fell quiet after a few moments, but all the tension had disappeared.

It was a pleasant surprise for Dany, being comfortable sitting with Aegon on the grass, feeling the cool breeze blow at her face and basking under the late afternoon sunlight.

She took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry about everything I said to you earlier. I was just trying to stick up for my family.”

Aegon simply nodded.

“Hey.” Dany lightly nudged his arm with her knuckle. “You _are_ family too, I guess.”

Aegon looked at her and nodded again slowly, this time with a small smile.

Dany grinned. “Don’t go thinking you’re off my hit list, though. I’m stupid enough for letting you live, what with the secret you’re going to carry after this!”

“I won’t tell a soul.” Aegon made a zipping gesture with his fingers over his mouth. “I’m just counting myself as the lucky nephew who dodged the attention of the beast. I do wonder if I should at least give a warning to poor Jon.”

Dany slapped Aegon’s arm, eliciting an ‘ow’ and a laugh from him. “You wish you were lucky! Don’t know what kind of idiot girl could stand your ugly face!”

“Watch who you’re calling ugly.” Aegon chuckled. “I can count 2 or 3 existing people who should be so offended right now, including the offender herself.” He briefly stuck out his tongue.

“Ugh. Not just ugly, but surprisingly, extremely annoying.” Dany raised a brow at him. “I’m starting to think you didn’t leave your country, but rather you were kicked out.”

“You got me.” Aegon raised his hands in defeat. “I wouldn’t dare think of taking one step closer to you anyway. I don’t want that septa running after me to cleanse my unholy ass.”

Dany laughed aloud. “Thank you for that idea! I’ll make sure to report you straight away for touching me inappropriately.”

“Lies! Just look who exactly suffered all this physical abuse in the past hour?” Aegon frowned and gestured at his rumpled collar and all over his arms.

Dany laughed and mustered the most menacing look she could manage. “There’s more where that came from.” She drawled out as she made to get on her feet.

Aegon widened his eyes and pursed his lips. He froze for a few tense seconds before bolting up and in the opposite direction.

Dany ran after him, hysterical with laughter.

In the past few days, she constantly imagined herself chasing Aegon Targaryen to beat the shit out of him, just like in that moment. She just didn’t imagine that she would find herself holding back on the kill. She didn’t imagine that her final blow would be jabbing tickles on his sides instead of punching him in the nose. She didn’t imagine that at the end of their brawl, they’d be walking side by side like good old friends.

**

They were walking along the line of shops and cafes now. The street lamps lit up as the sun faded from the horizon.

“Hey Dany!”

Dany turned around to see Robb waving at her from a short distance away. Beside him was a distracted Jon frowning at his feet. When Jon looked up and saw Dany, his eyes lit up and he offered a shy and hesitant smile.

Knowing he was feeling guilty over how they left things earlier, she beamed at them and waved back.

“Robb! Jon! You finished practice early!” She called out excitedly as they approached.

“Dany, I should go.”

She turned back to face Aegon. “What? No, wait.” She bit her lip and thought for a moment. “Why don’t you hang out with us?”

Aegon blinked at her. As he opened his mouth to reply, a voice spoke up.

“Oh. Hi… You’re Aegon, right? I don’t believe we’ve met. Robb Stark.” Robb held out his hand for a friendly handshake, a gesture that contradicted the expression on his face.

“Hi. Nice to meet you, Robb.” Aegon shook Robb’s hand. Dany noticed that his stoic mask had returned.

“Hey, Aegon.”

“Jon.”

Silence.

Dany kept herself from screaming at the tension building up. She had her share of that for the day and didn’t want to deal with any more of it.

“Hells, this atmosphere reeks of your masculine auras. It’s suffocating.” She waved at the air in front of her nose. “I know the perfect place to clear out the stench!”

Before anyone could protest, she hooked her arms around Jon’s and Aegon’s and barked an order at Robb to follow.

They ended up crowding into the corner of a pink hello-kitty café. Dany fit perfectly into her seat while her taller companions crouched over the table, all unable to hide their embarrassment at being the only boys in the premises.

Dany grinned giddily at the pink on their cheeks that nicely matched their surroundings.

She sighed happily. “Isn’t this nice?”

“You’re the only one enjoying this, I hope you know.” Robb muttered as he stirred his strawberry smoothie topped with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles.

“What do you mean?” Dany fluttered her eyelashes at Robb.

“We don’t exactly fit in here, Dany. And I feel like the girls who wait for me after practice are going to pounce on me at any moment. This is their territory!” Robb anxiously glanced over his shoulder.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sitting in a nice café with my friends sounds very enjoyable.”

“Friends? Are you sure that applies to everyone here? Ow-”

Dany withdrew her extended foot and hooked it back around the leg of her chair.

“Ah, my mistake. I meant to say _family_.” She smiled sweetly at Robb, leaning her elbows on the table and propping her chin on top of her laced fingers.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Jon at her side studying her with a puzzled look.

She could tell he was trying to figure out what had transpired between her and Aegon earlier and why she insisted on inviting him to hang out.

Jon cleared his throat and turned to Aegon. “How are the accommodations at The Red Keep towers? I hope the moving’s working out well. You know who to call if you need anything else.”

Aegon blinked and leaned back on his chair. “Everything’s going smoothly, thanks.”

Jon nodded. “We’re already more than halfway past the semester, and you just got through your first week. I could give you copies of my notes, if you need.” He smiled. “Top grade quality with highlights, summaries and impeccable penmanship. I usually ask for a small fee, but I’ll throw in the first few copies free for you.”

“Gods Jon, your nerd is showing. Do you mind?”

“Gods Robb, your unpaid tabs are piling up. Do _you_ mind?”

Dany watched a tentative smile creep on Aegon’s mouth and her heart sang with delight. She laughed out loud, making her cheeks hurt. From her squinted vision, she could see Robb giving her a weird stare and Jon grinning at her from ear to ear.

“What’s so funny?”

“I just remembered this joke I thought of this morning.”

Robb groaned and beckoned at her with his hands. “All right, spit it out. Let’s rip off the proverbial band-aid nice and quick.”

Dany straightened her face and leaned forward on the table, clasping her hands together. “Why was the three headed dragon doomed after only one head was cut off?”

She grinned and bit her lip as she looked at her companions in the eye one by one.

“Because it had” Dany raised up two fingers like a peace-sign. “ _tu-mor!_ ”

She wiggled her brows and opened her mouth in a wide grin. She shifted her glance from Robb’s flared nostrils and rolled back eyes, to Aegon’s tight lipped smile and shaking head, and finally to Jon’s face beaming with pride.

“Dragons are long gone though. But I think I know how to bring one back.” Jon gestured at Aegon with his thumb. “Put this guy through medical school and what do we get?”

He paused. “A _Dr.Aegon_.”

Dany laughed and gave Jon an enthusiastic high-five.

“Gods, too many flaws in that one. And who pronounces dragon as dr-ae-gon? Tsk-tsk.” Aegon shook his head. “Maybe insulting you would revive a dragon. All we have to do is-” He raised a brow. “DragJon.”

There was a collective banging on the table and ‘AAAAAH’s and laughter as Dany and Jon high-fived Aegon.

“Hells, I can’t believe I’m sitting with a bunch of dorks.” Robb gave each of them a disapproving stare, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dany stretched up to look over Robb’s shoulder and dramatically gasped. “Is that the Robb Stark fan club I see? I bet they would be thrilled to have you sit with them!”

She abruptly stood up, pushing her chair back noisily as she called out, “Ladies, guess who’s here! It’s Ro-”

Dany was suddenly forced back on her seat, a bear grasp holding her in place. Her stomach hurt from laughter as she struggled to pry Robb’s hand from her mouth, muffling her giggles. She wriggled from the arm wrapped around her and pressed a finger to her lips, a promise that she wasn’t going to try to blow Robb’s cover again.

They came up with a new game which they called ‘How far can Robb’s eyeballs roll back in his head’. After a few more punny rounds, Dany gasped as she spotted a basket on the shelf beside their table and reached for it.

“Look! They have hello-kitty headbands for the customers to wear!” She excitedly donned the big fluffy cat ears and beamed at the boys surrounding her. “Isn’t it adorable? Care to put one on?” Dany took another headband from the basket and held it out in front of Robb.

“Honestly.” Robbed gagged and pushed back the item he found so repulsive. “I went through so much trouble to leave Winterfell so that I could get away from being Sansa’s girly play thing. I totally forgot to account for you being here.”

“Coward.” Dany stuck her tongue at him. She moved her arms to offer the cat ears to Aegon.

“No thanks. Don’t know whose bodily organisms I’d get all over my head if I put that on.”

Dany shrugged and turned to Jon.

Jon gave her a big toothless grin that made his eyes disappear and he wordlessly bowed towards her, offering his head. Dany happily crowned him with the accessory that matched her own. He straightened up and smiled at her, looking adorable with the pink fluffy ears peaking up from his dark curls.

Aegon raised a fist to his mouth and coughed.

“So pure? What did you say just now?” Robb squinted at Aegon with one eye.

“Didn’t say anything.” Aegon blinked at him innocently. “Careful now, I think we played the game too hard and maybe your eardrums rolled into your head as well.”

“Ha-ha. _You_ be careful, you’re still my least favorite Targaryen.”

“You flatter me.” Aegon grinned and splayed a hand over his heart. “I didn’t know I even made it to your list of favorites.”

Robb laughed and looked at Jon and Dany. “You guys better watch out, you’ve got competition for your ranks in my list.”

“It’s okay, he can have my rank. You’re my least favorite Stark anyway.” Dany made a face at Robb.

“Gods Dany, give me one of those ear things! I’m not becoming roasted meat for your pets tonight.”

“Holy shit, that didn’t occur to me until now.” Aegon chimed in and hastily scrambled over the table to reach for a headband as well.

Clad in their matching fluffy cat ears, huddled in the corner of a pink café buzzing with girlish voices, the friends chatted and laughed the evening away.

Dany glanced at Jon and felt her insides tingle with warmth. It had been a rough week for him and she knew he preferred to keep quiet and carry his burdens by himself. The look of happiness he had now was the look that one might have for having their greatest wish granted to them. He was never one to voice out what he wanted and it frustrated Dany to make guesses.

Right now, it looked like all his hopes and prayers had been answered and he couldn’t be happier. That made Dany’s heart full. She uttered a silent wish for herself as she gazed at Jon’s smiling face.

_Please don’t make me leave you alone again._

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Image source: ice-and-fire-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> Please let me know if the jokes were yay or nay hahaha.
> 
> So the mention of Aegon in the previous chapter was meant to confuse ya'll. I promise in this story, no one is consciously trying to be the villain (except Joffrey who has no soul). This is essentially a story about flawed characters dealing with the norms of society. :)
> 
> I've finally mapped out part 1 of this thing and it's going to span 15 chapters, most likely!
> 
> I know some people are itching to know what's going on in Jon's head in the present. If everything goes according to plan, we'll see it in the next update ;D
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Eyes and Ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update because I'm going away for the holiday (where I'm from) ~

**Jon - Present**

*

Jon fixed his eyes on the computer screen in front of him, hardly noticing the sibling quarrel in the background.

Sansa was lying on the couch, struggling to shove off Robb who leaned his back over her stomach. He laughed as he dangled a book out of Sansa’s reach.

Jon perked up and called out over the computer. “Hey Robb! Look who’s online for the first time since high school graduation.”

Robb dumped the book on Sansa’s annoyed face and walked over to the table.

“No way! Call, call, call” He pulled up a chair next to Jon and sat.

Jon clicked the video call button beside Aegon Targaryen’s name. He and Robb watched the pixelated image on the screen gradually take the form of a young adult wearing a tank top, his silver hair tied back in a ponytail.

Jon waved at the camera. “Hey iguana.”

“Yo eggnog.” Robb chimed in.

“Igneous.”

“Baygon.”

“’Sup...” Aegon paused, frowning. “Gods why do your names have to be so normal. Daenerys there? Get her so I can call her diarrhea.”

“You sure you wanna do that?”

“I’m thousands of miles away, this is the perfect chance.”

“Uh-uh. We're the ones within range so it’s our asses that’ll get barbecued.”

“That’s the plan.” Aegon wiggled his brows and rubbed his palms together.

Robb laughed. “Hey it’s been so long. You still traveling with that uncle of yours?”

“Stark! Could it be that you actually miss me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Just curious whether it was the _Others_ up north that got ya, or the basilisks in the Yi Ti jungles.”

Aegon wiped at his fake tears. “Someone’s been thinking about my safety a lot.”

“Someone’s been thinking about your death a lot.”

“Where are you now?” Jon interjected.

“Back in Sunspear. And to answer your question, yeah I'm still traveling with uncle Oberyn. We leave for the east again in a week.”

“Look at our big boy becoming quite the traveler!”

“It's a big and beautiful world!” Aegon propped his chin on top of his fist and put on his most brooding face. “Most of us live and die in the same corner we were born and never get to see any of it. I don't want to be most of us.”

“You’re quoting your uncle again, aren’t you?”

“Obviously.” Robb gestured at the screen with his thumb. “Guy’s too dumb to come up with anything on his own.”

Jon chuckled. “And hey what’s with the rush? You’re only what, 21?”

Aegon shrugged. “Gotta make every day count. I mean, there’s an alternate timeline where I never even made it past infancy, you know?!”

Jon laughed at the hysterical look on Aegon’s face.

“Who are you talking to?” Sansa closed her book and sat up on the couch.

“Just a moron.” Jon shook his head.

“A shitbag” Robb added.

“What was that lovely voice I heard? Approach, if you would be so kind my lady, so that I may gaze upon the face which I suspect is the most beautiful in all of the land.”

Curious, Sansa rose from her seat and walked to the table. Leaning over the back of Robb’s chair, she peeked at the desktop screen.

“My lady, you are a sight to behold indeed! My name is Aegon. And what may I call you?”

“Sansa.”

“Sansa! The Stark lady I’ve only ever known by name. A shame I've only made your acquaintance now, your evil brother never bothered to introduce us before.”

“The only time you two were ever in the same proximity was in high school grad. No way were we going anywhere near you and the nest of vipers you call family!”

Sansa chuckled. “I didn't know you were friendly with these two. They were happily dissing you the other day.”

“The fuck you jerks? Have you been making me look bad to the ladies behind my back all this time?”

“You dare question our stark honor? We speak only the truth.”

“Some brother you are. And Robb, hells, you're already hogging all the girls. Stop being so greedy.”

“Thought you liked boys.”

“Why limit myself?”

“Dornish.” Robb scoffed, shaking his head. “Look who’s the greedy one.”

Sansa laughed. “You’re not as bad as they’re always saying, Aegon.”

“Don’t listen to whatever lies they told you, my lady.”

“Well, before they told me anything, I thought you were like a cute prince.”

“If it pleases you my lady, I’ll be your prince if you’ll be my princess.”

“Gods! Stop right there.” Robb stood up, blocking Sansa’s view of the screen. “Don’t even wanna imagine this guy potentially becoming my brother in law. Get outta here, Sansa!” He shooed at his sister.

Sansa shot Robb a nasty glare before stretching around him and looking straight into the camera. “I’ll take you up on your offer, my prince, and I’ll expect to hear from you. Soon.”

“Count on it, my princess.” Aegon winked.

Robb sat back on his chair as Sansa made to leave the room. When they heard the door close, Aegon spoke up.

“You insult me incredibly so, Robb Stark. How bad could it be to be related to a Targaryen?”

“Careful with your answer.” Jon turned to look Robb in the eye. “We’re on Targ property, need I remind you.”

Robb reached out a hand to clap Jon on the back. “This one’s fine! He’s part wolf. You,” He pointed at the screen. “You’re not even a snake, more like a worm.”

Aegon shook his head. “Never thought you’d be into all that ‘personality according to your family sign’ thing.”

“Didn’t you know? Robb completed a bunch of those Facebook quizzes, you can see all his scores and results on his timeline.”

“Yeah I saw that! Hold on, I just scrolled past one.” Aegon grazed his tongue between his teeth as his eyes glanced to the side of his screen. “Wow Robb, your wolf sigil makes you a great love match to some bridge, whatever the hell that means.”

“The fuck?” Jon laughed.

Aegon raised a pointer finger at them. “Your advice says, fail to make the crossing and only red awaits you. Huh?”

“Sounds like the red of hot steamy passion.” Robb smirked and leaned his elbows on the table.

“More like the red of an angry mob.”

“The red of blood and death!”

“Robb, you have to stay away from bridges from now on.”

“Else, you’ll be crossing to the other side.”

Jon laughed and gave Aegon a virtual high five.

Rolling his eyes, Robb scoffed. “It’s just a meaningless, baseless horoscope from a scam site anyway. The internet is full of bullshit people would be stupid to believe.”

“U-huh.” Aegon leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Tell that to the Lannisters.”

Jon frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Is this about that whole nasty brother-sister incest scandal?” Robb violently shuddered. “Ugh. No wonder Joffrey’s all fucked up.”

_Oh. That._

Jon tensed, clasping his hands together tightly until his knuckles turned white.

“Yeah, well, get this. The Lannisters are awfully rich and powerful, right? They seem untouchable and everyone hates them. My family does more than anyone, you'd think they'd hatched a living dragon the way they discuss the scandal.” Aegon shook his head. “Have you heard of the Faceless Men?”

“Yeah, the anonymous hacker-activist group?”

“That’s the one. They’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, it’s pretty fucking scary. It’s like being watched by the three-eyed raven.”

“You still believe in magic and myths?”

“Hey, I’ve been to some pretty strange places in the past years, it’s not a far-off possibility.” Aegon shrugged. “Anyway, the Faceless Men were the ones who targeted the Lannisters and ruined them, all with just a type on a keyboard and the internet. That's pretty fucking impressive, considering their high security measures. And to think the hackers were able to get their hands on private videos."

“So that's what all those weird pop-up ads were about before the news broke out. Especially all those weird warnings with the 'Lannisters, pay your debts.' bit.”

“Yeah. Gods. I hear now the Lannister stocks are crashing and the Westerlands’ citizens are demanding the mayor to resign.”

“Duh.” Robb gagged. “Who in their right mind would want to support a family who fucks their kin?”

Jon cleared his throat. “Now that I think about it, there was also that Meryn Trant dickhead a few months ago.”

“Oh man, that sick-ass pedophile. The Faceless Men were responsible for exposing him too.”

“The online backlash for that scumbag was just brutal.”

“Glad he’s dead.”

“Quite a horrible way to die, though. Just found dead in his cell with multiple stabs in the chest and eyes.”

“His inmates’ doing, right?”

“That’s the public story, at least. Don’t really care, I think everyone in the world would’ve wanted to kill him themselves.”

“It’s pretty crazy. You can go viral overnight and suddenly every single person knows who you are and wants to slit your throat.”

“That’s fucking true. Damn. Just… Whoever those Faceless Men are, sure hope I don’t end up on their list.”

“The matter Jon, got a dark sinister secret of your own you don’t want dragged out in the open?”

Perplexed, Jon could only turn to Robb and stare at him.

“EGGHEAD!”

He whipped his head back to the screen to catch Aegon flinching, crouching forward and peeking over his shoulder with one eye open.

“Are you talking to your stupid mutt friends in Kings Landing? Don’t tell me you’re talking to your half-brother. I’m already at my wits’ end just listening to one stupid Targaryen in this house! Get your ass over here, you’re making everyone wait to eat!”

Aegon turned back to look at the camera and pointed over his shoulder. “That was the sister. Dragon and snake, awful combination that one. I gotta go, talk to you jerks later. Make sure to say hi to diarrhea for me!”

Aegon gave one final wave at them before ending the call.

Robb sat back on his seat. “Gods. Speaking of sisters. I have to go make sure Sansa doesn’t sneak into my room and stuff shit inside my bed. Damn it, she got that idea from Arya.”

He hastily got up and sprinted to the door. Before closing it behind him, he looked over his shoulder to Jon.

“Oh, and if she tells Dany about the diarrhea name, I’m gonna pin all the blame on you, so you better run for your life as well. What I tell ya about having sisters?” Robb laughed and shut the door behind him, leaving Jon alone.

Robb was right. He better run for his life. Dany was already furious with him the way things were.

He would’ve laughed at the whole situation. Aegon and Robb cowering at the fury of their sisters.

But what of the fury of the girl who might as well have been _his_ sister?

If only it was as simple as a little sibling quarrel. It was complicated. The whole sibling factor complicated everything.

He hurried out of the room and ran below decks.

_Gods. Please don’t bump into her._

He scanned the empty corridor before rushing to the end corner.

_Almost safe._

He swung the door of his chambers open and stepped inside, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed.

_Thank the gods._

Sighing, he turned his head to the interior of his room only to lock eyes with a pair of angry violet eyes. He froze. Dany was leaning against the wall by the doorway, looking ready to pounce.

_Oh. Fuck._

He spun on his heel, but before he could dash down the hallway, he felt his shirt being yanked violently backwards. He stumbled into the room and watched Dany shut the door, trapping him like a ravenous predator would its dinner.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Dany snarled through gritted teeth.

He cleared his throat.

_Yes._

He pressed his lips in a hard line and silently took a step backward.

“I wanted to apologize to you!” She was half-shouting, marching towards him. “I don’t know what I did to make you look so sick at the sight of me.”

Her face was contorted with anger and frustration, her hair was a disheveled mess. She looked ready to kill a man.

_Seven hells. How the fuck are you so beautiful?_

He gulped.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry, but you won’t even let me near you!” She was inching too close to him for comfort.

He nearly tripped as he tried to back away faster.

“You choose the farthest seat from me at meal times. You disappear every time I walk into the room. You make some of the dumbest fucking excuses I’ve ever heard to escape from me.”

He flinched as his back hit the wall. There was nowhere left for him to run or hide.

“Look at you! You can’t even stand me being this close to you.”

He glanced down at her fiery glare.

“You hurt me. You have no idea what you mean to me. You won’t look at me, you won’t talk to me!”

She shoved at his chest.

_Ow._

“Were you planning on ignoring me the whole summer? You know I’m here for only a couple of weeks before I fly out again to Mereen. But you can’t wait for that, can you? Can’t wait to finally be rid of me!” 

She was pounding her fists on his chest.

He stupidly stared down at her, wondering how so much rage could be contained in such a petite form.

_Ow. Ow. So adorable. Ow._

He grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to his chest.

“Am I that hideous?” She seethed as she thrashed against his grip. “Am I that disgusting to you? You’re my best friend and my best friend won’t fucking speak to me!”

He turned them around, pinning her against the wall, rendering her body motionless against his.

“Say something, you fucking jerk, you stupid boy.” She spat, wriggling against him.

He said nothing but pressed her harder against the wall.

_I am a fucking jerk. I am a stupid boy. I’m sorry._

“I thought you were my best friend. I feel like you hate me all of a sudden.”

He felt her weaken in his hold and saw tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.

_Oh no. Don’t._

“What did I do? Why won’t you say anything to me?” She surrendered to her tears and let the back of her head thud against the wall.

His heart melted at the sight.

Loosening his grasp, he gazed at her fists pressed against his chest, at her mouth mere inches from his, then at her big eyes bright with tears.

Running out of restraint, he let go of her wrists and slid his hands up her jaw, cupping her cheeks with his palms. 

Wiping the tears streaming down her face with his thumbs, he cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

_Strong, beautiful Daenerys. Please,_

“Don’t cry.”

His mind went fuzzy, already intoxicated just by her scent, her warmth seeping into his skin. Lightheaded, he bent downward to press his lips to her forehead and then to each of her eyelids.

He felt her melt in his hold.

_I’m in love with you._

“I could never hate you.”

Her body stiffened against him.

“Then why couldn’t you face me?” She growled. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

_Because I’m afraid._

Heart racing, he hovered his mouth dangerously close over hers.

Oh, how he’d dreamed of a moment like this, pressing his body against hers, holding her face in his hands, kissing away the tears in her eyes.

What he might’ve done the night he had fallen in love.

“I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.”

Without waiting for her to ask what he meant, he closed the remaining distance between their mouths and kissed her.

He merely pressed his lips down, hard, and inhaled deeply before pulling back.

_Shit._

He tore himself away from her and watched her simply gape at him, stupefied. He shouldn’t have done that.

Silver hair and violet eyes.

It pained him to tear his gaze away from his image of love and beauty.

_Leave. Leave. Leave._

He willed himself out the door, feeling sick to his stomach.

She’s his father’s sister. He could never be with her.

And if he touched her, the world would only hurt her.

_You can never make her happy._

He ran.

And he felt his heart break for the hundredth time.

*

The enormous 5 level luxury yacht was still too small to hide from her after all. The stretch of time before they docked in the evening was still too long before he could run off somewhere she couldn’t find him.

The thought of swimming the rest of the way to land crossed his mind, but ever since he was young, he’s had an irrational fear of dead men lurking in deep waters waiting to drown him.

He descended to the lowest story of the boat, quietly stalking to the farthest and most inconspicuous room. It was the last place someone would think to look for anyone.

He slipped inside.

Eyes shut, he pressed his back to the door and heaved a sigh.

It was all his fault. If only he hadn’t grabbed her wrist when he found her peering at him from above the trunk.

He had nearly fallen asleep that moment, fallen into dreaming of her for the thousandth time, dreaming of holding her, kissing her and… _other things._

He thought he was still dreaming when she closed the trunk cover on top of them, but when he felt her hair cascade around his face and her labored breaths blow on his cheek, he knew he was in trouble.

He’d waited a whole year to see her again, to simply watch her smile and listen to her laugh in front of him. Now he couldn’t even face her, his self-restraint was weaker than he thought.

Kissing her was proof of that.

He opened his eyes and jumped, finally taking in where and what he had just walked into.

Light from multiple monitors, now blank, glared at him from the other end of the room. In the center of the long desk was a laptop with a video of a woman projected on the screen. In front of the laptop, silently staring at him with his mysterious gaze, was Bran.

“Sorry Bran, didn’t mean to intrude.” He turned around and reached for the knob.

Who knew Bran was the type to shut himself alone in a dark room to watch who-knows-what.

Kids grow up so fast.

When he swung the door open, he jumped again in surprise at Arya blankly staring at him, her arms crossed over her chest.

She walked inside the room, prompting Jon to step backwards like a trapped animal for the second time that day.

“What are you doing down here?”

Jon blinked. “I… I just wanted to be alone.”

He looked over his shoulder at Bran, catching a closer glimpse of the woman on the screen before the laptop lid was abruptly shut.

_Lannister gold hair._

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I should go now.” He frantically attempted to sidestep Arya, who was quicker on her feet than he was.

Maybe he shouldn’t have recommended that Braavosi fighting master to Uncle Ned all those years ago.

Arya inched closer to him. “You know too much now.”

_Lannister scandal._

He froze in place, sandwiched between the two Starks. “I know nothing.”

_Three eyed raven._

Arya shook her head. “You know something.”

_Faceless Men._

He gulped.

Gods, what the fuck did he just walk into and why was he so fucking easy to corner.

_Whoever those Faceless Men are, sure hope I don’t end up on their list._

How did Jon always manage to jinx himself just by opening his stupid mouth?

He thought between being inside this room with his murderous looking cousins, and then being outside this room exposed to his murderous looking aunt.

Either way, it was his own kin that was going to end him. Oddly enough, it felt fitting. He’d had strange nightmares in the past where he was killed by men he called his own brothers. He shuddered at the memories.

As he muttered a silent prayer to the gods and resigned himself to his fate, he saw a grin break across Arya’s face before she burst into a fit of laughter.

“You look so scared for your life!”

He blinked at her, still slightly apprehensive. “Shouldn’t I be?”

“Yes and no. We’re not your enemies.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I wasn’t even here and I won’t say a thing. I promise.”

“As honorable as you are to your word, I wouldn’t really count on that. Knowing you as someone who blushes when he tells a lie.”

Jon merely pursed his lips and felt his cheeks flush.

“You’re going to keep quiet about this dark secret of ours,” Arya gave him a pointed look. “And we’re going to keep quiet about that dark secret of yours.”

Jon was never as much good at keeping a straight face as everyone else and dammit it was about time he did something about that.

Eyes wide and mouth ajar, he cleared his throat and choked out, “What are you talking about?”

Arya merely arched a brow at him. “The walls have eyes and ears. Also, you’ve been blushing like an idiot and crouching behind our backs each time she walks by.”

“You don’t have to worry, Jon.”

He turned around to face Bran who had been quiet up to now.

“You’re a good person. We only go after bad people.”

_The Lannisters. Ruined._

_Meryn Trant. Dead._

_Petyr Baelish. Illyn Payne. Gregor Clegane. Countless other names. Ruined_ and _dead._

He shifted glances between Arya and Bran, still uncertain.

Damn. Kids grow up so fucking fast. Also, these kids aren’t normal.

When he’d heard the news years ago that Arya disappeared, then Bran, kidnapped or run away or both, he wanted nothing more than to drop his duties and search for them himself.

They came back completely different people, but all that mattered was that they were alive and safe.

“The world is full of injustice.” Arya smiled bitterly. “Just be careful. We’re not the only ones watching and listening.”

Jon simply nodded and frowned at his feet.

Daenerys Targaryen in his arms, her lips on his, was a fantasy that should forever remain in his dreams. Turning it into something real, in this society, in this time, in this world, was a dangerous thing. He was going to protect her no matter what it took, and staying away from her was a small price to pay.

No more touching.

No more talking.

_The walls have eyes and ears._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behind the scenes:  
> Arya: you think they’re gonna fuck  
> Bran: *hacks into government run servers  
> Bran: lmao yeah  
> *  
>   
> Okay, so I've been inserting a lot of references to GoT and I wondered if some would have difficulty understanding/catching them. Just ask away and I'll try my best to clear them up!
> 
> Really don't want to spoil the fun so I won't be answering specific questions about the future of this fic :)
> 
> Also, the next chapter is still just a bunch of notes and unrefined dialogue and I'm having a hard time figuring it out. So apologies in advance if it doesn't come out on time.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Do I like you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song – I wanna be yours by Arctic Monkeys (recommend listening first)
> 
> First off, just want to acknowledge that this isn’t the first fic to name a band after a particular organization. This chapter was so hard to write, but it’s longer than usual and hope that’s a good thing.

**Jon - Past**

*

“The Nights watch?” 

Robb’s voice cut through the music played by the band up ahead.

“Your band is called the Night’s Watch? That’s just plain dorky.” He stuffed the flyer in his pocket and shuffled on his feet, gazing to the outdoor stage in the distance which was flocked by a growing crowd.

“How could you say that?” Jon looked up from his perch on the picnic table, the lyric sheet he held falling onto his lap. “The Night’s Watch was a legendary order sworn to protect the realm! They were brave men.”

“U-huh, brave men who were either too fat or too scrawny to be of any actual use in their households.” Robb briefly glanced at Jon’s bandmates who were dawdling at the nearby benches. “No wonder they were sent to the edge of the world, far from civilization.”

Jon rolled his eyes. “Right, we forget that you’re too good for us, Robb Stark. I’d grovel at your feet and kiss the ground you walk on, but too bad you’re no king.”

“Oh, you’ll eat your words soon enough. We’ll be juniors in the new school year, which means prom season, which means I’ll be prom king.” Smirking, Robb straightened his collar before combing his fingers through his hair. “Better start applying floor wax on your mouth, Jon. You’ll be kissing a lot of dirty floors after my coronation.”

“This guy is so full of himself.”

Jon glanced to his side where Aegon sat, shaking his head at Robb.

“What makes you think you have any chance at winning while _I’m_ around?”

Robb arched a brow at Aegon. “I’ve got a growing legion of fan girls, in case you haven’t noticed.” 

“Huh. A fraction of half the population. Unlucky for you, I’m popular with a wider demographic.”

“Yeah, right. Look who’s full of himself. Some dude looks at you weird and you think he’s into you that way?” Robb shuddered, barely containing his distaste. “He probably just had the urge to punch your face.”

“Oh, he _definitely_ had an urge, of sorts. No use trying to convince you, though. Always suspected Northerners had a wonky gay-dar.”

“Can you both just stop?” Jon straightened the lyric sheet in front of him. “Hells, I think either of you entitled pricks would make a shitty king. Thank the gods it’s just a stupid title without any actual power behind it.”

“Well, someone’s grumpy that he doesn’t have any backers to his claim.”

Jon gagged, sticking out his tongue. “Don’t want to be prom king or a king of any sorts. But after tonight’s performance, your followers will know better to make the switch.”

He grinned, indulging himself a moment of arrogance. He’d been practicing with his band religiously for weeks.

“Don’t take it too hard when your numbers dive drastically.” He gave Robb a wink, though it was technically more of a blink.

“I can imagine.” Robb raised his knuckles to his mouth, biting his fingernails in mock nervousness. “Oh, the shameful fact that we’re related to you would send everyone running the opposite direction!”

Jon kicked at Robb, who easily jumped out of reach and laughed. “Could I possibly ask for a more supportive cousin?” He shook his head.

“Hey, sure, being in a band is pretty cool.” Aegon placed a thoughtful finger to his chin. “But you’d have to have some serious talent to pull this off. I mean, you can’t magically turn into a musician just because your father can sing.”

Jon raised his brow at him. “ _My_ father?”

“Ahem. _Our_ father. Papa. Daddy. Biological male parent.” Aegon shrugged, smirking. “Still getting used to it.”

Jon grinned widely at his half-brother. They already shed off all the awkwardness since their first encounter with each other months ago, but their father and sons dynamic with Rhaegar was still a work in progress.

“Jon!”

He caught a glimpse of a long silver braid before a body rammed into his side and arms wrapped around his torso in a tight hug.

“Dashed out of school as soon as I could. That final exam for religious studies was just torturous.” Dany stuck out her tongue in disgust. “Anyway, I’m so excited to watch your performance later!”

He smiled at her beaming face and wrapped an arm around her shoulder before squinting at Robb and Aegon. “Glad _some_ family is genuinely supportive and excited for me.”

“Congratulations, you finally reached a milestone and raised your fan club numbers from zero to one! Give it a couple more years, maybe you’ll have enough to dream of actually catching up to me.” Robb laughed, fisting his hands on his hips.

“Oh Robb,” Dany glared at him. “Sometimes I worry that over-inflated ego of yours will make your head explode. I’ll look for a suitable replacement for you though, maybe a beast’s head, and I’ll stitch it nicely onto your neck myself.”

“Listen, good kind sweet Dany, I was just kidding.” Robb bowed apologetically as he tentatively inched towards Dany. “I _know_ for a fact that Jon here will rock the stage so hard, all the ladies will be swooning over him afterwards!” He carefully stretched out a hand to pat her head before jumping back as Dany lunged at him.

“No? No, I meant running! The ladies will be running from him afterwards!” Robb yelled as Dany dashed after him. “What do you want me to say? Please spare my head!”

Jon watched Robb, his tall and built sparring partner, being fiercely chased down by the raging ball of fury that was Dany. He laughed at the sight.

He heard Aegon snort beside him.

“Can’t believe Robb’s known you guys way longer, and _still_ doesn’t know the right choice of words to avoid getting his ass kicked.”

He raised his brows and turned to the much tamer platinum blonde. “Are you telling me you already figured out the secrets to evade Dany’s temper?”

Aegon merely gave him a full body eye-sweep, smirking but saying nothing.

“Hey, important rule between brothers? Always have each other’s backs.” He elbowed Aegon’s side, chuckling. “Come on, what’s the life-saving solution?”

Aegon shrugged. “I’ve pledged not to speak about it. The only other advice I can offer is put as much distance between yourself and the beastly dragon. Exactly what I’ll be doing in two days.” He leaned back against the table, his lips parting to let out a relieved sigh.

“Oh, that’s right.” Jon frowned at him. “Hey, it’s a shame you can’t stick around a little longer to join the traditional summer fun with the family. Robb’s a douche but his siblings are great, I’m sure you’d love them.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I mean, don’t you think it’s still too awkward for your mother’s side of the family to see me around?”

He gave Aegon a sympathetic smile. “You’re still a Targaryen.”

Aegon shook his head. “I’m still a Martell. Don’t worry about it, I bet Rhaenys and my cousins miss me so bad, it’d be a crime to deprive them the grace of my presence any longer.”

“Someday in the future, definitely.” He insisted. “You’re part of the family and we’d be glad to have you. Tomorrow’s your last day, right? Let’s hang out, you don’t want to miss out on a summer day in King’s Landing.”

Jon smiled.

Summer was easily everyone’s favorite time of the year. The whole of Westeros threw celebrations at the start of the season to commemorate the legendary Night King’s defeat thousands of years ago.

Even though Jon grew skeptical at the credibility of the tale since he was 10, he kept his doubts to himself. After all, who could complain at all the parties and merriment that that piece of history brought about?

“The height of the festivities last only the first few weeks. We so have to check out the carnival and try the ‘Fall from the Wall’.” He was rambling in excitement. “Basically you’ll be standing on a crumbling platform and avoid getting knocked down by the fire-breathing dragon. Lucky we can try all the adult rides now. Your last day is going to be awesome!” 

“I’m game, sounds like a hell of a great time.” Aegon chuckled. “Oh, good kind sweet Jon, it’s a wonder that more girls haven’t noticed you yet.” He patted the top of Jon’s hair.

_More girls?_

He raised a brow at Aegon. “Hey, what do you know? Do I have a secret admirer or something?”

“Sounds like you’re interested.”

“Why else do you think I joined a band?”

“For the musical arts?”

“For getting the attention of a girl!” Jon propped his chin on top of his fist and sighed into the air with a stupid grin.

“Will just about any girl do?” Aegon scrunched up his face in thought. “An easy choice would be your mother. Or Dany.”

Jon had to laugh at that. “They’ve been stuck with me since I was a little brat, they have no choice but to like me.” He looked down on his lap and straightened his expression, serious now. “Kidding aside, I don’t know. I was hoping to meet a girl who can look at me as I am now, and decide I’m worth giving a shot at first glance, I guess?”

“Hmm. Sounds fleeting.”

“You got a PhD on giving love advice or something?”

“I’ve got an uncle notorious for fleeting romances, and leaving a trail of lovechildren behind him, if that’s anything.”

Jon looked at Aegon. “Sounds like your family grows bigger by the second. I’m so jealous.”

“Don’t be. It’s gotten so crowded, look, I had to move my room to the other side of the continent!”

Grinning, he shook his head. “You and Robb really take your big families for granted. Wasn’t much fun growing up in a big house with no one to play with, you know.”

“Hush, Jon, hush, it’s okay. Big brother is here now.” Aegon patted his cheek reassuringly.

He laughed and swatted Aegon’s hand away. “Thanks. I mean it. You and Robb and Dany are the siblings I always wished for. I love you guys so much!”

“Oh no, don’t get all gooey and sentimental on me. I’m only gone until the next school year starts you know.”

“What can I say! Family is the most important thing to me. I know we should be thinking about our future careers and life ambitions at this point in time, but all I can think of is starting my _own_ family.”

Aegon chuckled. “I can see it now. 20-something nephews and nieces wreaking havoc in King’s Landing. Can’t believe I’ll have to pack my bags again and move my room to, I don’t know, somewhere in Essos this time.”

“Don’t worry, there’s no rush yet. Still searching for the love of my life.”

Aegon laughed. “What a lover boy. Guess I need to keep an eye out so I know when to start packing.” He blinked at him. “What am I looking out for, exactly?”

Oh, Aegon was sly.

Jon smirked at his half-brother who made himself seemingly disinterested in his love life, though non-existent as of yet.

Smiling, he sighed. “Someone who wants the same things I want. Someone I wouldn’t mind waiting for, no matter how long. Someone who can be a world away from me for agonizing stretches of time, but I’ll still be madly in love with at the end of it all.”

“That’s a little vague. I was hoping for a more specific description. Killer personality, pretty, blonde hair or something.”

Jon laughed. “Blonde hair sounds all right. How about you? What’s your dream girl? Or dream boy.”

Aegon shrugged. “Someone comfortable I guess. Someone who can make a promise to stay and keep it.” He smiled half-heartedly.

Jon swallowed the apology that fought to crawl out of his throat. Aegon already made it clear that his lingering resentment for Rhaegar leaving his mother was nothing for Jon to feel guilty about.

He caught sight of Dany traipsing back to them, a smug and satisfied smile on her face, and Robb trailing behind, his head bowed like a disciplined puppy.

“Got it out of your system?” He asked as he raised his arm to let Dany nestle herself under it. She wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. For some reason, she’d gotten so clingy since he started high school.

Smiling, Dany nodded at his question. “Robb has learned his lesson.” She gave Robb a look. “Now, what was it about again?”

“About swallowing my ego and keeping my feet on the ground.” Robb plastered on a flashy grin and squinted to the side, evidently struggling to recall the rest of his lecture. “My popularity is based on superficial admiration, not actual love, and I should know better before… before people who call themselves loyal followers stab me in the back.” He looked at Dany with wide eyes, expectant.

“Good boy.” She nodded approvingly, at which Robb sighed in relief. “You better do well to remember it. I have a feeling it could save your life one day.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am.”

The crowd up ahead roared in sudden applause, prompting Jon and his companions to turn to the stage.

“That was the Second Sons, everybody!”

The audience whistled and shouted as the guys on stage waved and retreated to the side, behind the curtains. A new group of people emerged and settled themselves on their respective places, picking up their respective instruments.

“Hope everyone’s having a great time! Before moving on to some more awesome music, we would just like to thank our primary sponsors for making this afternoon’s event possible,”

“Lion Banks”

“You’ve got the debts, we’ve got the gold!”

“Rose Cereals”

“Eat healthy, grow strong!”

“Dragon Air”

“Fly anywhere, fly Dragon Air!”

Robb snorted and shook his head. “Gods, who comes up with this stuff?”

“Some nerd writer.”

“Now I’m wondering if they could possibly write anything worse.”

“Probably. Some weird fan fiction on the internet.”

They all laughed at that.

“Thank you once again to our wonderful sponsors. Now let’s give a huge round of applause for our next band, The Frey! Performing for us the classic hit song, The Rains of Castamere!”

Robb groaned over the cheering of the crowd. “I’m so sick of hearing that song, it’s all they play everywhere.”

“Ugh. Especially at weddings.”

“I mean, it’s catchy, but I don’t think anyone realizes the underlying message in the lyrics.”

Jon chuckled and got to his feet. “Hey, my band’s coming up soon. I better head back stage with the gang.”

“Good luck, Jon!” Dany reached for his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “We’ll be at the front row when you go up, so look out for us.”

“You got it.” He returned the squeeze and gave her a wink before pulling his hand away and turning to the direction of his bandmates.

“Ow! What’chu punch me for?”

He laughed at the fading sound of Robb’s complaints as he walked, waving at his friends up ahead and wondering what Robb did this time to ruffle Dany’s feathers.

*

“For our next performers, everybody give it up for the Night’s Watch!”

Feeling the adrenaline run in his veins, Jon took a deep breath and held the microphone close to his mouth. His eyes swept over the sea of people spread out under the late afternoon light.

“Hey land of the living, how are you all doing?”

The audience hummed, a couple of voices hooting here and there.

“For our first song, we’re going to perform _‘Wanna be yours’_. Anybody out there who has somebody they like, but is resigned to watching them from afar?”

The crowd let out some jeers and cries.

“Well, this song is dedicated to you. To all you folks who’re just dying to let your special someones know just how you really feel.”

The cries grew louder.

He grinned into the mic. “I hope you guys someday find the courage to go up to that someone, and just tell them that, well, you wanna be theirs!”

The people went wild as Jon’s bandmates started with their instruments, the rhythm of their song’s introduction flowing through the vast park.

Nodding his head to the beat, Jon hovered his face close to the mic and shut his eyes, preparing to jump into the lyrics. Opening his mouth, he started singing.

“I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

 

Breathing in your dust

 

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

 

I will never rust”

 

He opened his eyes and watched the crowd before him sway to the music, many of them moving their lips, singing along. Having all these eyes watching him, enjoying his band play, listening to the words coming out of his mouth, all felt so good.

He reached up to hold the mic with both hands, growing more and more passionate about the song as he drew from his heart all his new desires for a certain kind of love, a love he had yet to experience.

He was practically kissing the mic now, no longer caring about the indirect kiss he was now having with a Frey boy, whose stupidity could possibly be contagious and should make people wary. No, Jon only cared about sharing to the listeners a piece of his desire, hoping to turn his quest for love into something contagious to the people around.

He relished the idea of romance. All this growing up, mentally and physically, and all the talk and _sight_ of girls really messed with his head.

He wanted people to fall in love tonight. _He_ wanted to fall in love.

“Secrets I have held in my heart

  


Are harder to hide than I thought

  


Maybe I just wanna be yours

  


I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours”

  


His eyes searched the front of the audience and he smiled upon catching sight of his best friends, swaying with the crowd and grinning at him.

Glancing at Robb, he hoped for him a girl who could keep him grounded, without having to whack him behind the head of course.

  


“Wanna be yours,”

  


He shifted his gaze to Aegon. He hoped for him somebody who was comfortable to him, someone who would stay, just like he wished.

  


“Wanna be yours,”

  


Finally his eyes settled on Dany. Strong, beautiful Daenerys. He only hoped with all his heart that she would someday find someone who deserved her.

  


“Wanna be yours,”

  


He closed his eyes.

For himself, he hoped for someone who wanted the same things he wanted. Someone he wouldn’t mind waiting for, no matter how long. Someone who could be a world away from him for agonizing stretches of time, but he’d still be madly in love with at the end of it all.

Whoever she was, he was going to find her, wanting only one thing.

  


_Wanna be yours._

  


*  
They were pretty awesome, if he dared say so himself.

Jon waved away at the last member of his band, watching the big guy walk off with his new lady friend. Everyone always overlooked the other Tarly boy, but what could he do when his younger brother was everything he wasn’t: handsome, huge and muscular, athletic and brave. But sometimes brave equated to stupid. Now the daredevil was stuck in the hospital getting his 3rd degree burns treated after that stunt of jumping into a bonfire the other day.

Anyway, Jon was proud of his friend. He certainly knew the feeling of lurking in the shadows of a superior brother-figure. Now, Samuel Tarly was off to spend a good time with someone who was actually interested in listening to him, and not extracting information from him about Dickon, the little dick. Well, technically a big dick.

“Hey vacuum cleaner!”

He barely turned around to fully face the source of the annoying voice when it yelled,

“Breathe in _this_ dust!”

A hand clutched his arm and pulled him aside as a big ball of dirt whizzed past his head. Irritated but somehow resigned, he watched Joffrey Lannister run off and laugh like the maniac he was.

_Lucky._

“Err, thanks for the help.” He turned around to the sight of a pretty face framed by a wild mane of red hair and he found himself widening his eyes.

_Very lucky._

“Hi.” He muttered, his brows shooting up his forehead.

The girl blinked at him. “Hello.” She withdrew the hand clutched on his arm.

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach at the sound of her voice and his throat constricted.

What’s your name? He wanted to ask, but his tongue grew heavy in his mouth and a garbled noise came out instead.

She snorted at him, a smirk playing on her pretty lips.

“Ygritte!”

_Ygritte._

The pretty girl looked over her shoulder and he followed her gaze, catching a glimpse of a big guy with bright red hair like hers.

“We’re just heading over to that Seven-eleven. Meet us there when you’re done talking to the _Southerner._ ”

“Yeah, all right. I won’t take long.” She turned back to face Jon.

He cleared his throat and managed to choke out, “Was that your brother?”

“Tormund? No.”

“Your boyfriend?”

She scoffed. “What if he is?”

He glanced again to the big and bulky guy who, he swore, looked him up and down and smirked at his crotch as if able to see through his pants, thinking, ‘how tiny’.

He stilled his hands from instinctively reaching to cover the little pecker.

“Just asking.” He shrugged his shoulders.

She snorted. “Well, I don’t have a boyfriend.”

A huge grin spread across his face.

“So,” He started. “What brings you all the way south to King’s Landing?”

Raising a brow, she asked, “What makes you think I’m a tourist?”

“My mother’s from the North, you have a similar accent. I’m guessing you’re really far up north, since your friend called me a Southerner like the name carries a plague, or something like that.”

“Not a plague, but centuries-long history of invading our lands and killing our people,” She shrugged. “Or something like that.”

Jon liked her already.

“We’re here for the summer sports clinic. I’m training in archery.”

“An archer!” His hands flew to his chest. “So it must’ve been _your_ arrow, then, that shot me straight through the heart.”

She threw her head back in laughter, the sound music to his ears.

“Well, aren’t you adorable?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

He sighed. “Now this heart’s useless. Care to give me yours?”

She hummed, smiling. “Keep this up, and I’ll blacken your eye.”

“Black was always my color anyway.”

She scrunched her brows in disapproval and whistled. “I hate black. Reminds me of crows, damned little pests. But good target practice.” She shook her head. “Such a shame.”

He smirked. “Why the shame?”

“I would’ve liked a pretty boy like you.” She pressed her lips together and leaned back to take a better look at him.

Biting his lip to keep his grin from growing any wider, he glanced away for a moment to compose himself.

No girl, aside from his relatives, had ever called him pretty before. He felt gorgeous all of a sudden.

Meeting her eyes again, he said, “So, am I pretty enough for you to overcome your dislike for black?”

Smiling, she started taking backward steps. “Hmm. Maybe pretty enough for me to decide to get a pet crow when I return home.” She spun on her heel and started walking to the direction of the Seven-eleven.

“So I’ll see you soon!” He called out to her.

She glanced over her shoulder. “What makes you so sure about that?”

“I’m a swordfighter, my lady archer. I’ll see you Monday at the sports center.”

Chuckling, she said, “All right, crow-”

“Jon!”

“All right, Jon crow. I owe you a black eye, I’ll give it to you Monday!”

He grinned as he watched her form shrink into the crowd.

It was stupid how suddenly excited he was to get up 6am on weekdays during the summer vacation.

Hell yeah, he had a bruise on the eye to receive. With enough luck, he had a kiss on the lips coming for him as well.

His eyes followed the sight of her wild hair before she could fully disappear into the sea of people.

He smiled.

Bright and lovely, kissed by fire. A sign of good luck.

*

Sprawled on top of his bed with a stupid grin stretched out on his face, he thought about the pretty girl who saved him from the flying ball of dirt several hours ago.

Oh, how sweet would it be to lie down with her, hold her tight in his arms and press his forehead against hers, whispering about going away together, perhaps in a far off island or in a cave.

Then she’d say something funny and close her eyes, snuggling against him to rest in his arms.

So romantic.

He sat up when he heard the door open and propped his chin on top of his fist, watching but not really seeing Dany approach and climb onto his bed.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked in a daze, his mind still lingering on Ygritte and all the things they might do in a cave.

“I want to ask you something.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Do you like me?”

Jon frowned at the question and refocused his vision, now paying full attention to the crease in Dany’s brows and the tight press of her lips.

_Do I like you? As my aunt? As a sister-figure? As family?_

“Of course!” He said without hesitation.

The grimace on Dany’s face didn’t ease. It deepened, even.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

Dany was usually either happy and bubbly or furious and in the mood to kill. But she almost never betrayed any sign of hurting, any sign of vulnerability, like she did now. Like she did only once before as far as Jon could remember, on the day he saw her on top of the grassy hill in Dragonstone, crying into her hands, hiding her tears from her older brother.

Was he turning into whatever kind of brother Viserys was to her?

“Hey. I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”

Shaking her head, she forced a smile to her lips, but her brows remained furrowed. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re so down.”

“It was just my stupid final exam.” She bowed her head, curling and uncurling her fists on his sheets. “They’ll post the scores online by tomorrow and I’m just worried. If I fail, I’ll have to take a summer class, that’s all.” She sighed.

“Religious studies, right? Hey, I think I know how to make sure you pass.”

She looked up to meet his eyes. “How?”

“So,” He rubbed his palms together and leaned in closer. “We hire a red priestess, gather a couple of human sacrifices then burn them down by the beach. Their souls would be a reasonable exchange for an A+.”

Dany let out a small laugh and Jon smiled. Cheering her up was an important family duty that he took very seriously.

He touched his knuckle to his chin in thought. “I was thinking Joffrey Lannister would make a pretty good sacrifice. Agree?”

Dany nodded vigorously. “A couple of the Frey boys too. Not all of them so the old Walder Frey doesn’t notice.”

“Oh, so we’re going to spare old Walder Frey?”

“Hmm. For now, yes. We don’t want to cut off the source of our sacrifice supply. Who knows how many more fail scares we’ll face in the exam weeks still to come?”

“Smart. It won’t hurt to slip a couple of his sons’ toes into his breakfast pie, though.”

Dany nodded her approval. “Sounds like a good plan. What can I offer in exchange for your alliance?”

He shook his head. “We fight under the same banner. Your cause is my cause, lady Targaryen.” He grinned at her.

She lifted her chin. “A loyal servant of our house must be rewarded. Name your price, my lord.”

“All right, if you insist. Have an awesome time with me and the boys at the summer carnival tomorrow. Is that within your power to give?”

“We go first in line at the Zombie Graveyard and it’s a deal!”

“Hey!” Jon laughed. “You know how much I hate those white walkers.”

“I’ll hold your hand for you the whole time, don’t worry.” She fluttered her eyelashes and smiled sweetly at him.

“Fine. But we have to try the ‘Fall at the Wall’ too.”

“There’s a height requirement for that. Besides, it sounds dangerous and it’s only going to be opened to the public for the first time.”

“Just watch us and be there in case of emergency, then?”

She rolled her eyes. “Always up to me to swoop in to the rescue. Why do boys like to do stupid things and die?”

“I don’t know.” He chuckled and fell back on top of his pillows. “What would we do without you?”

He felt the bed shift underneath him as Dany settled herself down on the sheets beside him. They stared at the ceiling in each other’s company, like they’d done a thousand times, talking about just everything or nothing.

“So,” She started after several minutes of silence. “Who’s your new friend?”

“What new friend?”

“The girl with the red hair.”

Jon laughed. “Do I have to tell you about every single thing that goes on in my life?”

“Obviously.”

He sighed, smiling as he thought of Ygritte again. “I like her.”

“You just met her.”

“She’s cool. She called me pretty.”

“Pretty? When has a girl from around here ever said anything nice to you?”

“She’s not from around here.”

“Is that so?”

Jon swore there was a glint of eagerness in Dany’s voice just now. He chuckled then said, “Yeah, she’s just visiting from the North.”

“Do you know how long she’s staying?”

“Probably a month, just the duration of the summer sports clinic.” He turned his head to the side to face her. “Why?”

She shrugged. “Homesickness sounds like a terrible thing. The idea of being away from your family must hurt a lot.”

“That’s true. Don’t know what I’d do if you were suddenly not around all the time.”

He recalled what it had been like before Dany came to live with them. It had been so lonely in this big house, with a million things to do but zero friends to do them with. His parents came home late often, Joffrey Lannister and his classmates were pricks, and his relatives were spread out in Winterfell and Dragonstone all year round until summer came.

Dany smiled at him, but he was sure he caught a tinge of sadness in her eyes before she turned away to look up at the ceiling again.

He pressed his lips and felt his chest tighten, wondering why Dany was so sad in the first place when she entered his room, asking if he liked her as if it were even possible for him not to.

_Do I like you? Of course I like you._

_You’re my best friend.  
_

 

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered deleting all the self-indulgent references not really relevant to the plot, but I laughed for 500 years so here’s to hoping readers got a laugh out of it too.
> 
> Hoo boy, getting chapters out on word docs has been getting harder, and life's about to get a lot busier for me, so I appreciate all the patience in case I miss an update <3
> 
> I'm on tumblr as mike-test123 and I'll probably ramble about this fic there from time to time.
> 
> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Edit/update: image from ice-and-fire-trash.tumblr.com ! :D


	7. Do you like me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I can’t believe we’re 7 chapters in and I’ve just remembered to properly thank the wonderful @revesle only now. Here’s a shoutout to her for being so kind as to let me test drive a bunch of previous chapters on her before publicly posting them :D

(IMPORTANT! I might’ve messed up the dialogue in an earlier chapter, causing some confusion on a plot point of this story, so please make sure to read the end notes. Thanks!)

*  
*  
*  
*  
*

**Dany - Present**

*

Dany reached her fingers up to touch her lips, feeling the ghost of a pressure lingering there as she sat on the floor of Jon’s room.

He kissed her.

In broad daylight.

 _He_ kissed her.

Sober.

He held her face in his hands, pressed her hard against the wall, and kissed her directly on the mouth.

_Does he…_

The troublesome question that she fought so hard to extinguish resurfaced in her thoughts once again. She needed clarity. She needed to hear it from his mouth, once and for all. And she knew he was back at hiding again, intending to emerge only when the yacht made port so he could dash onto land and multiply the distance between them.

She’ll be ready for him when he tries.

She was above decks with the entire family, with one missing member of course, when the harbor by the exclusive section along Blackwater Bay came to view. Luxury boats of different sizes were lined up ahead, and beyond were bright summer festivities blaring in contrast under the darkening sky. Bonfires, torches and colored spotlights danced across the horizon as blasting music from different areas fought to overpower one another.

This was just one of the places where the elite gathered and threw one massive party at the peak of summer. It was a very old tradition. The country’s old and important families had descended from the heroes that ended the long night, according to the tales, and they came together every year to commemorate their unity against their common threat.

Dany partly thought it was just a prestigious sounding excuse to throw a snobby showcase-slash-contest of wealth, though she didn’t mind running into some of her high school peers and enjoying a few drinks with them.

Around her, the older Stark kids were on their phones, planning their meetups with each of their fancy friends.

“Hey, yeah.” Robb said into his phone, his back to Dany. “Pregame here? No problem. Told you so, our stuff from the North hits harder than anything else. We’re a hardy, tough breed unlike you bunch of softies.” He walked away towards the railings.

“Yeah, Bran and I will meet you guys at the usual place, same time. Cool.”

“Great, Marge! All right, see you ladies there in a few, bye.”

Dany averted her gaze from Arya and Sansa seated in the pool chairs beside her.

Good. Everyone was preoccupied with their own plans, out of the way so that Jon couldn’t hide behind their backs when she confronted him.

When the walkways were lowered to the landing of the port, the rest of the family departed from the ship, save for Robb who called out over the railings, beckoning the group of guys below to come up.

A few moments later, the deck was crowded again with people much taller than her, keeping her on her toes and her eyes peeled for wherever Jon would come out of hiding.

“Theon!” Robb clasped hands with the adopted Stark she never really grew fond of. She was silently glad he showed up less and less once he was of age to move out on his own.

“How are things patching up with the long-lost-sister?” Robb teased.

“I told you to stop bringing that up.” Theon said through gritted teeth, red tinting his cheeks.

“Woah, woah, what’s the story with the long-lost-sister?”

“Robb, you keep your mouth shut.”

Robb shrugged, turning to the other boys. “Just the usual tear-jerking sibling reunion story.” He smirked, a glint of mischief crinkling his eyes before he added, “Plus, a little accidental incest.”

Oh, the gods couldn’t have done a better job with the timing.

As the boys yelled and ‘ooh’ed at a blushing Theon, calling him nasty and names of the similar sort, Dany spotted Jon quickly passing from view to exit the yacht.

Theon had it good. At least whatever he committed with his sister was ‘accidental’.

What she was doing now, dashing after her nephew in hot pursuit with only the least innocent purposes in mind, was nothing but upfront intentional.

The ongoing outdoor party wasn’t much farther, and before Jon could get any closer to the crowd, she grabbed at his arm and yanked hard enough for him to spin halfway around.

The flash of irritation on his face was quickly replaced with fear as his eyes widened at the sight of her.

It was now or never. No beating around the bush.

Firmly locking his gaze with hers, her fists planted at her sides, she asked,

“Do you like me?”

_Do you like me as a woman?_

She watched his shoulders stiffen at the question. He knew exactly what she meant.

He stared at her with wide eyes for a long hesitant moment before clearing his throat.

“Yes.”

After his curt, almost inaudible response, he spared no time turning around and walking away, disappearing into the sea of people.

_Yes._

Her heart pounded in her chest.

_He likes me._

She felt an enormous grin spread across her face.

Jon was never a liar to begin with. His brutal honesty was his own downfall sometimes, she knew it and he knew it.

So _that’s_ why he chose to avoid her. He couldn’t hide the truth even if the fate of the fucking world depended on it.

She pressed her lips in a hard line, fighting back her smile with much difficulty.

Before Jon could get away again, she maneuvered through the crowd and tailed him. She wasn’t going to let him slip out of her sight this time.

“You like me?” She asked again at his back, slightly raising her voice over the drunken banter surrounding them. She had to make sure.

When there was no response, she glanced up to see that Jon’s ears and neck had gone extremely red. Elated, she clapped her hands to her mouth, swallowing back a wild squeal. She had to remind herself to breathe.

Jon’s attempts at losing her in the crowd were so obvious. He would make sharp turns, left and right, and even go so far as to bump into random strangers to form a barricade behind him.

She easily slithered past each obstruction and snatched at the hem of his shirt.

Picking up his pace, he skirted around the crowd of people, walking along the edge of the swimming pool filled with summer bodies and summer vibes.

She never let go of him.

“Dany, you really shouldn’t be seen around me, all right?”

“Why not?”

“People will think-”

“I don’t care what people think.”

_But I know you care, though._

She bit her lip and tightened her clutch on his shirt.

“Daenerys.” There was an edge to his voice.

“Shoo me away. Go ahead and try.”

She was done letting him shut her out.

“I don’t want you getting-”

“CANNONBALL!”

Surprised, Dany stumbled as a body rammed past her, yanking her from her grip on Jon’s shirt.

Letting out a small yelp, she fell backwards into the pool, anticipating the cold hard slap of breaking into water. But a hand circled her wrist and an arm snaked around her back, catching her, pulling her up against Jon’s hunched over body.

She hardly noticed the cold spatter that rained from the splash of the human cannonball nearby. She could only register the hammering heartbeat coming from her chest pressed against Jon’s, unsure if it belonged to her, or him, or them both.

Mesmerized for the zillionth time, she stared wide-eyed at his long dark lashes framing his pretty grey irises, feeling his breath on her parted lips. She closed her eyes and lifted her face to his, wanting nothing more than to feel the press of his mouth on hers again.

“YEAH!!!”

“CANNONBALL!!!”

She muttered an ‘oof’ before she was violently shoved backwards, still wrapped in Jon’s embrace. All of a sudden, she was underwater, hearing the muffled gushing and bubbling sound of more people diving into the pool.

The pressure of Jon’s body left her and she rose, gasping as she broke through the surface. Unable to feel the floor with her feet, she paddled with her limbs to keep afloat and searched around her for Jon.

She met his eyes a meter away from her, his head just above the water. As she sputtered at the water invading her mouth, she watched indecision furrow his brows, an internal debate whether he should abandon her again or come to her rescue.

He dragged a hand over his face and took a deep breath before wading towards her and offering his shoulders for support.

Wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling a hand splay on the small of her back, pressing her to him, she bit her lip and fought back another huge grin.

_Of course._

Jon had no problem running and hiding from her, but leaving her helpless to fend for herself was a whole different story.

Clinging to him with her arms and legs, she let him wade them towards the one corner of the pool not swimming with people. Her heart singing with delight, she processed the fact that the boy she liked, actually liked her back.

She felt his hands grasp her waist, peeling her off of him and lifting her up to sit on the ledge. Hands leaning on his shoulders, she watched his eyes travel from her stomach up to her breasts before they widened with shock.

“Dany.”

She glanced down to her chest to see that her soaked dress was now see-through, clinging tightly to her skin and exhibiting her nipples.

She bought that dress from Mereen.

_Figures._

Sharply turning away, Jon hastily hefted himself up on the ledge beside her and got to his feet.

She stood up to face him, watching him pull his shirt over his head and slip it around hers.

She wasn’t really shy about public nudity, Essosi culture made her pretty indifferent about it. Slipping her arms through the sleeves, she grinned giddily at the flustered man in front of her, fretting over her as he tugged the oversized, water-logged shirt down her body.

He took one more good look at her from head to toe before spinning around, his back to her once again.

_Oh, no you don’t._

She made a sharp, audible cry as she stepped one foot forward. Mustering all her effort into feigning a pained expression, she watched him sharply turn towards her, inwardly squealing at his look of concern.

“Are you hurt?”

Shifting all her weight on one leg, she lifted the other and let her foot dangle limply above the ground. She touched her cheek to her raised shoulder, a demure sight she knew most men couldn’t resist.

It won’t hurt to manipulate him just this once, as it was payback time for ignoring her.

He sighed exasperatedly and rubbed his face with his palms before kneeling down and offering his bare back to her.

Laughing internally, she all-too-eagerly pounced on him, making sure to groan in pretend pain while embracing his neck from behind.

He remained silent as he carried her, retracing their path back to the yacht.

Lightheaded, she rested her ear on her shoulder, delighting in the feel of his damp skin against hers, his hair tickling her neck and his scent sending her mind spinning.

_Damn! This boy likes me._

She grinned.

“Jon.”

“What?”

_“I like you.”_

She giggled heartily and buried her face into her arm in an attempt to contain herself.

It felt absolutely incredible to finally say it out loud.

“You’re playing with me, now.”

She shook her head, brushing her face against his curls.

“I like you so, so much.” She stretched her neck to smack a kiss on his cheek and reveled at the sight of his skin becoming even redder.

She licked her lips. “When did you start liking me?”

_Was it during that whole trunk episode?_

He swallowed hard and said nothing.

Tightening her embrace around him, she confessed, “I knew I liked you when I saw you get trampled by Robb’s fan girls for the first time.”

Shaking his head, he huffed. “Now you’re _really_ playing with me.”

She chuckled and smiled into his hair.

“I’m not. I thought, wow, those girls are so stupid and blind. But then again,” Pressing her mouth to his ear, she whispered, “I’m so lucky to have you all to myself.”

He gulped and muttered a simple “Oh.”

“You’re so red!” She teased, letting her head fall back and laughing out loud.

_“Dany.”_

He sounded just as flustered as he looked, which was the most flustered she’d ever seen him. And she was the cause.

“You can just tell everyone that my fat ass weighed a ton, I don’t mind. I’m so happy right now.”

He sighed exasperatedly and she only hugged him tighter.

“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up. Promise.” She said into his shoulder, smiling stupidly, immersing herself in the amazing feeling of having all her suffocating affections spill out of her, and be reciprocated.

 

*

Back at the yacht, inside her room, he gently lowered her onto the sofa on one corner.

“I’ll be right back.” He sprinted out of the room.

Leaning against the cushions, Dany crossed her arms behind her head and propped her ankle on one knee as she waited.

_Stupid, stupid boy._

She bit her tongue, grinning and shaking her head.

Sitting properly once more, she resumed her façade of discomfort as Jon reentered the room and rushed to her, a fluffy towel and first aid kit in hand.

He wrapped the towel around her damp hair before kneeling and getting to work on her supposed injury, ice compress and elastic bandage in hand.

Propping her elbow on the armrest and resting her cheek on the back of her hand, she watched Jon treat her foot and ankle, constantly checking with her if the pressure was all right, handling her with so much tenderness and care. She sighed.

When he finished, he reached for a stool and gently lowered her foot on top. Looking up to her eyes, he asked, “Can you manage on your own?”

She nodded vigorously with a silly grin on her face.

He gave her a sheepish smile and a nod before standing up and making his way to the door.

She surveyed him from behind, her gaze traveling from his slightly flushed neck, to his bare muscular back, to his extra fine, round ass.

_Damn, boy!_

She fanned herself hotly before calling out to him.

“Jon.”

Letting the towel fall from her head and lowering her elevated foot to the ground, she stood up as he turned around to face her.

“Don’t forget your shirt.”

With an agonizing slowness, she pulled off the garment, arching her back and jutting out her breasts as she stretched her arms over her head. When her vision was freed from the fabric, she had to bite her lip at the sight of Jon dumbfounded, staring at her body with his mouth hanging open.

When she started walking towards him, he blinked out of his daze.

“Dany, your foot.”

She paused.

_Oh, right._

On her next step, she dramatically winced and released a high-pitched, lustful moan.

She inched her way towards him, pressing her lips tight together to muffle the explicit noise coming from her throat, observing Jon gape at her, red as a tomato.

His body limply staggered as she pressed the damp rumpled shirt against his chest.

Grasping the shirt with both hands, grazing her fingers with his, he muttered, “You’re being cruel. You’re playing with me again.”

Using the shirt as leverage, she pulled herself to him and him to her. Gazing up to his half-lidded eyes, she furrowed her brows.

“I’m not joking around.” She bit her lip and shut her eyes, wincing. “It really hurts.” Her eyes flew open as she let out a gasp.

“Where?” He was frowning at her now, concern lacing his voice.

She licked her lips slowly, watching his eyes follow the motion of her tongue. “Right” She let out a strangled moan. “Between my legs.”

She pulled at him, urging him to lean closer, squeezing the rumpled water-logged shirt between them and making her wetter in more ways than one.

“I was thinking, maybe you can soothe the ache for me…” She snaked a hand around his neck and pulled him down to hover his face over hers.

“Rub it for me…”

She traced circles on his neck where her thumb rested.

“Kiss it for me…”

She wet her lips with her tongue.

“Just touch it for me…”

She dug her nails into his bare skin, marking him and wanting nothing more than his marks all over her as well.

Letting out an unsteady breath, she whispered, “I think I’ll feel all better.”

Brows furrowed, Jon looked into her eyes, searching, calculating.

Returning his piercing gaze, she saw there was an obvious desire in his eyes, mixed with hesitation.

Normally, a man didn’t take this much work to get him all over her body. If it were anyone else, she’d have been properly fucked not long after stripping her shirt off. But it was Jon Targaryen she was seducing. A careful man who wore his honor like armor.

Time felt like it dragged on for years, and a hundred more went by as Jon slowly pulled away, only to fling the shirt in his hands to the side in a wet sounding plop. He tentatively reached up to touch her jaw in the slightest, softest brush of his fingers.

“Are you real?” He asked in a breathless whisper, his eyes shining, mesmerized, leaving her wondering if any of her lewd suggestions even managed to anchor in his thoughts for long.

Before she thought she could bear the distance between their bodies any longer, he touched her shoulder and pulled her to him oh so gently, like he was afraid she would evaporate into a mist at any moment.

His palm cupped her cheek now, tilting her face up so he could lean down and plant a tentative kiss on her mouth. He merely grazed her lips with his before pulling back in the slightest, to take a shaky breath, to check if the world around him hadn’t fallen apart, if she hadn’t burst into flames yet for what he had done.

But it would take more than fire to take her down.

She crept her hands up to rest on his chest, feeling him shudder at the touch of her fingers, feeling his heartbeat thud against her palm, evidence that he was real, that she was real, that everything in this moment was real, and nothing was going to burn down like the gods’ prophets had warned.

Dipping his head once more, he captured her lips with his and kissed her slow. His hands found their way to her waist, holding her cautiously, much like he was ready to peel her away at a moment’s notice and bolt from sight, from this sin they were committing.

No.

She had been long ago ready to jump into the special place in hell that the gods reserved for people like her, people who loved the wrong people. But she silently hoped she wasn’t going to jump alone.

Snaking her arms around his neck, she pulled him as close to her as she could, the closest she has ever dared in her life. She whimpered into his mouth, licking, sucking, biting. Urging him to hold onto her as desperately as she held onto him.

He tenderly wrapped his arms around her, one hand gripped on her shoulder and the other on her waist, squeezing her tight against his body and responding to her passion with the increasing pressure of his lips, tongue and teeth.

They said that the world would crumble.

They said that they would burn alive, screaming.

They said that the fabric of reality would tear open and unleash the devils onto their realm as punishment from the gods.

They didn’t say anything about the incredible highs that her mind would soar, the shoots of pleasure that overwhelmed every inch of her body, the wondrous feeling that poured from her heart, into the hands of the only boy she ever loved.

Maybe they didn’t know.

Maybe they were wrong.

They were all humans, fashioned for love. Who were they to decide which kinds of love were sinful under heavens’ eyes?

The ache between her thighs only grew as she received his kisses and felt his desire for her pressing against her stomach. Knowing her bed was only a few steps away, she made to pull Jon with her, away from the spot where they stood by the door, away from the only exit from what they were doing.

“Can you believe that Cersei bitch?”

And that was it.

The words sliced the contact between them as Jon tore himself away from her, while the sound of several footsteps and voices leisurely passed outside her door.

Robb and his probably stoned friends.

“Trying to skirt around the law? Who does she think she is?”

“They should just cut the bullshit and throw her in prison already. What a sick fucker for seducing her brother, a married heir to an empire no less.”

“I feel so sorry for the guy.”

Deep voices chorused in agreement, throwing out offensive insults in their disgust. Whore. Slut. Incestuous scum. Mad bitch.

“Hey, I’m pretty sure I saw the Lannister yacht on the way here, think you guys are up for a little prank?”

“What’s with you Tyrells and your need to make them suffer more than they already have?”

“You Tarlys, on the other hand, are way too soft on them. Makes us wonder about your father’s loyalty to the company. Don’t think we don’t know about the promises those mangy cats are offering under our noses.”

The footsteps stopped right outside her door as a rising argument loomed.

“All right boys, save the rivalry drama when you get back to your daddy’s office. But I’m with flower boy on his idea. Let’s go trash the Lannister boat!”

“And hey, we might even catch them in the act!”

“That’s just fucking sick. Wonder how much a video of that would sell.”

Boisterous laughs and yells boomed before fading away as the group raced out of earshot, out of the precious moment she had been sharing with Jon.

He backed up towards the door.

Dismayed, she stepped towards him and reached for him, a plea for him not to go lodged in her throat. She wanted to melt into his chest and feel his arms wrap around her, she wanted him to caress her and kiss her.

He firmly gripped her by the shoulders, keeping her at arm’s length, looking at her with the most tender gaze.

“I love you, Daenerys Targaryen.”

Her heart melted at his words.

He squeezed her shoulders and leaned forward to press his lips to her forehead. One last sweet kiss before he pulled back and pulled his hands away.

“I’ll never let this world hurt you.”

The voices in his thoughts might as well have been on loud speaker.

_That Daenerys Targaryen whore._

_What a fucking slut._

_I feel so sorry for her nephew._

She watched him go out the door, shutting it behind him, shutting her out for the hundredth time.

Dany remembered again why she loved this stupid boy so much. This stupid, quiet boy who always left her alone.

_Because._

Stupid. Honest. Selfless Jon.

He would fight a dead army and damn himself to the seventh hell before letting anyone lay a finger on her.

*

*

*

*

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have some explaining to do.  
> I see now that chapter 4 (Dany's flashback chapter) may be a little confusing?  
> Just to confirm, Rhaegar and Lyanna are together and going strong in this fic, both in past and present.
> 
> When I mentioned that Lyanna retreated back to Winterfell (in chapter 4), I meant she retreated a long time ago right after she and Rhaegar had their affair, and she never intended to see him again after that. But oops she got pregnant and she was all alone when she had Jon. More to be revealed soon.
> 
> I might have miscommunicated and got some of you thinking that Lyanna left as soon as Aegon came into the picture. My bad, she didn't do such a thing. She stuck around like an adult who doesn't run away from things that are hard to confront *coughcoughJonyoucouldlearnathingortwo
> 
> I freaked a bit because my college prof once said that in a good story, you should never have to explain yourself after your narrative finishes, so now I’m shaking. I've dishonored my cow.
> 
> Also, I didn't religiously proofread this one like I did with previous chapters. I can feel my schedule start to pinch up!
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading :)


	8. Too much

Dany – Past

 

*

 

Bent over her school desk, Dany wanted nothing more than to repeatedly bang her forehead on the tabletop.

On her stupid religious studies questionnaire.

It was oozing nothing but bullshit, it could drive anyone nuts enough to douse the idiot septon who wrote it in wildfire. She took a deep breath and moved on from the question about why a woman must never have intercourse until she had a ring on her finger and a man’s last name.

‘Explain why it is pitiful for a child to be born outside of marriage.’

_Easy._

Dany rolled her eyes.

_It made people mean to Jon and that’s unforgiveable._

She wrote instead, 

‘Marriage is a holy sacrament in which the gods bestow their blessings for the union of man and woman blah blah blah…

‘Sexual relations belong only within the safe and holy covenant of marriage blah blah blah…

‘Extramarital sex is therefore sinful and the resulting offspring would have to live through the shame of their parents’ sins blah blah blah period.’

She gagged.

Next.

‘Explain why it is sinful for two people of the same sex to engage in a romantic relationship.’

_Because!_

She was fuming.

_This society cares too fucking much about who you can and can’t be with._

Instead, she penned,

‘A man is created for a woman, likewise a woman is created for a man. Hence, it is unnatural for people of the same sex to be romantically linked with one another, since they are unmatched for creating a family. Blah blah blah.’

UGH.

Next.

‘Define incest and explain why it is banned.’

Fucking hells! At this rate, Dany was either going to purposely fail this test or dwell on her irritation too long. The latter wasn’t an option or else, she was going to be late to the band performances. Obviously, only one band mattered. Only one band member, really.

_Incest is me having a big stupid crush on my cute nephew, damn it._

Teeth gritted and hand shaking, she dragged her pen across the answer sheet with a force that almost tore the paper and dented the wooden surface underneath. In her furious concentration, she hardly noticed her seatmates nervously glancing at her and scooting their chairs in the opposite direction.

‘Incest is a relationship between two people who are considered too closely related, blah…

‘It is banned because a romantic relationship between kin is considered most unnatural, blah…

‘Therefore, it goes against the will, image and purpose of the gods, blah…’

_NEXT!_

‘Explain what happens to people who commit incest.’

She imagined Jon, fresh out of practice, his hair damp and hastily combed back, looking at her with a crooked grin. Then he’d close the distance between them, hold her by the waist and dip his head to press his mouth on hers.

She bit her lip and sighed before glaring at the sheet in front of her once more.

‘Offenders of this act are subjected to a prison sentence, the duration of which varies across the continent… Furthermore, they have renounced their rights to passage in the Father’s golden hall… As punishment, they are damned to the seventh and deepest hell along with prostitutes, kinslayers and the lowliest of criminals.’

Dany let out a heavy breath. Just one last question to answer then she was free to go sinfully gawk at her nephew and book herself a ticket to hell.

‘Explain why it is forbidden for a child to be born out of incest.’

_Oh._

She closed her eyes and let her forehead lightly thud on top of the questionnaire. She didn’t have a comeback for that one.

In her heart, she knew she wanted a family in the future. Jon did too. A big one with many children who had more playmates than they could want.

Say Jon gave her a chance.

Say he did want to be with her the way she wanted to be with him.

All would be well, except that she could never be the mother of his children.

She would never, ever wish to give the world reason to point an ugly finger at an unsuspecting child, and call it an abomination, a monster. And no matter how much love she would give to counter the hate, there was nothing she could say to drown out the ring of truth in the dangers of being inbred.

Swallowing the lump in her throat and raising her head, she forced the inked tip of her pen back onto the sheet.

‘It is forbidden for an offspring to be born from closely related parents because of the high potential in birth defects... Dangers in health issues… It is immoral to willingly subject an innocent to be born with possible abnormalities…’

She gnawed at her lip.

_To be born with madness._

*

*

*  
Dany hated wallowing in the miserable mess she made, wolfing down a tub of ice cream by herself in the big empty kitchen.

Why did she like Jon anyway?

Incredulous, she swished her spoon in the air, flicking bits of ice cream on the island counter in front of her.

He was just a stupid boy.

Stupid, stupid boy who was infuriatingly kind and caring to her.

Who shooed her away so that no one would call her names for being around him. Who sincerely apologized and put so much effort in making it up to her afterwards. Who worked so hard to make her laugh whenever she was sad.

This time, there was nothing he could do about the sadness she felt at that moment.

The memory of yesterday was still very fresh on her mind. Jon enchanting her as he stood onstage, caught in the moment, shifting his gaze to her and singing,

_Wanna be yours…_

He was so enchanted himself that night, unable to wipe the dumb grin on his face and snap himself out of a typical boy’s fantasies.

Thinking of a girl with red hair.

Dany shoved another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

He was just a stupid boy.

Stupid, stupid boy who unwittingly broke her heart because of nothing and everything he’d done.

She wasn’t being fair to him… Or Aegon, or Robb. Especially Robb, the poor idiot who just didn’t know better to get out of the way when Jon made her heart flutter, overwhelming her with the urge to hit the nearest object, _stat._

She didn’t want to find out what kind of murderous rage would burst from her if she caught Jon being all lovey-dovey with another girl.

She thought Aegon and Robb were too young to die. And that’s how she ended up sitting alone, staring down an empty canister wiped clean of whatever ice cream it used to contain, instead of having fun at the summer carnival. All because _she_ showed up.

Right now, they were all probably having a blast at the Wall Fall whatever death contraption. Maybe the redhead lost her footing and fell and got hurt.

She grinned at the thought.

But then again, knowing Jon, he probably would’ve turned back to romantically save her, resulting in an intense make-out session on top of the damn wall, complete with a spectacular view of the sky and the warm sun shining over them.

She groaned at the turn of events in her imagination, flinging her spoon into the canister before burying her head into her arms folded on the marble countertop. She didn’t bother recomposing herself or hiding evidence of the disappeared ice cream when she heard the kitchen door swing open.

“Someone’s a little gloomy on a summer day.”

She felt a hand ruffle her hair. Still cradling her head in her arms, she turned to watch Lyanna walk over to the refrigerator and grab a soda from inside. She looked like she just had a good game on horse ride, probably fresh out of the Kings’ Landing Polo Club that she managed.

“What makes you say that?” Dany attempted at a chipper tone but unsurprisingly failed.

Lyanna gestured at the empty can of ice cream with the bottle in her hand. “What was the emergency?”

Dany merely hummed, struggling to formulate an excuse.

“Is it about the exam results you were so worried about? I can have a talk with your teacher, I can be very intimidating on top of a horse.” She grinned mischievously and winked.

Forcing a half-hearted chuckle, Dany said, “I think that’s only going to get me kicked out of school. Lucky for both of us, I passed.”

Lyanna took a seat on the tall stool across from her. “Not school, then. Is it a crush?”

“No.” She felt her cheeks flush and saw the corners of Lyanna’s mouth turn up in a knowing smile.

“Of _course_. The mini music festival yesterday!”

Ugh. That was perceptive of her.

“What makes you think that?” She attempted at her most nonchalant tone.

“Oh, watching a boy onstage in his element, listening to him sing love songs to you… Hard to imagine who wouldn’t fall for that, cheesy as it sounds.”

In her mind flashed the image of Jon’s piercing gaze on her, his mouth singing a love song… _of lies!_

“Nope. Sounds dumb.” She sat up straight and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Sounds dumb, but it does work.” Lyanna smirked. “I take it that it worked really well for Jon, what with the smitten look on his face when you got back from the festival last night.”

She shrugged it off, not wanting to end up with a second empty canister in front of her much too soon. “Who knew he even had a musical side to him?” She commented in the hopes of diverting the conversation far from the subject of Jon’s infatuation.

Lyanna grinned. “He definitely got it from his father. Did you know Rhaegar used to be in a band himself?”

At that, Dany had to perk up.

Stone-faced, serious and often strict Rhaegar. Letting loose in front of a crowd, shouting into a microphone and rocking a stage?

“Shut up!” She scoffed in disbelief. She cupped her cheeks with her palms, her elbows leaning on the countertop. “Tell me, tell me, tell me.” She ordered, her legs swinging in excitement for a peak into her brother’s past. Reaching for anything to distract her from her self-inflicted misery.

“Oh, no.” Lyanna shook her head. “Then I’d have to tell you how we met.”

“That smile says you want to tell me anyway.” Dany raised her eyebrows at her.

Lyanna easily relented, chuckling. “You wouldn’t think it of him. Being the successor to multi-million dollar companies, he had expectations to meet, an image to maintain. So he was businessman philanthropist by day,” She leaned forward on the table, arching her brow as she continued, “And secret lead singer of a famous band by night.”

“Really?” She exclaimed, disbelieving.

Lyanna nodded vigorously. “His band was called The Kingsquard. I loved them so much when I was a little girl.” She propped her chin on one curled hand, her eyes dreamily gazing into a far-off place and time.

Dany wondered if she looked like that when she sometimes gazed at Jon. She seriously had to pull herself together and not be so obvious.

“They disbanded for years. No one knew why.” Lyanna continued, her eyes still staring blankly into space, but her brows scrunched together in a frown. “It was a huge mystery, nobody knew who they were since they all used silly stage names and they always wore masks or helmets.” She shook out of her reverie and focused her gaze on Dany.

“There was the Lord Commander, the Sword of the Morning, the Bold Knight…” She paused and smiled a warm smile. “But my favorite was the Silver Prince. He wore a dragon mask and he had the voice of an angel.”

Dany could imagine it now. Rhaegar in complete disguise, hiding himself, his whole identity from the world. And it was in those moments, she supposed, that he was truly free.

If she herself hid away with Jon from the world. Would she be truly free to love him?

Lyanna’s smile widened into a huge grin. “Come high school, my friends and I heard that they were getting together for one last concert in Harenhall. We flipped! We skipped school and snuck into a bus!” She combed her fingers through her hair, laughing at the memory.

“We were quite the rebellious bunch, you know.” Lyanna shook her head. “Getting drunk and high, really young. Getting so much detention, community service and suspensions.”

_Getting pregnant at 15._

Dany bit her lip and silently berated herself at the fleeting thought. The Septas and their high holy judgmental mindsets must’ve rubbed off on her a little bit.

Lyanna let out a heavy breath. “We were really testing our parents and teachers. One more wrong move and it was expulsion for us. But there was just no way we were missing that concert. So we had to be extremely careful not to get recognized or caught.

“We pretended to be different people that night. Guess we were lucky everyone believed us when we lied about being 18. Either puberty got us good early, or the people couldn’t give a crap once we waved the cash in their faces.” Lyanna twitched her brow and smirked.

“The concert was a dream. I think I even cried. Nope, I definitely cried.” Lyanna chuckled. “Obviously, we snuck into the private after party. Getting past the bouncer wasn’t a problem if you fluttered your eyelashes and strutted your hips in the right angle.”

Dany arched a brow at her.

Laughing, Lyanna added, “And stuffed the right amount of money in his pockets.” She resumed her air of dreaminess as she recalled the events of the concert night.

“Even throughout the party, the Kingsguard members still wore their masks.

“I didn’t officially meet your brother until my friends and I called it a night. We just exited the bar when we heard a boy shouting for help.” Lyanna suddenly became animated as she gestured with her arms, enraged. “We rushed to a dark alley where we found these three assholes beat the shit out of this tiny guy!”

Ooh, bullies. Dany shook her head, tutting, thinking of all the mean kids at school, especially Joffrey Lannister, throwing names at Jon.

“I ran in and grabbed whatever, I think it was a big metal rod, and just started beating those assholes.” Lyanna’s eyes were wild as she went on with her narrative. It occurred to Dany that she might’ve picked up her violent streak from the she-wolf in front of her.

“One of my friends ran to call for help. And she came back with your brother and his friends…

“Unfortunately, before they could completely break up the fight, a bunch of police cars showed up. Then we all scrambled in different directions. Rhaegar took my hand and we got separated from the others.”

Lyanna guiltily looked to Dany and gave her a small smile. “You can tell we spent the rest of the night until dawn together.” She sighed, all her animated anger dissipated. “We never told each other who we really were. No names, no history. I just called him my silver prince.” She chuckled lightly before adding, “And he called me his laughing tree.”

Dany blinked. “The laughing what now?”

Lyanna laughed heartily now. “When he saw me beating up those bullies, he said I was hysterically laughing like a maniac. He said my face was so scary and bloodied, he was reminded of the red faces of the godswood trees we keep in the North.”

Dany chuckled at the image she pictured. Eerie streetlight backlighting Lyanna’s figure, her face spattered with the blood of her enemies and contorted with thirst for more violence.

Dany shook her head. “Doesn’t seem like a face someone would fall in love with.”

Lyanna smiled helplessly. “Sometimes, we don’t get to choose who we fall in love with.”

She felt her chest tighten.

Lyanna drummed her fingers on the countertop. “In those moments, Rhaegar and I were completely different people. I wasn’t a freshman in high school who had 100 apology letters to write to the principal. And Rhaegar wasn’t a high profile tycoon who had a thousand meetings to direct.

“To me, he was my prince charming, my school girl crush in the flesh. And to him,” She smirked, “I was this badass chick who kicked some sorry butt in the name of justice.”

Dany made a small laugh and stretched to give Lyanna a high-five.

Lyanna exhaled happily. “It was a fairytale dream.” Looking down, her expression turned slightly grim. “But it was only one night. We agreed there would be nothing more. So the next day, we resumed our real lives and our real identities. I went home to the North and he went home to the South. We promised each other we’d leave everything behind in Harenhall… and never look back…” She trailed off.

_But things got complicated on your end._

Dany frowned. “How did you…”

Lyanna shrugged. “It’s a small world. Rhaegar came to Winterfell for a triple business deal with the Stark and Baratheon corporations. My father was so frantic that week because he wanted everything to be perfect. He really wanted to impress the young CEO of the mighty Targaryen Industries.

“He invited Rhaegar to our home for a nice home-cooked dinner. I was expecting this Mr. Targaryen to be a big scary man, someone who had to be some drug lord or syndicate leader if he inspired that much distress to people nearly twice his age.”

Lyanna paused, gnawing at her lip before meeting Dany’s eyes as she continued, “You can imagine my surprise to learn that the big scary man wasn’t big and scary after all. He was just my silver prince, quiet and gentle.

“Jon had just been born… And I held him in my arms when Rhaegar saw me for the first time since we said goodbye.”

Lyanna’s eyes squeezed shut as her mind was taken elsewhere. Dany could tell so many more memories and emotions were flooding back to her right then. Revelations of who they were, of the families they had, of the child they created together.

Lyanna’s eyes flew open as she took a deep breath. “And that was it. Rhaegar never left my side ever since.”

Dany stared at her in wonder. A teenage mom who didn’t even know the name of her baby’s father. Such a young person who had a big, crying bundle of responsibility suddenly shoved into her arms, and a whole world judging her, sniggering at her behind her back. That she was wasted potential. That she threw her future out the window. That she deserved it for refusing to listen to her elders.

As if being a single young mother wasn’t a bad enough image to society, she’d later find herself in the position of the homewrecker. The other woman. Yet she stood through it all and gathered herself together somehow. A woman in a man’s world, shamed for seducing a man to sin, as if a man could never be held responsible for his own shortcomings.

Dany reached over the countertop to slide her hand on top of Lyanna’s, offering a gentle squeeze. They smiled at each other. Lyanna, a woman who wrongly loved an older, married man. Dany, a girl who wrongly loved her brother’s son.

They heard the front door of the house open and close loudly, followed by boisterous laughter and footsteps. A few moments later, the kitchen door swung open as Jon, the stupid boy, walked in, Robb and Aegon in tow, immersed in animated conversation about all the intense rides they just tried out.

Dany felt Lyanna’s hand slip out from under hers, and she turned to watch the older woman stand up straight and smooth her hair.

“Hey boys! Home so soon? Did you have lots of fun?” Lyanna asked, a little too cheerily and a little too fast.

“Mother.” Jon blinked at Lyanna, briefly surprised at her presence, before grinning widely and walking to her, gathering her in his arms for an embrace. “Yeah we had so much fun.” He said as he pulled away.

“Hey aunt Lyanna.” Robb glided over and gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

Finally, Aegon approached, albeit awkwardly. “Hi, Lyanna.” He said, offering a sheepish smile.

“Hi, Aegon.” Lyanna nervously squeezed one hand in the other before holding them out to the boy whose mother she’d hurt. Aegon stepped closer and Lyanna patted the sides of his arms before pulling him in for a light and quick hug.

It was quite a sight to see. Dany marveled at the underlying history of the whole circumstance and how normally people would be at each other’s throats, plotting against each other, waging all kinds of wars because one wronged the other. All it took was a little decency, compassion and empathy to come to a peaceful understanding. Even though the path was awkward and rocky.

“You boys hungry?” Lyanna beamed at each of them.

“Aw, actually I was in the mood for some ice cream, but looks like Goldilocks gobbled it all up.”

Always hand it to Robb to ruin the moment.

She grabbed her spoon from the canister, a bit of melted ice cream still sticking to it, and flicked it at stupid boy number two, who laughed as he dodged. He was only this daring when an adult was around.

“Everyone’s back way too early.” She flung the spoon back into the canister in a clatter. “No one was supposed to see me like this.” She groaned as she plopped on the counter in front of her.

She heard the stool beside her drag against the floor before her stooped body was lifted into Jon’s embrace.

“Someone was a little gloomy, that’s why we came back early.” He crooned while he swayed them sideways and patted the top of her head.

She could only guess how much she blushed by Aegon’s reaction, and it must’ve been too much if he had to bring his fist to his mouth and snort his laughter while turning away.

She broke out of Jon’s embrace and grabbed her spoon once again, swinging it violently at Aegon, splattering more tiny bits of sticky ice cream.

“You laughing at me, punk?” She snarled at stupid boy number three, who shook his head apologetically and struggled to silence his laughter as he backed up.

Jon reached for her wrist and gently stilled her violent motions, taking the spoon-slash-potential-weapon from her with his other hand, setting it down on the table out of reach. He slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders and squeezed, then let his hand dangle in front of her.

Damn it, he always saw right through her and knew she was not feeling any better since she talked to him in his room last night.

_Do you like me?_

She was so naïve for asking.

_Of course!_

Of course that’s what he was going to say, and of course he didn’t have to say the rest of it for her to get his meaning. He liked her as his family, as his sister-figure, as his aunt. He didn’t like her how a man liked a woman.

Jon squinted at the two boys across the counter. “You two, stop annoying my favorite bro.”

_Oh my gods!_

Stupid boy might have even forgotten that she was a girl! Dany tried her best to keep a straight face as she sobbed internally, thinking of all the tubs of ice cream she was going to devour once she was alone again.

“Hey, _I_ was your bro first.” Robb complained, pulling a stool back and sitting across from them, reassured that Dany’s mood had been tempered.

“Technically, I’m your _real_ bro.” Aegon chimed in and took a seat beside Robb.

Jon laughed. “It’s been great, although I wish I had more.” He stretched, pulling his arm away from Dany before leaning forward on the table, propping his cheek on his fist with a wondering expression. “Think you could work on that, mom?” He smiled mischievously at Lyanna.

“Jon!” Lyanna stormed over and trapped him in a tight hold in her arms. “Don’t even think about it! After having you, I’ve developed an irrational fear of going through childbirth.” She ruffled the top of his hair. “Sorry bud, you’re stuck with what you’ve got.” She smacked a kiss on his cheek before pulling away and taking a seat on the stool next to him.

Robb coughed and muttered at the side of his mouth, “Think you could have a talk with my mother about future children and fear?”

“A little too late for that, don’t you think, hun? Your mother and I are already narrowing down the list of baby names. What do you guys think of Rickon?” Lyanna beamed at her young companions.

The chatter went on about how the name was funnily close to Dickon, but also how it’d make a great name for a rock star because he could replace ‘Rock on’ with ‘Rick on’ for personal branding, then also how it was just an invitation for generating puns out of it: reckon, wreck-on, rake-on, the list went on.

Dany took no part in the commentary, unable to keep herself from dwelling on how excited Jon was for the incoming addition to the family, how he wanted only more and more siblings, how he desired for many kids of his own someday in the future.

It hurt so much that she could never be the one to help him fulfill that wish.

The kitchen door swung open once more and Dany watched Rhaegar step inside, his thumb and forefinger rubbing his eyes as he lightly yawned. He blinked a couple of times as he registered all the people packed around the kitchen island. “Hi everyone.”

Everyone said their hellos as Rhaegar stepped forward and clapped a hand on Aegon’s back. “Thought you kids would still be at the carnival.” He said, smiling at the gathered family.

“We had an emergency craving.” Jon gestured at the empty ice cream canister.

Ah, _we_. Jon never failed to cover for her whenever he could. She had the sudden urge to shake him violently and order him to give her one good reason to hate him, so that she could stop being miserably in love with him.

Rhaegar merely eyed the single spoon on the counter, the corner of his mouth curling upwards, before checking his watch. “Still really early in the day for the fun to be over so soon. Who wants to go skydiving?”

Robb gasped excitedly for a moment before hunching over, deflated in an instant. “Don’t you have to be 18 and above to go skydiving?”

“Luckily, your uncle owns the plane you get to jump off of.” Rhaegar smirked at Robb who wasted no time pushing himself away from the counter.

Jumping from the stool to his feet, shaking with excitement, he exclaimed, “Don’t tell my mother!”

“Don’t tell mine either!” Aegon shot up to his feet, grinning, mirroring Robb's enthusiam.

“Unfair, somebody told _mine_.” Jon joked, chuckling as Lyanna ruffled his hair and pulled him for a kiss on the cheek before she pushed him off his seat and prompted him to join the boys.

_What a mama’s boy_ , Dany thought as she internally swatted all the giddy warm feelings trying to surface in her chest, from the sight of Jon's loving relationship with his mother.

Sighing, she remained firmly glued on her stool as she watched Rhaegar walk over to the glass back door, which opened to the vast gardens. The three stupid boys followed, Jon in the middle, his arms flung over Aegon and Robb’s shoulders as they chattered excitedly about their next daredevil stunt.

She felt Lyanna’s knuckle nudging her arm, prompting her to turn over and see the question etched on her face, asking, what are you doing still sitting on your ass and sulking? Dany merely raised her shoulders for a moment and let them slump back down.

She’d already fallen and crashed so hard in love. Why would she subject herself to more falling and crashing?

She sulked some more, groaning as she let her head fall into the crook of her arm.

“Rhaegar,” Lyanna called out to her husband, who turned around, his hand sliding the door half-open. “You should bring Dany along.”

Rhaegar caught sight of Dany slouched over the counter. “Lyannaaaa” He whined, almost childlike. “Stop forcing me to bring my little sister when I hang out with my friends.” He smiled wickedly at Dany.

Oh, stupid boy number four. The stupid boys sure knew how to rile her up so well.

“Rhaegar!” She shouted, slamming her palms on the counter to push herself away from it, her chair screeching loudly against the floor.

“Look at what you’ve done!” Robb slipped away from under Jon’s arm, making a dash for the door. “You’ve woken the beast!”

Dany hopped off her stool, watching the remaining boys scramble out the door in laughter. She chased after them. Outside, she paused, eyeing each of the boys spread out in different directions across the gardens. Her gaze landed on Jon, the one who riled her up the most, for being so kind, so caring, so handsome and so fucking out of her reach.

His eyes widened, and so did his grin, as Dany bolted straight towards him. He spun around and dashed the other way.

She hated this feeling. She hated how she liked him so, so much. She hated how the world gave her no choice but to silently watch him from afar.

She ran faster, willing the distance between them to disappear.

Society expected her to silently watch him fall in love from afar. Watch him get married from afar. Watch him raise a family from afar.

She grabbed at his shirt, wanting nothing more than to rebel against everything that was expected of her.

Jon stumbled backwards, and Dany fell over him. They rolled over on the grass, struggling against each other’s arms. Jon laughed hysterically as he tried to scramble away, and Dany desperately held on, hoping, wishing she could defy the forces that would put her in her place, afar from wherever Jon was.

He was sprawled on his back, Dany sitting on top of him, her thighs clamped at his sides, when he limply raised his hands in defeat.

She panted, her heart fluttering all over again at the sight of Jon’s face flushed from exertion, his sweet smile and the sound of his laughter. _Stop fluttering_ , she thought in frustration as she pounded a fist on his chest, then another, then another, then another.

She didn’t realize she was whimpering until Jon shushed her soothingly, gently circling her wrists with his hands, stilling them. He sat up and gathered her into his arms, rocking her sideways.

“Shhh. Don’t be angry anymore. Don’t be sad anymore.” He murmured in his low, gentle voice.

It took all her willpower not to cry at that moment.

She slumped into his embrace, shutting her eyes and burying her face on his shoulder.

She tried not to be angry. She tried not to be sad. But she couldn't help it.

It wasn’t long before someone’s back pressed against their arms, humming with laughter, pushing them on their sides over the grass. Dany felt another body pile on top, and another, and then the crushing weight was too much so she squirmed, feeling everyone roll over on the grass, a tangle of limbs and deep, fading chuckles.

“Feeling better, Dany?”

Her view of the sky was suddenly obstructed by Rhaegar’s hand as he patted her face annoyingly. She punched at the direction the hand came from, hoping to connect with a limb that belonged to her brother, but was rewarded instead with an _‘ow’_ in Robb’s voice.

She snorted before bursting into a hearty laugh, at which the boys around her cheered.

Turning her head to the side, she met Jon’s eyes. He smiled at her warmly, and she smiled back, mustering all her effort to hide away all the sadness he could see right through. It might’ve worked for now, but she knew she was gradually losing control over how she felt. She knew Jon would sense the things that troubled her.

Then Jon would pry. Then Jon would do everything in his power to make her feel better. 

Then Dany would fall for him even more. Then Dany would feel a whole lot worse.

It was a vicious, never-ending cycle.

Maybe she should just go far, far away. To forget about her feelings for him. To heal.

Maybe someday... she would.

 

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sped read the whole thing just once after finishing it and it seemed lacking but I hope it's still satisfactory.
> 
> Was a little hesitant on using the word bro, it’s used endearingly where I’m from but I think it kind of equates to some white fratboy in other contexts. Know that’s not the case here! It means, my dude!
> 
> Also, Lyanna’s line was originally “irrational fear of dying in childbirth” but it might have been too much. Funnier, but probably too grim for a family moment haha.
> 
> I’m so sorry if the alternating timeline gets confusing. But I mix the past and present up for a reason, might be a little too subtle but I’ve been trying to make the past and present kind of parallel or hint at each other. And I don’t want to make a bunch of fillers just to even out the pacing if this went chronologically. Then this story would’ve dragged on before getting to anything good haha.
> 
> Anyway, excited with the next few chapters cos they are my favorite parts of this story (and meatiest imo) hehehe.
> 
> Thank you as always for reading, your comments/reactions are always appreciated!


	9. When Summer Ends

**Jon - Present**

  
  
*  
  


As Jon dug his palms into the fine sand underneath him, he took a deep breath as he stared blankly into the starry night sky.

How did things end up like this?

The last year had been painful without her. He could only continue to wish that wherever she was, in Mereen or travelling around Essos, she was happier and happier each day. Her happiness was enough, even if it hurt that she sounded like she had a million better things to do than talk to him over the phone. She avoided him even while she was away, that much was obvious.

It was a miracle that she even agreed to come home at all for the summer. He had been a nervous wreck, trying to plan out a perfect summer where he would win back his best friend and resume their comfortable, platonic relationship with each other.

In the span of less than a week since she arrived, he had touched her, kissed her, held her close against his body and told her he loved her. None of that was part of the plan. And all of that had to be put to a stop.

He sighed. 

It wasn’t easy. No, Dany easily responding to his feelings only made everything a million times harder. He was already resigned to bottle up his feelings deep inside, but everything just blew out of his control the moment he pulled her body on top of him in that damned trunk.

Running away only bought him a little time to keep his secret, but that didn’t matter anymore.

He loved her.

And she knew.

It was all he could do now to keep things from escalating any further, and they were already far too close to the edge. Earlier that night in the yacht, in her room, it was a miracle that he was even able to drag himself away from her for a second. Holding her and kissing her was like a dream. She felt so right, so perfect in his arms, he thought he would never let go.

But he loved her.

So he let go.

She deserved someone she could love freely in front of the whole world. She deserved someone she could introduce to her family and her friends without fear. She deserved someone who could give her a good life free from hate, free from judgment, free from disapproval.

A life with him was nothing but hiding and running away. That was the last thing she deserved.

“So this is where you ran off to this time.”

In an instant, he was sitting up from his spot on the empty beach, which was silent save for the waves crashing on the shore. He didn’t dare turn around to the source of the voice.

“Dany, you shouldn’t have looked for me.” He said, his gaze fixed firmly on the dark horizon between the sky and sea.

“Dany, you shouldn’t have looked for me. Dany, you shouldn’t be seen around me. You’re so frustrating sometimes.” Her tone wasn’t mocking or angry. It was only sad.

Dany, sad, broke his heart more than anything else. So when she sat beside him on the sand, he didn’t move a muscle, even if his body strained to bolt out of sight. Because if he didn’t bolt, he was afraid they were going to finish what they started in the yacht. And he wouldn’t have the power to hold back.

“You said you love me.” Her voice was small and tired. She’d been looking for him all night, only to be told that she shouldn’t have.

“I do. I love you.” The words slipped out of his mouth without him realizing it. But when Dany was unhappy, he found that there was nothing he wouldn’t say or do to drive away her sorrow. He finally turned to face her and caught sight of the flush on her cheeks under the light of the bright moon. He was so in love with this beautiful woman, he thought his heart was going to stop.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before opening his mouth to tell her once more, “Daenerys Targaryen, I love you.”

She pressed her lips together to keep a grin from escaping, but the corners of her mouth tugged in a small smile despite her efforts. Eyes bright and cheeks red, she parted her lips to take a deep breath and said, “Jon Targaryen. I love you too.” And when she beamed at him, he was sure the world stood still for a moment.

In a million years, he never thought he would hear her say those words the way she said them and the way she meant them. It wasn’t an ‘I love you’ for someone who was a friend, someone who was family. He realized he was frowning at her, perplexed that she could possibly hold those kinds of affections for him, of all people.

For a long while, he thought she perhaps held some resentment towards him. The memory of her in front of him at the airport, cold and distant in their last few minutes before she left for Essos, told him she couldn’t wait to finish their goodbyes.

He spent the year that followed wondering why she was always so closed-off in the few instances his calls got through. Keeping her responses curt and lifeless. Excusing herself hastily because of her busy schedule.

Then he spent the last month anxiously awaiting her arrival, hoping to right things, hoping to wave away the uncomfortable air… until he touched her inappropriately and believed he ruined those chances.

It didn’t make any sense to him that she chased after him when he admitted he liked her. It didn’t make any sense for her to say she liked him back, much less seduce him and kiss him the way she did.

“You’re so serious.” She chuckled and gave him a radiant smile. “I just told you that I love you.”

His heart melted at the sight of her cheer, but he shook his head, unrelenting from his frown. “What do you see in me?”

Dany was one of a kind. He knew it long before he’d fallen for her. He knew the finest gentlemen, the most charming princes, the greatest men would fall for her too, and she would love one of them.

He’d thought perhaps the man named Daario Naharis would be the one to capture her heart. The man who’d built a mountain of achievements with only his two bare hands. The man the whole world adored for his charitable deeds, his perfectly chiseled face, and his goddamn island haven for puppies, _puppies_ for fuck’s sake.

Not him. Not simple, invisible Jon who had no self-made titles or glory to offer, only his heart.

But even his heart wasn’t something for him to give, not under the gods’ watchful eyes.

She stared at him for a moment before stating simply, “You’re the sweetest person in my life.” Gently taking his hand, she laced her fingers through his. “You’re so good to me. Honest. Selfless. You’re my first love, and I could never push away my feelings no matter how hard I tried.”

He blinked at her, still struggling to comprehend that she loved him the way he loved her.

Had she been so cold and distant in the last year because she was trying to push her feelings away? Did she leave to the other side of the world in the first place because of him? Because she loved someone she wasn’t supposed to love?

He couldn’t even be angry. He could never be angry with her, especially when he’d done the exact same thing, running away and hiding because he, too, loved someone he wasn’t supposed to love.

She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “Your turn. What do you see in me?”

He looked at her long and hard, his brows furrowing even deeper as he studied her petite form huddled next to him.

Silver hair and violet eyes.

She was everything.

He cleared his throat and started, “You’re brave and fierce. You have endless compassion for the people around you. You look after the people you care about. You’re strong, good and fearless.”

He knew there was too much to say, and even if he could say it all, the words could never amount to the intensity of what he thought of her. “You’re the loveliest woman in my life.” He muttered, love-struck and dumb just from being this close to this precious person.

He was too lost, too consumed staring into her pretty purple eyes, that he didn’t see the kiss coming. It was sudden, short and sweet, just a quick smack on his lips, but it instantly sent his heart racing, his mind spinning and blood rushing to his face.

Shutting his eyes and turning his head away, he took deep, shaky breaths, willing away the sudden urge to pin her to the ground and take her right then. Deciding it was too risky to remain where he sat, he got to his feet, eyes still shut.

“I need to take a walk.” He breathed before taking a step away from her direction, but his eyes flew open when he realized his hand was still tightly clutched in hers. He turned his head to her as she stuck herself to his side in an instant, pressing her face into his arm. “What are you doing?”

“Coming with you for that walk.”

“Daenerys.” He said in a warning tone.

In response, she merely shook her head, nuzzling his arm with her nose and squeezing his hand with hers. Right, she’d been this clingy for years and he was only starting to realize why.

Sighing, resigning himself to letting her have her way as if he could even resist, he started forward along the empty beach illuminated by the moon and the stars above, with the woman he loved at his side.

After long minutes of silence, he finally decided to ask in a quiet mutter, “How have you been the last year?”

It had been hard for him to decipher the going-ons in her life in Mereen, with only her seldom social media updates at his disposal, and her reluctant responses to his attempts at conversation. Plus, the frequent tagged posts from Daario Naharis, which were especially difficult for him to look at.

“Essos is beautiful. I’ve made wonderful friends. I’ve been on incredible adventures.” Her voice was dreamy, happy, but turned melancholic when she continued, “All that still wasn’t enough to help me get over you.”

Unconsciously, he tightened his grip on her hand. He’d been the cause of her pain long enough.

“I thought for sure my calls at 3 a.m. would’ve made you realize how awful I am.” He joked, trying for a light mood.

“Oh, your calls made me awfully miserable. I stress-ate and binge-watched tragedy shows, the ones where you root for characters so hard but they die anyway.”

He smiled. “Are you talking about the show that won’t be renewed in two years?”

At that, she groaned. “The one based on the books that probably won’t be finished in another decade.”

He laughed, and she laughed, and that was all he wanted. To give her a reason to smile, no matter how fleeting. To talk with her about just everything or nothing, like they’d done a thousand times.

“You? How have you been?” She asked, her head tilted down slightly in guilt. “I was always too afraid to check up on you. Maybe you’d met someone and I couldn’t take that.”

He stared forward, his head in a daze as he muttered, “How could I have met someone, when all I could think about was you.”

Blinking, he cleared his throat, pushing aside the longing in his voice. It wasn’t a good idea to lead her to a place they could never go. “I’m doing all right. Father has been grooming me for my next job at the company.”

“Cool. And what’s that?”

“Being a flight agent.”

She chuckled. “Customer service, nice. Rhaegar is awfully serious about running you down every single department.”

“It’s all right. It’s been a humbling experience. Getting perspectives of all the people under the company’s umbrella from top to bottom.”

“Don’t you envy the kids whose parents simply hand them their entire self-running inheritance, no other words said?”

“The sentiment definitely crossed my mind when I was changing sheets and taking out the trash at the Red Keep towers.” He smiled as she hummed a laugh at his side. Shaking his head, he added, “No, but I’m glad for the experience, really.”

“Getting your hands dirty, picking up after other people’s messes, dealing with cranky customers? You’re brave. Everyone from high school would get a stroke if they, gods forbid, were put in uniform that wasn’t custom-made.”

“Everyone from high school would cringe at the prospect of hanging out with people who, gods forbid, make their coffee from an instant mix.”

“You mean, that powder you buy from the _store_?” She dramatically gasped as she splayed her free hand over her heart. “Not the imported beans exclusively grown in Dorne? You hang out with people who consume _that_? Unspeakable.”

Chuckling, he nudged her side with his elbow, eliciting a giggle from her. In a light scold, he said, “Don’t judge my friends’ choice of coffee.” Although there really wasn’t a wide choice range for a lot of people, and that realization made him truly value the various jobs his father had been tasking him.

She squeezed his hand and clutched his arm with the other, huddling close to his side. “I’m kidding. I love that you’re not prejudiced.” She nuzzled his arm with her nose before looking up at him, smiling. “You made friends? Was it difficult? Did they know who you are?”

It _was_ difficult, especially at the start. As someone who carried a prestigious name, who was born and raised in wealth, it was only natural for him to develop an air of superiority over those with no such backgrounds to boast of. He wasn’t liked. He didn’t really care to be liked. Until he was slapped with the hard truth that he was better than no one.

Shrugging his shoulders, he replied, “In some of the jobs, they knew who I was from the beginning. In the other jobs, they just found out eventually. Either way, I always had to prove myself. That I wasn’t just the spoiled brat they always imagined the big boss’ kid would be.”

Hostile and resentful. That’s how he was at the start. He hid those feelings well, but that didn’t make them any less real. 

“Making friends was always a challenge.” He continued, stuffing his free hand in his pocket and staring down at his feet, taking one step after the other. “If people were nice to me, I became conditioned to think they only wanted to gain favors, and a lot of times, I was right about that. The people I genuinely befriended were fellow outcasts who were too worried keeping themselves from screwing up to care about who I was.”

Edd. Pyp. Grenn. He smiled at the air, recalling the goofy faces of the friends he made. “We helped each other out. I offered them whatever knowledge and skill I could. And they offered me a place to belong to.”

A place to belong to was what he desperately needed. After high school, he watched his best friends take off from his life one by one. Aegon, who picked up his bags to travel the world. Robb, who returned to Winterfell to prep for his own command as the future head of the Stark Corporation. And Dany… the one he cared about the most. The one who left to the other side of the world to forget and be forgotten. The one he would never be able to stop thinking of.

“I’m so proud of you, I don’t think you can imagine how much.” She gave him a huge grin that turned her eyes into squints. “I’ll have you know I’m falling for you all over again right now.” Giggling, she hugged his arm tight.

It was all he could do to look away from the girl gushing over him, to keep himself from gathering her into his arms and kiss her senseless.

They walked on slowly in silence, relishing the cool sea breeze and the peaceful sound of the waves, leaving behind a trail of footprints in the sand.

He never imagined a moment like this would ever become real. It was all too good to be true. He glanced down at her, catching sight of the serene and satisfied look on her face that sent warmth all over his chest.

Had she really liked him for so long?

_I knew I liked you when I saw you get trampled by Robb’s fan girls for the first time._

He had to quietly scoff at that. It sounded like a joke, but sometimes he wondered why Dany had clung to him like glue when he started high school. And why she drifted away from him each time she was especially sad, each time he tried to comfort her but nothing worked.

“I love you.” He whispered to her, disrupting their silence, and she smiled so radiantly, so happily that his heart felt so full. All these years, was that all she wanted to hear from him? All those times, was she sad because she believed he didn’t?

Oh, but she was right for a time. She was only his closest, most treasured friend for a long while. It had taken her heavy flowing tears, her choked up voice and her broken heart for him to finally open his eyes.

He only ever saw her like that, completely, utterly devastated and broken, three times in his entire life.

The first time was on the day he faced her atop the hill in Dragonstone, as she grieved for her lost mother.

The second time was on the night he watched her break down in front of him, needlessly apologizing for something that was never her fault. The night that people decided to be cruel. The night that he hopelessly fell for her.

And the third time was on the day he was supposed to leave King’s Landing for good. But when he caught her crying to herself, at the most trying and difficult time in her life yet, he couldn’t leave. So he stayed.

He stayed, when he was supposed to be gone to start a new life far North, half a world away. To forget about the girl he shouldn’t love the way he did. What he wasn’t strong enough to do, but she was, when it had been her turn to make the choice.

He came to a stop, looking down at their interlaced fingers, tracing circles on her hand with his thumb. He swallowed hard and said, “I love you, Dany. But-“

“I know. Don’t say it.”

_But there’s no future with me._

He let go of her hand to pull her into an embrace and kissed the top of her head. “I wish things were different.”

Perhaps if he was a king, he’d be granted the authority to make their kind of love acceptable. Perhaps if he was a hero, he’d be granted one favor, anything he asked. Perhaps if he was a nobody, the world wouldn’t notice him and wouldn’t give a fuck what he did.

He wasn’t a king. He wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t even a nobody. He was the son of a powerful and wealthy man, and the heir to a multibillion-dollar business empire. He had expectations to meet, an image to maintain and his whole world to protect. Loving this girl was unspeakable to society, a single act that would ruin his family like it ruined the Lannisters.

“When summer ends, I’ll leave like I’m supposed to.” She craned her neck to tenderly gaze up at him with nothing but love in her eyes. “Until then…” There was a hint of desperation in her voice, a looming plea. “Until then, let me be yours.”

No.

His heart fell as he thought it.

No, he could never bear that. He could never bear to make her his, only to be torn apart in the end, knowingly and willingly. It would hurt to no end if they learned what it was like if she was his, and he was hers, then inevitably part ways. Having nothing but sweet fleeting memories and the eternal bitter taste of the reality that they could never last.

He would have her always and forever.

Or he wouldn’t have her at all.

It pained him to say no. Each slow sway of his head from side to side chipped away at his heart, but he knew it had to be done. He could never be the one to make her happy.

Tightening his embrace, he closed his eyes and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. “I’ll do anything for you. But not this.”

He’d surrender everything he had to her, his love, his loyalty, his life. But he dared not take anything in return, especially not her heart, which would only crumble in his hands.

When she shifted in his arms to press her mouth on his, he didn’t move away. He’ll give her this, a sweet and tender kiss that held a realm of possibilities of a life together, loving and caring. But a life together was also just a beautiful illusion.

As he moved his lips against hers, he wished he could live in this moment in a never-ending limbo.

But it was a kiss that was forbidden, a kiss that would only hurt them.

A kiss that he was going to pull away from.

A kiss that was going to be their last.

  
  
  
  


  
*  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plans have been changed! I rearranged chapters and events (this was originally a present Dany chapter)
> 
> Bad news: I'm going to take forever in writing, what with my job and side-job  
> Good news: Part 1 is probably going to exceed the intended 15 chapters! (that's good, right?)
> 
> Thank you for reading and thank you for your patience!


	10. A friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I need to mention it again, Dany is 2 year levels behind Jon (and Robb and Aegon) and so as the boys enter their junior year, Dany enters her freshman year~~~
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Dany - Past  
**   
  
*  
  
“High school is going to be the best four years of your life!”

****

_Bullshit._

Dany hated high school already. She hated the nauseous amount of energy that the freshman welcoming party exuded as they paraded down the halls. It was all just noise for drowning out the looming tide of hell that had yet to break onto shore.

She also hated the way boys looked her up and down, like she was a piece of meat, each time she walked from class to class. She hated the way girls eyed her with what, jealousy, hatred, reluctant admiration, she couldn’t tell. They all wouldn’t stop looking at her and she hated it.

She hated the lists most of all. They were everywhere, on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, on notes passed around in class, on the backs of bathroom stalls. And her name, Daenerys Targaryen, on the damned list.

“If high school is going to be the best years of our lives, I feel awfully sorry for ourselves.” She said aloud to her locker neighbor as she deposited her things on her locker shelves.

“It’s only the first day, don’t be so pessimistic already.” The girl next to her beamed, flashing the brightly colored rubbers of her braces.

Making a face, Dany complained, “I don’t understand how you’re the cheery one between us, Roslin. Especially with all the fucked up posts circulating right now.”

Roslin was on a list too.

“And I don’t understand how you’re the grumpy one, Dany.” She retorted with a lisp. “They put _you_ at the top of the freshmen hottie list to watch out for this year.”

Dany groaned. “That list is disgusting. I don’t want to be ranked against other people based on looks.”

“Just look at the bright side. You’re popular already, so you have the influence to make the kind of change you want to see, don’t you think?”

It still didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right having people pay her attention only because they liked how she looked, and not because they gave a fuck about what she had to say. It made her uncomfortable to guess what were on people’s minds when they watched her. In these school walls, she’d never felt so insecure, so unsafe.

At the sound of a beep, Roslin held her phone up to her face and broke into a huge grin.

“Is that Pod?” Dany asked, feeling a small smile unconsciously creep onto her mouth.

“Yes. He’s waiting for me outside the school. We’re going to the park and have ice cream together.” Roslin tucked her hair behind her ears as she blushed adorably. “It’s a date.”

“No wonder you’re so cheery.” She beamed at her friend, momentarily forgetting the rotten mood she’d been in all day. “Go have a great time and tell me all about it tomorrow.”

After exchanging goodbyes and see you tomorrows, she watched Roslin turn the other direction and skip down the hall, happily oblivious to the couple of students sniggering behind their hands as she passed.

She wondered if it was Roslin’s frizzy hair, or her glasses that were too big for her face, or her mouth full of metal that made boys and girls cackle in her wake, when Dany found none of those things laughable. Sure, she did almost choke on her spit the first time she met Roslin, but that was because of the name stitched to the back of her P.E. jersey. _Frey._

But Roslin Frey was different from her family. She was sweet and gentle, the last person who deserved to be picked on behind her back. Especially by the noisy group of girls a few lockers away, within earshot from where Dany stood.

“Gods, did you see Ms. No. 1 Freshman Geek back there?”

“Rat’s face and ratty hair. A Frey through and through.”

She made a face behind the cover of her locker door, clenching and unclenching her fists as she fought back the urge to slap a bitch. It’s not like she herself abstained from making fun of a Frey, but that was only when they’d wronged her or her friends in some way. Roslin would never hurt a fly, yet she was at the top of some mean list and the center of mean conversation.

“I feel kind of sorry for her though. Nobody would want to go out with a Frey.”

“Oh, you don’t know? She’s dating someone, guess who.”

“What? Who?”

“Last year’s Mr. Best Kisser.”

The girls all reacted at the same time, talking over each other. _Podrick Payne? He’s a loser though. If you think that, you probably haven’t kissed him._

“So what though?” At the sound of the shrill voice, the others hushed. “I bet they won’t last long. I mean, she’s the type of girl that guys cheat on.”

“You’re so right, it’s girls like her that get stood up at their own _wedding_.”

At that, they cackled in a disgusting chorus, and at that, Dany slammed her locker door shut before marching towards the group.

Through gritted teeth and a forced smile, she began, “Excuse me, hi. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my _friend_ that way.”

All the girls turned to look at her at the same time, surveying her from head to toe with wide, scrutinizing eyes. “Daenerys Targaryen.” The tallest girl was the first to speak. “Miss No. 1 Freshman Hottie. You’re better off looking for new friends.” A smirk tugged the corner of her mouth.

“Like who? Miss _I’m not even on any list_ over here?” She glanced at the girl at her side, whom she knew just enough to recognize her voice as the one that made that last comment.

“Careful, freshman.” The tallest girl warned, watching Dany through squinted eyes. “You’re talking to the girls who could make or break your high school life.”

“What are you gonna do? Tell her she can’t sit with you at lunch?”

Dany looked over her shoulder to the source of the voice, to find an auburn haired beauty crossing her arms as she faced them.

“M-Margaery, hi!” The girl that had threatened her stuttered, all confidence lost, replaced with nerves in the presence of the beauty with the rose brooch on her collar. “N-no that’s not-“

“It’s all right, Senile.” Margaery interrupted, raising her hand.

“Senelle.” The girl corrected.

“Of course.” Margaery turned to lock eyes with Dany, offering an apologetic smile. “These ladies are awfully sorry for their behavior.” She said, gesturing at the girls around her, who vigorously nodded and bowed their heads as if contemplating their sins before a septa.

Blinking, Dany waved a hand in front of her. “It’s fine. Just don’t talk about Roslin that way again.”

The girls eagerly agreed in response, being so nice to Dany all of a sudden that it was painful for her to watch.

Clearing her throat, Margaery asked, “How are the invitations for my party this weekend coming along?”

“Oh, we were just about to go finish them up.”

“Wonderful, best get to it then.” Margaery beamed and waved her fingers as the girls began to herd themselves down the hall. “Oh, and don’t forget to make one for Daenerys Targaryen!” She called out to them, at which they smiled and nodded, before disappearing around the corner.

“Thanks for that.” Dany finally spoke, then after a moment of thought, she added, “Margaery.”

Margaery looked at her, smiling sweetly, then said, “My friends call me Em.”

*

Dany learned that being friends with Margaery Tyrell included being friends with Varys, the mysterious kid who made it his job to know every single student that went to Westeros International School. At the end of her first day as a freshman, she somehow found herself squeezed between the sweetheart princess and the master of gossip, sitting huddled on a picnic bench by the campus field, being schooled on people’s names and secrets over frozen yogurt.

“Ooh, the sugar babes.” Margaery said as a clique of very attractive girls passed their view.

Dany wondered if the dress code rules even applied to them, what with the way passing faculty hardly batted an eye at their folded sleeves, unbuttoned blouses and hiked up skirts.

“Not a group you’d like to be seen with unless you want to be automatically dubbed a whore.” Varys added as he scooped the last of his dessert.

“Like Shae over there? Rumor has it, she’s sleeping with a certain influential professor to make sure she keeps her scholarship.”

She blinked at the raven haired girl with pretty, foreign features as she and her friends settled themselves around a picnic table not far from them. She was stunned, to say the least, since she admired the teachers of this school, especially Mr. Tyrion, and couldn’t imagine any one of them doing such a thing to a student.

“The girl next to her is Ros, one of the oldest students in this school.” Varys said, prompting Dany to shift her attention from the raven to a redhead. “No prestigious family to speak of, just her sugar daddy, who is alone and dying, lucky for her.”

“First thing she did with her new gold mine was get to finishing high school.” Margaery piled on. “Admirable, but at the same time I wonder why she even bothered when she’s already set for life. The lady’s not getting any younger.”

Dany had mostly been quiet while she listened. She was mostly shocked, unable to think of appropriate responses to the kind of open secrets the upperclassmen were casually laying on her lap.

Clearing her throat, she gestured to the other side of the field, at a gang of brutes whose faces and builds rudely contrasted the proper and sleek uniforms they wore. “What about those guys? They look too old to be in high school too.”

“Ah, Joffrey Lannister’s obedient lackeys. Probably just waiting around for the devil to finish tormenting some poor freshman.”

“The ugly one who looks like he wants to eat all your chickens is Sandor Clegane. Held back year after year because Joffrey still needs a babysitter to wipe his ass for him.”

“The one with the blonde hair is Lancel, Joffrey’s uncle. Held back year after year because he’s just that stupid.”

Margaery and Varys laughed at either of her sides, and she found herself giggling along.

“On a serious note,” Margaery started, leaning closer to Dany, “Joffrey’s not someone you want to mess with, especially with those brutes following him around like dogs. Half the school owes something to his family, and that puts him way up the hierarchy, so if anyone will make or break your high school life, it’s him.”

Dany huffed. She wasn’t intimidated by the prick and she wasn’t going to let him decide any part of her high school experience.

“Hey heads up,” Varys said, eagerly fanning his hand at them for their attention. “The athletes are coming out for their run. It’s about _time_! “

“Finally,” Margaery drawled out as a grin spread across her face, “A bunch that’s interesting to talk about _and_ look at.”

Dany watched boys and girls alike flood into the field, then gather into smaller circles around their respective coaches. Instinctively, she found herself looking for Jon, but she shook her head before she could spot him, silently scolding herself for the old habit.

“Check it out, Dickon Tarly heading straight for the sugar babes once again.” Varys snickered, tilting his head to the direction of a tall boy as he wandered from his circle to approach the girls sitting nearby.

“Watch out for that one, they call him Heartsbane for a reason.” Margaery said to her, leaning close. “Easy to fall for, but blows you off the instant he gets his way with his sword, if you get what I’m saying.”

Dany made a face, twitching the side of her mouth as she eyed the Tarly. “Steer clear of that one, noted.”

“Speaking of the ones you shouldn’t go after,” Margaery pointed to another boy with curly brown hair and a pretty face like hers. “That’s my brother, Loras. He’s off-limits.” 

“What, is he a fuckboy too?” She asked.

“Gods, no.” Margaery breathed a laugh at the mere suggestion. “He can be absolutely charming, but it won’t end well if you find yourself liking him. Girls get disappointed because he’s not interested in a relationship, that’s all.”

“Huh.” It wasn’t the first time she’d seen Loras, she’d watched him spar against Jon several times during their trainings in the past. She didn’t spare too much thought on the matter, but she’d definitely noticed his gaze once linger on Jon the same way hers did, and when she started paying more attention, she could mistake his intense scrutiny of other sparrings as a little more than just practical observation.

“Ehem, girl, young wolf at 10 o’clock.” Varys muttered at the side of his mouth, smirking.

Margaery spun her head to the direction where Robb Stark stood, bending over as he stretched, reaching for his toes and offering them quite a view of his ass. At the sight, Margaery whistled and muttered a long ‘damn’.

Dany found herself snorting and rolling her eyes as she asked, incredulous, “Robb? You like Robb?”

Margaery giggled and said, “Who doesn’t?”

“Don’t worry, Em’s not like his crazy fan girls or anything.” Varys titled his head at her. “She’s just searching for the perfect prom date to match her shoes, that’s all.”

The corner of her mouth twitched up in a smirk. “Sounds more like you’re shopping for an accessory.”

“I mean, that _is_ what boys are for, right?” Margaery asked, wide-eyed, like she didn’t know what else she could possibly do with a boy.

Varys scoffed at her. “I could think of a million better uses for them. Like spying on your enemies and assassinating them for you, they could come in handy that way.”

“Yes, sure, but I don’t need an assassin, I need some handsome arm candy for the ball.”

“Em here is aiming for prom queen, you see.” Varys said, turning to Dany to fill her in.

“Dany, you and Robb are close, right?” Margaery asked, hooking her hand on Dany’s arm and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Sure, he’s like my annoying idiot brother.” She started, “But I’m afraid _you’ll_ end up being the arm candy if you go with him. He’s planning to take an entourage.”

Sighing, Margaery peeled herself away, slumping over to prop her chin on top of her hand. “I figured as much. Oh well, there _is_ a spare wolf I could consider.”

In response, Dany nearly choked on her spit, widening her eyes at the girl beside her. “Jon?” Her voice was high-pitched as she blurted his name.

“Why does everyone give me that look? Am I really the only one seeing that six pack all the way from here, even under that shirt?” Biting her lip, Margaery playfully shaded her eyes with her open hand as she squinted at the boy stretching next to Robb. 

“Yes, everyone gives you that look because, in case you’ve forgotten, you’re ogling at last year’s bastard of the year.”

Dany violently turned her head to look at Varys. “Gods, even _that’s_ a thing? Is there a list for that too?”

“No, it’s a special title that Joffrey bestowed on Jon alone. He’s been awfully intent on antagonizing your nephew since middle school.” Raising his hand to the side of his mouth, he muttered in a hushed voice, “If you ask me, I think the prick’s intimidated because your family is the only one that can contest his.”

At her other side, Margaery snapped her fingers as she recalled the fiasco Varys was referring to. “Right, bastard of the year! How could I have forgotten that?” She playfully lowered her voice to a rough sound like she was recounting an epic tale. “His father was the great Targaryen CEO who cheated on his wife-”

“Then abandoned his kids for his homewrecker of a lover and his bastard.” Varys continued for her, dramatically clasping his hands together over his heart.

“Then several years later, in this very school, the true son returned to confront the bastard that stole everything from him.”

“The true son was welcomed with open arms, the bastard was shunned away, and everything was right in the world once more.”

Margaery and Varys broke into a fit of laughter at either of her sides, but she sat still, unable to bring herself to laugh along.

“Gods, that was the juiciest story of the year, wasn’t it?” Margaery said, resuming her normal voice as she grinned widely at Varys, who heartily nodded in agreement.

Dany huffed, unable to mask the disapproval in her voice as she spoke, “You discuss it like it’s some casual piece of entertainment, like these aren’t real people you’re talking about.” She clenched her hands, crushing the empty yogurt cup she forgot she was holding. “Jon’s my best friend, I don’t appreciate you minding his business and twisting his story like that.”

Sensing her dropping mood, Margaery eased the smile off her face, and in a calm, collected voice, she said, “Darling, no one leaves this high school unscathed, especially while Joffrey Lannister’s around.” She paused, taking a moment to inhale and exhale deeply before continuing, “You know what Joffrey said about me? He said that I fucked all three Kettleblack brothers, one right after the other, while he watched.”

Stunned, Dany could only blink at her. Opening her mouth to say something, she found she had nothing to say, so she turned to look at Varys instead.

Varys merely shrugged. “Joffrey said I had no cock.”

At that, Margaery let out a short, light laugh. “Like I said, Joffrey’s untouchable. He’ll say and do things that he’ll get away with and we, on the other hand, are not left with much choice. Either we bitch about it to no end, or we laugh it off and move on.” The whole while she spoke, Margaery smiled effortlessly, like she was talking about summer dresses and beach parties.

Dany frowned and shook her head, unconvinced. “You shouldn’t have to laugh it off and move on. You shouldn’t have to get used to this. He makes people in this school miserable, he makes my _best friend_ miserable. He should pay for that.”

Taking a deep breath, Margaery paused for a moment to contemplate, then looked at her with an excited smile. “Tell you what. We know how to change people’s minds. As your friends, we’ll do you a favor and put in a good word for Jon, hmm? We’ll boost up his image.”

Dany blinked at her. “How do you propose doing that?”

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Margaery crossed her legs and leaned forward, a motion that Varys mirrored in perfect sync as they faced each other with a knowing look.

“What do you think? Top of the junior hottie list?”

Dany tensed up slightly.

_What?_

“Too sudden and suspicious to nudge down Robb Stark into 2nd place. Is Jon even in the list at all?”

_Wait, what?_

“You’re right, we’d have to casually ease him in, but no one pays that much attention to a number 10.”

Dany jumped out of her seat, violently shoving apart her companions in the process. Her back to them, she took heavy, shaky breaths as she tried to clear her mind. After a moment, she spun around to face them, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

“What the fuck. What are you saying? Are you the ones who make those lists?” She asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Margaery placed her hand over her heart, like she was taken aback at such an accusation. “Oh, honey, this is a democracy. Everyone gets to vote on the lists.” She smiled as if that made everything better.

“We just run the gossip website.” Varys raised his shoulders up and down. “Although that remains our secret. Heavens, we can’t have everyone asking us for favors.”

“The gossip website?” Shaking her head slightly, she continued, “You used that to spread the gossip about Jon?”

Varys shrugged, his face unapologetic. “We only shared what was already there.”

She felt her face grow hot at their lack of remorse. “You blew things out of proportion and made him the topic of awful conversation for months!”

“Things worked out, didn’t they?” Margaery even had the nerve to let out a light laugh, like they were all just playing a fun and friendly game. “You’re too upset about this. Your precious nephews are speaking to each other, you’re all friends, you got a happy ending, which is more than most of us could ask.”

“I should report you and have you suspended.” She spat, furious.

“Nothing daddy’s money won’t fix.” Margaery waved her hand, unaffected by the threat. Sighing, like she was getting bored of the conversation, she drawled out, “Dany, open your eyes. Everyone in this school feeds off of each other’s demons and insecurities. Try and take us down, and someone else will rise up to take our place. To restore the natural order of things.”

“You’re fucked up.”

Fucked up people. Fucked up school. Fucked up lists. She hated it all.

“Careful Dany-”

“You’re a bitch, you know that?” She cut her off, raising her voice as her temper escalated. “You’re no different than Joffrey Lannister, you take delight in other people’s misery and drag them out in the open for everyone to point and laugh at.”

Varys coughed once before opening his mouth to jump in, but whatever he was about to say died in his throat when Margaery held up a hand to silence him, all the while fixing her stony gaze on Dany.

“You’re fucking pretentious for acting like you care, acting like you empathize.” Dany continued in a lower voice, noticing other people begin to look in their direction. “You don’t even stand by and stay silent, you’re worse than that because you help push things along and spread the problem. _You_ , are part of the fucking problem.”

Only a slight trace of a smile remained on Margaery’s lips as she stared at her coldly. Dany anticipated some retaliation, perhaps a fight, or maybe just a warning, or a threat, but Margaery sat poised and completely still for a long moment before stating simply, “I think we’re finished here.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat and giving her one last glare, Dany snatched her bag from the side of the bench and turned her back to them.

“It’s such a shame that your best friend will go down as the most undesirable boy of this school by tomorrow.”

Ah, there it was. The retaliation.

She turned around to face Margaery once more. “It’s a shame. I would’ve really liked you, Em.”

Margaery merely smiled at her sweetly, a gesture that contrasted the venom in her eyes. “Only my friends call me Em.”

*

“I swear to the gods, I thought I was going to have to heft you over my shoulder and carry you out of that whole scene. What _was_ that by the way?”

Still in his jersey and jogging pants, Jon sat himself beside her, holding an ice cream cone on either of his hands.

Taking the cone he offered her, she looked away from him, gazing over her view of the park. “You didn’t have to skip practice, you know. I’m fine, nothing happened.”

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

She felt him nudge her hand holding the ice cream cone. Knowing he was watching her carefully, she chomped the top of the swirl and forced out a sigh of content.

“Did Margaery do something to you?”

_No. Not to me._

What was Margaery going to say about him? Rumors and made up lies? No, perhaps crowdsourced opinions of the girls she controlled.

_Jon Targaryen? As if._

_Lesser wolf, inferior Targaryen, no thanks._

_The son of a homewrecker and a cheater? The apple never falls far from the tree._

Her stomach twisted at the thought of what she’d done. Maybe she should’ve stayed silent, she shouldn’t have crossed someone who had the power to sway the minds of the whole school. Should she report them, then? Or was that only going to backfire and bite her in the ass? Was she only going to make things worse if she fought back?

Before her silence stretched on too long, she looked at him and responded, “Margaery and I were just trying to befriend each other. But we figured we didn’t see eye to eye, so it didn’t work out.” She sighed deeply before adding, “Making friends in high school is harder than I thought.” Then attacked her ice cream with more fervor.

The boys and girls at the hallways who snickered at Roslin Frey. She didn’t want to be friends with any of them.

The sugar babes, most of the jocks, Joffrey Lannister’s lackeys. Out of the question for different reasons.

Varys.

Margaery.

Friendships she thought would blossom beautifully but burned to ashes the moment she realized they had thorns.

Popping the last bit of her sugar cone into her mouth and munching viciously, she muttered, “Is there a single person in that damned school worth calling a friend?”

“You’re looking at one aren’t you?”

At that, she slowed her chewing, suddenly conscious of the ice cream bits that were probably smeared all over her mouth. She stared at him silently, taking a good long look at the concern that furrowed his brows, the sincerity that shone in his eyes. She swallowed hard and wiped at her mouth, mopping off crumbs, ice cream, and possibly drool.

He chuckled at her reaction, or lack of one rather, then said, “Don’t look so disappointed that it’s just me.”

 _Just you?_ She thought to herself in a daze. He wasn’t _just_ anybody.

“You _will_ meet the kind of friends that you’re looking for.” He smiled at her reassuringly, the sight of which made her heart flutter for the thousandth time. “Whether you find them soon or not, I’m just here. And I’ll have your back, _always_. You got that?”

When she nodded, he put his untouched, slightly softening ice cream in her hands. Frowning at it, she said, “You’re making me fat.”

“Those whole tubs you devoured over the summer tried and failed at that, what difference is another cone?”

She laughed for what felt like the first time in a while. Without another complaint, she brought the ice cream to her mouth as Jon nodded at her approvingly. In that moment, nothing ever tasted sweeter. His gestures, his words, his company, made her feel warm all over, made her feel loved and cared for.

Jon really was something. He really was a friend.

There was just this problem.

She could no longer see him as a friend.

And maybe after tomorrow… After Margaery was done with him...

He would no longer see her as one either.

 

 

*  
*  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it’s not getting too crowded, but it’s always fun adding more people to watch out for over your shoulder hahaha
> 
> Introducing Roslin “be careful who you call ugly in high school” Frey, Margaery “the Blair to Dany’s Serena” Tyrell, and “I’m just here for the drama” Varys
> 
> This wasn’t part of the original plans, it just came to me to add more backstory for what’s to come. Unfortunately, I think I just made everything more confusing with more plot elements but in the same back and forth time jumping format. Sorry!! I’ll try my best to not make it super complicated to follow. Hope everyone _is_ following so far, though
> 
> (Edit: i added a line lol)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon’s chapter for the past might’ve been a much better fit for this update, but well, it hasn’t written itself yet and I don’t want to prolong this fic's update for another few weeks, hehe.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Jon - Present**

*

The night ocean breeze on his skin.

The sound of the sea foaming on the shore.

The warmth of her body wrapped in his arms.

The softness of her lips against his.

Jon made damn sure he had memorized every miniscule detail of that moment under the stars, because he was damn sure it was going to be the last time. The last time he held her and kissed her, the last time he touched her like a lover would.

But oh, that woman, that stubborn, defiant, beautiful woman, had other ideas.

Kissing him, especially, wasn’t something she was keen on giving up.

His bedroom door opened quietly behind him, the lights from the hallway spilling inside and casting a slim rectangle of illumination onto the wall he’d been staring at. Then the room was dark again as the door closed.

There was hasty shuffling on the floor before he felt his mattress shift underneath him, a warm body pressing into his back.

“Dany, it’s late.” He said, fighting the urge to turn over and gather her into his arms, yet unable to scoot away from her touch. “What are you doing here?”

Oh, but he already knew the answer. The girl was an insatiable kissing monster who had come in the middle of the night to collect his dues.

“Can’t sleep. I want a good night kiss.” She answered, her breath tickling the back of his neck.

He couldn’t sleep either because kissing her was all he could think about. She’d made damn sure he had more than enough to remember.

“No.” He said firmly.

“Please?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You’re just gonna keep asking for more.”

And he couldn’t give her more, it wasn’t his place in this world to give her more.

He heard her chuckle, giddy, and could picture her grinning in the dark, her eyes disappearing into squints from smiling so hard. An image that made him irrationally happy, which frustrated him so because it shouldn’t.

Then he felt her mouth on his neck, planting a soft kiss on his bare skin that made him jerk. In an instant, he was sitting up on his bed, facing her, barely making out her figure in the scarce moonlight that streamed through the windows.

He watched the shadow of her form sit up in front of him, his brain going off like blaring sirens at the dangers this moment held. This moment with a girl on his bed, in this hour, in this darkness.

“Dany-”

This is wrong.

We shouldn’t do this.

This has to stop.

There was a whole list of things he could’ve said to finish, but never got the chance when she sealed his lips with hers in a tender, drawn out kiss that sucked the breath out of him. Was it the 10th time? Or the 11th time? He had to, _needed_ to keep count, because he would be in deep, deep trouble with himself if he lost track.

He lingered too long before breaking the kiss, and now his mind was too hazy, his body too hot.

“Dany.” He managed to choke out, bumping her nose with his before resting his forehead on hers.

“Good night, Jon.” She whispered, stealing one more kiss on his lips before she hopped off his bed and slipped out of his room.

12\. That was the 12th time. He had to do something to make sure it was the last time. Or at least the _final_ last time.

He fell back onto his pillows, wide awake, resigned that sleep will not be coming to him that night, only more and more thoughts of her.

*  
*  
*

The summer carnival always meant a great time. It was one of the things that let him feel like a kid all over again, no problems, no responsibilities, only exciting and fun thrills. But the farthest thing from exciting and fun also lurked in this same park, in the form of the damned zombie graveyard swarming with white walkers.

He couldn’t explain his immense hatred (and fear) of them. An incredible unease in him just stirred the first time he’d entered the maze, the first time he looked into the Night King’s eyes, and cried. He was 13.

Damn, maybe that’s why girls didn’t talk to him.

“Come _on_ , Jon, it’ll be so much fun!”

Dany was pulling at him, at his shirt, his arms, while he remained firmly planted on the bench where he sat, where he intended to wait until they’d finished having their version of fun.

“Fun for you, not for me. I’m not going in there.”

The zombies were all just actors, the set was fake, the dead animals (bears, mammoths and a fucking dragon) were just animatronics, but some defect in his mind always tricked him into seeing the real things. He didn’t even think he had the creativity to conjure such realistic images out of nowhere, that’s what made them so eerie.

“I told you, you can hold my hand the whole time.”

“And that’s a good idea, how?”

Of course he wanted to hold her hand, hold _her_ , but that was a terrible idea, worse than facing the stuff of his nightmares.

“What’s the hold up? Get your asses over here, we’re up next!” Robb called out impatiently, his siblings gathered around him as they awaited entrance to the ride.

“A little trouble getting the frightened pup to budge.” Dany replied, uselessly pulling at his arm in demonstration.

Jogging up to them, Robb sighed at Jon, exasperated. “I can’t believe you’re afraid of a few guys in zombie costumes.”

Scowling, he retorted, “I never judged you for nearly fainting at a wolf mascot.”

“Hey,” Robb started defensively, “wolf head and human body mashed together, that’s just disrespectful and wrong.”

“So are living corpses that chase you down!”

“Well, tough luck, you’re facing your fears tonight!”

He couldn’t win against Robb and Dany’s combined strength, but he sure as hell put up a fight until the very end, until they heaved him past the ticket gates.

He was shoved into a boat shaped ride and strapped on his seat before another word of protest could escape his mouth, flanked on all sides by his Stark cousins and his devious, overly demanding (lovely, extraordinarily breathtaking) aunt.

Gods, he couldn’t even successfully spite her in the privacy of his thoughts.

The boat was set in motion and their course towards hell was final and irreversible. Up ahead, he could make out the massive, foggy, isolated patch of land, towering mountains and abandoned fortresses scattered across. He could even make out shrill screaming in the distance.

“The night is dark and full of terrors.”

Oh, boy.

Letting out a shaky breath, he forced his gaze to their guide, the strange lady in a wig and costume the color of blood. Already, this early into the ride, he was getting chills at the familiarity of the red woman, like he’d met her in a different life time. Was she a pyromaniac?

She went on to tell the tale of a dead army that was gathering, growing, and they were fresh meat, soldiers-to-be if they failed to escape.

“Seek refuge south, behind the wall, only then will you find safety.” She concluded in her heavily accented voice, spouting some spine-chilling foreign garble for good measure.

They’d reached their destination, a dock of an abandoned village, then nothing but fog and the darkness beyond. Reluctantly, he unbuckled himself from his seat and followed his companions out of the boat.

“But let the Others take you and bring you to their king, then you will find the darkness and terrors that truly lie in the night.” Those were the last words from the red woman before the boat took her away, to fetch more meat for the dead army that awaited.

“All right guys, if you get split off the group, you’re on your own.” Robb said in a low voice as they walked towards a large gate, the village exit if they had to guess. “Just try to reach the wall in one piece.”

A hand slipped into his, _her_ hand, and in other circumstances he would’ve swatted it away, but he gratefully accepted its comfort and warmth, squeezing tight.

They walked on. Nothing stirred. Nothing seemed out of place. Not yet.

“Did you guys know there are some real horses somewhere around here?”

Grasping for a distraction, he whipped his head to glance over his shoulder at Arya, who appeared too amused in a barren place that had nothing amusing to look at. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, rode one the last time I was here was with Bran and Uncle Benjen. We broke the time record reaching the wall after Uncle Benjen stole a horse.”

He managed a chuckle despite his nerves. His uncle was so much like his mother, daring, and a born horse rider.

“I remember that record, I was the one who beat it.” Dany announced triumphantly over her shoulder.

“Fuck, no way.” Arya laughed in disbelief. “You were the one that hijacked the car carrying the dragon animatronic?”

“Picked up this loser and his friends on the way.” She cast a quick glance at him, smirking, before turning back to Arya.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Arya scoffed. “Then drove through an underpass, severing the dragon off the roof and letting it topple into the lake to sink. I’m all for wreaking havoc, but I admit, you set the bar too high.”

“Got the whole thing closed down for the rest of the summer.” Dany stated proudly.

“Got into so much trouble with my father.” Jon shot her a playful but scolding look, nudging her arm with his elbow.

“Well, thank your father that he’s a main investor of this park.”

Shaking his head, he stated matter-of-factly, “You really should’ve gotten banned.” 

She chuckled and crooned at him. “But then who’d be here to hold your poor, shaking hand?”

He sensed it more than he saw it, but he swore Arya rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue behind them.

“Hey everyone, _shut up_.”

Jon immediately tensed at Robb’s harsh whisper, freezing as his cousin held up a hand to halt them. His distraction gone, his heart began to race and his attention crashed back into the horrorfest he was dragged into.

A movement to the west, behind the cover of a tall barricade of logs, caught his attention. In a moment, the loaded silence broke with stomping and yelling as dark figures spilled into view, headed straight towards them.

Shit.

A shout to run. Incessant cusses. Plain, indecipherable shrieks.

The once dead quiet zone was suddenly filled with screams, his, his companions’, and the dozens of rotting fuckers at their heels.

He squinted up ahead, towards the makeshift hills that led to a maze, the quickest but riskiest path to the finish line. Straining his eyes, he caught a flicker of a shadow. More trouble.

“There’s more up ahead!” He managed over the hysteria.

“There’s more on all sides!”

_Shit._

He glanced around, and true enough, there was movement in too many directions, and too few escape routes to choose from.

“We have to split!”

There was no time to argue. He realized he’d let go of Dany’s hand when he felt it grab at his arm, pulling him with her to a diverging path, then down a slope of fake snow. The soft, unsteady ground gave under their feet, so they leaned back and let themselves glide the rest of the way. It was a quick ride down, but they left huge, obvious trails behind them, leaving them no time to spare for rest.

They found their way inside an empty shack, out of breath and hot from exertion. He was holding her so close, like he was holding onto dear life itself, stressed out of his wits from this so-called _entertainment_.

He wasn’t even completely aware of how tight his grip was; his arm wrapped around her, the tips of his fingers grazing the swell of her breast. Mere inches below, his other hand clamped onto her waist, nails digging into the flesh beneath the fabric of her top.

If he wasn’t so consumed with his fear of dead men walking, he would’ve seen the next moment coming. But he was distracted, unprepared for her mouth, which was on his in a second, parting his lips to slide her tongue inside for a taste. He promptly let her go and stumbled backwards, while she continued to advance, her hands clutching the front of his shirt.

In the cramped space of the shack, he’d tripped on something and she’d fallen on top of him, then his mind was cleared of white walkers and the mission to make it to the wall without being caught. In the place of his fears, the sensation of her, just her, overwhelmed him; her thighs squeezing at his sides, her hands cupping his jaw, her mouth attacking his.

His fingers dug into her waist, gripping tight to lift her off of him, or to pull her closer, he wasn’t sure, _fuck_ he couldn’t think straight.

“Dany.” He croaked in between kisses, a harsh warning in his voice.

She lifted her face from his an inch, panting and swallowing a few times. Gazing straight into his eyes, she said breathlessly, “Tell me to stop, Jon. I’ll stop.”

For the love of the gods, he couldn’t tell her to stop, much less pry his hands off her body at this point. He was at her mercy and she knew it.

Her mouth was on his once again, her lips forming a victorious smile before she deepened the kiss, teeth grazing and tongue stroking more fervently than ever.

He wanted her. Gods, he wanted her.

It was a desire he’d been working so hard to bury underground, to throw away at sea, to incinerate into ashes. And she was always foiling his attempts, deeply rooting herself into the place in his heart that could never be for her, but answered to no one but her.

They couldn’t have been quiet, because it wasn’t long before the sound of footsteps and dead groaning approached their hiding place.

Mercifully, she broke the kiss, hefting herself up with her palms on his chest, gasping for air as much as he was.

“Run when it’s clear. I hope you can stand.” She said in a breathless whisper, giving him one last smirk before she got to her feet and dashed out the door. The sound of the walkers went wild in the next moment, then gradually faded in the distance, wherever it was she led them.

Oh, how he could always count on her to defend him, to fend off his demons. But, fucking hells, that woman really loved to torment him herself.

The back of his head thudded against the floor as a good chunk of tension left him. Not including the tension in his pants.

Fuck. He wanted her.

But Others take him right then and there, he couldn’t have her. Seven hells, he couldn’t have her.

The 12th time wasn’t the last time. Hopefully, 13 would for once be a lucky number.

*  
*  
*

His guard was stretched thin.

He was tired of fighting, and she knew it.

He was weak for her, only her, and his reasons for staying away sounded less and less like the sense he needed it to be.

But if anything, he was persistent, and he’d fight to his last breath even if told that the fight was already lost.

He’ll keep his distance, he’ll hold his post in the midst of defeat.

But tonight, he had to forget the damn post, keep an eye on her, because she was flat out drunk as fuck.

This was a particularly difficult situation. The club was packed with bodies grinding against each other, the air dense with waves of heat, the smell of alcohol and blaring music, with guys trying to squeeze past him, to her. He didn’t know how many times he’d elbowed a drink, tripped an unsuspecting drunk, or stirred up a scuffle just to herd the trouble away from her.

It was quite a lot of work. But the work was worth it, he thought, whenever he caught sight of her flushed smile as she blissfully danced with her friends, undisturbed. He’ll extend her bliss as long as he could, if only to keep seeing that smile.

“Hi, handsome.”

He jerked at the realization that the compliment was directed at him. Looking down, he found a pair of dark eyes on a pretty, flushed face. Her hands crept up to his collar, pulling him down so her lips were tickling his ear.

“I’ve been watching you all night, guarding those girls. Your sister and friends or something?”

He blinked. “I-”

“Quite a gentleman now, aren’t you?” She chuckled, tugging at his collar as her lips formed a smile on his cheek.

“Move, bitch”

The weight of the girl’s hands on his collar disappeared as she stumbled to the side, into unsuspecting strangers who were too lightheaded to stay on their feet at the collision. Drinks spilled, glasses broke.

As a commotion started, slender arms wrapped around him and a silver head rested under his chin. From her drunken slur, he could only make out one word. _Mine_.

People were watching. Security was approaching. It was time to go.

He maneuvered her back into the safety net of her friends, then steered the group out of the club, out to the driveway where Barristan waited for them.

Home at last, he watched Dany and her friends giggle and stumble their way into the nearest guest bedroom, barefoot, heels and purses dangling in their hands. He asked the remaining maid to attend to their sobering needs before ending her shift. After thanking her, he made his way to his room, cleaned up, changed and went to bed.

Too tired to stay up thinking of Dany, sleep found him easily, so he could dream of her instead.

He stirred at the sound of his doorknob turning, squinting at the figure briefly silhouetted by the hallway lights before the door was shut and darkness enveloped the room once more. He glanced at the glowing numbers of his digital clock.

Gods, it was barely 30 minutes since he’d closed his eyes.

“Dany, you’re supposed to be asleep.” He croaked out groggily, feeling his mattress shift under the weight of his visitor.

“Good night kiss.” She muttered, her speech still a slur as her hands fumbled to find his face.

A moment after her fingers latched onto either side of his face, tugging at his beard, he felt her lips on his and tasted the alcohol that lingered there.

Then he was fully awake, sitting up, breaking their kiss and circling her wrists in his hands.

“Dany, stop.” He was telling her now, telling her to stop. She said she would if he told her to.

But gods, she hadn’t sobered up nicely at all. She wasn’t listening to him, struggling in his grasp to latch her lips on his, on him.

His bed creaked under them at their increasing struggle. He didn’t want to hurt her, but gods he had to use more of his strength than he wanted to, to pin her down. His hands firmly locked her wrists above her head, his legs straddled her sides.

The moon must’ve been full and bright tonight, merely hiding behind the clouds, until now, until its light streamed through his window and illuminated her form. Her chest rose and fell unevenly as she panted, grunting as she unsuccessfully fought against his grip.

Then she was arching her back, whimpering, jerking her hips under him, writhing and squirming in a manner that sent heat rushing to his face. Her whimpers turned into moans, the sound desperate like the thrashing of her body. Desperate for a touch, he knew. For his touch. For the invasion of his fingers, his mouth, and more than anything, _him_.

She was too loud now, but his hands were full, busy holding her down. Anxious to silence her, he covered her mouth with his, which he really should’ve mulled over carefully. The pressure of his lips only muffled her moans, which persisted as she kissed him, sucking, licking, biting, awakening his desire for her a hundredfold.

Cursing himself, he bolted upright, severing their contact as he tried to fumble away from her. Like a magnet, her body followed his as she crawled onto his lap, her fingers roaming and her mouth reaching for his.

_“Dany.”_ He tried, as he stretched his neck to avoid her kisses, but only succeeded in baring his throat and his jaw for her to ravish.

The pressure of her hands left his chest and he glanced down to see them fisting the hem of her dress, then pulling up. He grabbed her wrists to halt her attempt at undressing. When she started moving her hips against his, pressing her sex against his growing erection, he had to abandon her wrists to lock his arms around her in an attempt to still her, to trap her wandering hands between their chests.

But he only succeeded in limiting her motions, not stopping them completely, and so she continued violently rocking her hips into his, rubbing herself against the bulge of his hardening cock.

_Fuck_. He felt too hot, too dizzy, but he grappled for what remained of his senses and held still, held her painfully tight against him, afraid that he was smothering her but more afraid that she would scream into the night if he loosened his grip.

She cried into his neck and tensed in his arms for a hair-raising moment, then grew limp, breathing heavily against him.

At his own sharp intake of air, he realized he’d been holding his breath. Exhaling, he loosened his arms around her, laying her down on his pillows as gently as he could before stumbling off the bed, knees weak and legs trembling at the discomfort around his crotch.

_Gods. Tissue._

His brain could barely form a comprehensible thought, clouded by lust, so much lust, and dissatisfaction, so much more of that. He spared one more glance at the girl on his bed, the stream of moonlight dancing over her serene sleeping face, her expression tired but content. His eyes traveled down the curves of her body to find that her dress had ridden up to her hips, her legs spread apart to reveal the dampness that coated the cotton of her underwear.

_Fuck, tissue. Lots of fucking tissue._

He tossed a thin blanket over her legs before awkwardly wobbling his way to his bathroom.

*

He woke from the discomfort of lying on the cold, hard marble of his bathtub. Though stiff and uncomfortable, he remained where he lay, staring at the ceiling and counting the new record of kisses in his head, counting the new last.

Knowing she was still on his bed, he refused to rise and leave the tub. She’d crossed a line this time and he wasn’t ready to face her, fearing that his anger would swell and swallow him up. There hadn’t been many times that he’d been angry with her. But the heartbroken look on her face was almost always too much for him to bear.

The bathroom door opened slowly, the motion of which made him bolt upright as he watched Dany peek from behind. They locked eyes for only a brief moment before she turned her head down, staring at the ground as she slipped inside and settled herself on the floor by the tub.

Silently, she laid the side of her head to rest on the brim of the tub that separated them, her face contorted with dizziness and, more than that, regret.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, her voice croaking.

Whatever anger he thought he’d feel disappeared down the drain as his heart melted at the sight of her, her brows pinched together in apology and her eyes unable to meet his gaze.

“Nothing happened. Don’t worry.” He said reassuringly, but she merely pressed her lips together in a thin line, unconvinced.

“I’m not angry.” He leaned forward to hover his face close to hers and said softly, “I can never be angry with you.” He was mesmerized with her, even in that moment, her hair a mess and her eyes puffy, and his enchantment seeped into his voice, he could hear it with his own ears.

Slowly, she lifted her head, then after a hesitant moment, her eyes, which were bright and shining with unshed tears.

“I love you.” She murmured, and he swore, the tender look in her eyes and the sweet sound of her voice should’ve stopped his heart right then.

When he said the words right back, a small smile tugged the corners of her mouth, then her eyes fell to his lips, before she leaned forward oh so slightly for a kiss.

Unconsciously, he found himself closing his eyes and leaning forward as well. He expected to feel the press of her lips on his, but when there was nothing, he furrowed his brows in confusion and peeked through his lashes to find her staring at him in surprise.

He realized it then too. He’d always been the one to pull away from a kiss, not the one to draw towards it.

Her mouth that hung open morphed into a sly grin. “Have you grown used to me, Jon?” she asked, her voice full of mirth.

“I…”

_I…_

He swallowed hard, and she laughed her lovely laugh before leaning forward, as far as the bathtub rim between them allowed her. Closing her eyes and tilting her face towards him, she commanded, “Kiss me.”, smiling as she waited.

Heaving one heavy sigh, he dipped his head and fitted his mouth on hers, kissing her softly and sweetly. He pulled back and opened his eyes to see that she hadn’t moved an inch, her eyes still firmly shut.

“Kiss me again.” She ordered plainly.

Obediently, he smacked at her lips again, a press deeper and a moment longer.

“Again.” She demanded, barely even a second after he broke away.

Staring at her, he huffed, incredulous at how difficult she was to sate. “You’re so spoiled.” He chided.

Brows furrowed and eyes still shut, she replied, “What did you just call me?”

Rolling his eyes and not sparing another moment, he captured her lips in his and kissed her once more, soft, slow and sensual, and he didn’t break away until she quivered and cried into his mouth. Breathless and dizzy, he pried his eyes open to watch her lay her cheek on the bathtub rim. Her face was flushed, her lips swollen and thoroughly kissed, and her expression serenely content.

He was reminded again of how much he wanted her, a heaviness weighing on his heart and an uncomfortable heat spreading to his groin.

But he won’t.

Time and time again, she’ll test his resolve, she’ll make him lose count, but he won’t stop fighting, he won’t take her for himself.

“Mine.” She murmured just now.

_Mine_ , she’d mumbled last night.

_No._ he thought with a heavy heart. And with a heavy heart, he decided with finality that this moment was the last, the very last.

He gazed at her in wonder, taking in her beauty, then felt his heart crumble at the thought of how much more pain he was going to bring her. Because he couldn’t. He couldn’t offer her the love she deserved, free from persecution, free to parade in front of her world.

“Mine.” She muttered once more under her breath.

_No,_ he thought, the weight in his heart almost unbearable.

_I’m not yours._

 

 

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of the tunnel of this fic adventure is getting harder and harder to make out! What have I gotten myself into!
> 
> Like woah, it's increasingly difficult to translate scenes in my head into writing, just hope the thoughts and feelings came across well enough.
> 
> Bear with me, thank you for riding along /heart/


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